Griffin's game and Paisley's art

Griffin has been really into drawing and writing and mimicking school these days. He plays this game where he draws a picture and then asks us yes/no questions about the picture. It is confusing to say the least but he loves it and I think it is using a part of his brain that he does not often sit still long enough to use...so I try to play along. I sure wish I knew the rules better though.

Paisley loves to drum hence I put drumsticks on her wish list. For now she uses what she can find around the house: wooden spoons, colored pencils, markers. Today she had markers while I was cleaning the kitchen. I heard her drumming and then she was quiet but I figured she was just watching the show that I could hear had just began. NOPE. She was coloring....all over my walls and stairs and window and laundry basket and her baby's head. It is not washable so I guess we will be staring at that for awhile. Ugh.

Griffin Story

This story talks about periods so if you don't want to read about that then stop reading.


I was raised in a family with two girls, my mom, and my dad. My father was always pretty understanding of us being girls and all that entails....I am sure he felt he didn't always do a great job and sometimes he did not but overall he was pretty sympathetic to cramps, bleeding, hormones, emotions, etc. I then married a man who is also quite sympathetic and considering he was raised with all boys and only his mom as the girlie I think he is very nice to me when I am emotional and feeling awful. My 5 y.o. boy? Yeah, not so much. He can make me feel like the most worthless, vial lepar when I am bleeding. The other morning was not unlike many and he barged in when I was going to the bathroom. I happened to be changing my tampon as well. He exclaimed "oh gross. gross, gross, gross" and ran out. Obviously I am an adult so I did not cry or yell or even both to address him on this topic but it hurt my feelings.

I asked Lee about it and how he thought he was taught to be so kind and gentle with women as well as understanding. He said that in part it was from his father's action but also by reading science books and the like. I asked if he would address this with Griffin as I did not think I could get into his brain. Griffin was treating me like he was superior, what with his penis and non-bleeding. lol.

Lee never said he spoke to Griffin but the next day while Griffin was taking a bath I told him I had to run downstairs to grab something. I got to the bottom of the stairs and he yelled "mom."

me: "what. I will be right back."
G: "no, wait. I need to tell you something."
me: "what?"
G (yelling): "I'm sorry about the blood. I'm sorry about the blood."
me: "thanks for the apology. it's ok. you just hurt my feelings."
G: "thanks. you hurt my feelings too."

haha. good lord this kid. maybe this was funnier in person but man, I crack up laughing about him and his macho attitude.

Happy Wednesday

I know today is thursday but yesterday was wednesday and it was happy. It is the first wednesday in a very long time that I can remember ending the day as happy or happier than it began. For some reason i have been noticing this trend (until yesterday) of a lot of anxiety at the end of the day on wednesday. I have been desperate to figure out why so I could change something so as to avoid it. Still no clue but man it was nice to have an anxiety free wednesday and enter into my day off feeling pretty awesome! Happy thursday too.

chalmer

thinking about him a lot recently. it is weird how that comes in waves. At first (or even before the end) I thought about him nearly daily, sometimes most of the day. Then not as often, sometimes never in a day. More recently, like the past three weeks, something has reminded me of him daily. Whether I pass by his house, or a patient asks about him, or a joke reminds me of him, or I see his phone number in my phone (which I just can't take out yet). yesterday Lee and I were discussing his current job. It is for an agency and he said parts of it are just as the show mad men portrays....I laughed to him and said "your grandpa would love it, wouldn't he?" he agreed that Chal would love hearing about the stories and successes of this company...of course relating it back to his times working for an agency :) He always managed to do that.

anyhow, I struggle often with the thoughts of death and the "after" but yesterday it was pretty clear that at least in that moment chalmer was quite aware of the stories and Lee's new adventures. It felt good to feel him still in our world. Hope we can relay that to the kids effectively over time as well.

p.s. I worked 15 hours today and although it felt good, it was too much.

making of a bad day?

This one had all the possible components: woke feeling rushed and confused after a restless night's sleep, raining out and Dreary, cramps, medicare teleconference for 2 hours for work (blech), new patient totally awesome and totally great but felt like I could not help, more rain and lots of it just in time for me to get drenched. THEN I picked up the kids and they were nothing short of obnoxious.

So how did this turn into a much better day? I just surrendered to it, I complained a little to kelly, and well, the kids started playing together adorably. It is still raining but we had breakfast for dinner since Lee is at work late and I caught up on some chores while they played. I think bedtime will be pretty easy as I have seen them both yawn just enough to know they are getting tired. then I will put up my feet and tackle some paperwork. Early to bed as well for a kick my ass wednesday.

School teaches us all lessons

So, this week is spare change week at Griffin's school. They (the school) sent home a paper that said they were collecting spare change from us (the parents and kid) for a FUNdraiser for Fun things at school. The letter said they would accept checks, cash, and coins (only rolled pennies).

So yesterday I went to the coinstar and cashed in our spare change. It amounted to $48.63.

Today Lee sent Griffin with said monies to school. Later today Lee got a phone call from them.

Them: "this is not an emergency but Griffin showed up here with a lot of money...."
Lee: "yeah for the spare change fundraiser."
THem: "oh so you meant to send that much? Oh THANK YOU!"
Lee: "Yes. We have a spare change jar and so does Griffin. Since he donated his, we decided to donate ours as well."

Griffin (after school): "We are in 1st PLACE!"
Lee: "by a little or a lot?"
Griffin: "by a WHOLE lot"

can you say SUCKERS? haha. why would they not be more specific in their request. I seriously had no clue....He better get the damn pizza party now. haha.

cleanse

we are starting this week, probably wednesday! I am pretty excited although we have promised to be lax slightly or shall I say "easy on ourselves". I am not quite sure what that will mean yet but we will give it a good shot!

Wish List

putting this here just so I can keep adding to it and not forget when someone asks or I have monies to spend.

Me and Lee: mandolin for kitchen, vitamix (haha yeah, right), small dehydrator, pizza stone (pampered chef-really I just want to have a party and get many items from them), bread pan (large-pampered chef would be great again)

Paisley:drumsticks (nothing fancy, just plain old drumsticks from a music store), leggings ala hanna anderson or carters (size 3 or 4/all colors), hello kitty backpack, crocs (berry/black size 8/9), zhu zhu pet but only a girlie one (ha), tighter fitting long sleeve tops for under dresses and tee shirts for winter (size 4T at least-monkey arm girl, all c0lors but definitely white, pinks, purple, gray)

Griffin: http://www.zhuzhupets.com/ he seriously plays with the two he has all the time!
batteries (energizer rechargable for the pets above), size 5T hoodies (lighter weight and heavier weight/4T if really big or even size XS in boys), size 5 slim pants (his legs are long and his butt is small), crocs (size 10/11, brown on brown)

Me: new hair brush-flat from sephora (the one I have is awesome but several years old at this point), make up (some essentials)

http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P69908&categoryId=C10451&shouldPaginate=true

day 8 No Poo

It is going well. Wednesday I used some baking soda mixed with water and my hair was awesome for two days. By last night it was not oily feeling but I could smell it a bit. Today I used just a little bit of baking soda water and it cleaned right up. Really happy with this so far....amazing!

Cooking

Today I made soup. I also cut up and ate with the kids a cantelope and watermelon, baked 2 pumpkins and their seeds, steamed a bunch of wilting swiss chard and then pureed it and then froze it for later use in soups or sauce, and I hand squeezed some concord grapes into juice. I shoudl go pick the tomatoes and freeze them but that might have to wait. Maybe I will have Lee do that tomorrow.

The soup is so good.....leftover chicken from last week made the broth and chicken, squash, zucchini, carrots, celery, red onion, garlic, swiss chard, and orzo/couscous blend from TJs. Added some basil, oregano, salt, and lemon pepper! I love soup.

veggie burgers

veggie burgers


I totally want to try these! yum

Ever feel out of your body?

Like you don't understand how you got where you are or understand who you have become? It is so odd when this happens and especially when it happens during a great day, a successful day, a happy day. I have been noticing for some time now that wednesdays means two things for me: long, hard work day and the feeling above. It seems that the two are connected and I think in addition the feeling above is actually a form of anxiety. I can be totally happy and something will suddenly shift and I have panic feelings, or don't feel myself, or begin dissecting my life, interactions, and relationships. And then it passes just as quickly. Really strange stuff.

CrockPot Oatmeal

I made this last night and Paisley and I have been manging on it all morning. She LOVES it! I got the groats at Leaf last night and the farmer said they were freshly cut....so amazing working with the farmers directly.

Groat Oatmeal in CrockPot

we put some raisins and a little brown sugar in ours and microwaved for 30 s. this a.m.
Lee tried it with peanut butter, honey, and sliced bananas...he liked it too!

Can we shrink the U.S.?

it would be nice if I could take the United States and just sort of squish it together so my family could have their lives and I could have mine but we could be a lot closer in proximity :(

they all left this a.m. and I am sad. Paisley and Griffin both asked about them and we had tears. I know they will adapt but I hate it. I hate the all or none feeling of it all. boo.

Ok, done with my crying. I am still mad and sad but such is life. I chose to move here, right?

No Poo

i am trying something new. No shampoo. I am on day 4 and it seems to be going well. I will keep you updated. If you want to read about it here is a good breakdown

http://www.instructables.com/id/How-to-Go-No-Poo/

Right now I am not using anything else but water but since our water is pretty hard I have the apple cider vinegar and baking soda ready on hand.

2nd week done

and he is still happy to be going! This morning in fact Lee and I were subject to a "lesson" by teacher Griffin :) He was teaching us letters and words that begin with those letters and also about rhyming words! He is learning so much in such a short amount of time. It is truly amazing when there is a foundation how they can pick right back up. wow.

This week will be short due to Labor day and since we have had people in town I am anticipating some struggles getting back on a good schedule. We shall see.

The two things I see the biggest advancement in since the spring are cutting and writing letters.