Christmas eve eve

Today I worked a half day which means I got stuck there two hours longer than I hoped and still didn't get everything done. Paisley seems to have come down with a small bug/virus so I ran to the store for a few items and then home to care for her. Exhausted I crashed on the couch next to her while she watched cartoons and griffin seemingly had endless amounts of energy. When we finally all had a bit more energy we decorated the tree together. It was quite fun and a memory I will cherish over the next year! I am thinking about all these moments now where it is still just the four of us...two parents and two kids who can talk and interact with us. Soon the baby will be here and that will change things...I am not saying that is bad but it will be different. So for ow I am cherishing these moments of being a family of four.

The kids went to bed quickly and a bit early. Then lee and I finished our crafting and wrapping..well, most of it. Of course it can't all be done...so we will finish tomorrow. Now to finish that, make cinnamon rolls, make soup for Christmas, exchange gifts with Kelly, and clean this funky house. Oh, and enjoy myself. A glass of wine might be in order for that to occur.

Breast Cancer wins again :(

http://mywifesfightwithbreastcancer.com/

this is an amazing story of pictures of one woman's fight with cancer. She died just the other day.

More deep conversations with griffin (and paisley)

We were driving to the dentist on Tuesday. As we drove down our street I spotted the mail lady named sandy so I stopped and gave her a holiday card. After driving a bit paisley says "there are two sandy's....the mail lady and baba, daddy's mommy."at this point griffin wanted to know a) why her name was also sandy and b) why she wasn't a mail man and when we would get a mail MAN.

Drive a little more and we start discussing all the grandparents real names and what they also call them by. Grammie=Shirley, mommys papa=Darrell carroll (that really blew their mind), daddy's papa=David norris(they were amazed he had our last name).

Then griffin wanted to know who the old one was that had silver hair. The old papa, you know, the old one. (I had no idea what/who he was talking about at first and then realized it was lees grandfather who died last year). Yes the one who died. But then he wanted to know when everyone was going to die....(I told him we don't know but we hope a long time from now). Paisley is meanwhile interjecting that she doesn't remember the old papa (which breaks my heart). Griffin then asks when I will die? When daddy will die? I said I wasn't sure but I hoped it wouldn't happen soon. Then he wanted to know what would happen to them if we both died (by this point I am hoping we can time warp to the dentist and get out of the conversation). I told him that mom and dad would make arrangements for people to take care of them paisley : "what are arrangements?"). Griffin then debated all the people he thought could take them and the different reasons...."Kelly could cause she really loves me. John could cause he lives in Florida. Etc". Paisley then says:" they cold all take us griffin because they all love us."

We finally were t the dentists office and agreed that many people loved them and it was unlikely mommy and daddy would die together or soon and that all would be ok even if that did happen.

Geez....not exactly my easy ride in the car. Their little minds really can move at rapid pace.

Driving at the holidays

Is maddening. Everyone is in a hurry and turns on their worst driving etiquette and most aggressive skills. Tonight we were behind a real winner and altho lee was the one driving I could not help but notice as well. Some expletives might have been released from our mouths even. The kids were unsure what to make of the situation so the questions ensued.

Paisley: "which woman? THAT green car momma?"
Griffin: "where is this bad driver? What makes them bad?"

And then the repeat of questions followed by more confusion. It ended up being hysterical as talking to children about adult real life situations often can be. Lol.

Names

We are getting closer. It is very exciting. It makes me excited to be closing in but since we will have to wait until march to know which side, boy or girl, we land it isn't that exciting.....yet. But I am still pretty psyched. If/when we decide we will do another voting poll. In the meantime any other suggestions?

Rules we are trying to follow:
2syllables
A noun
Goes with griffin and paisley
English, Scottish, Celtic


Also, any family members have suggestions for family middle names. We are considering/set on mcgregor for a boy middle name and considering Ada, Merrill, Kelly for a girl middle name. Would love to hear other suggestions of names I might not have thought. We do want a family connection for middle names.

Running

Is not my favorite pastime. While that may be true I can run and do occasionally when not pregnant. When pregnant? Apparently this is something I should always avoid. Today lee dropped me at a store so I could pick up a last minute Xmas present. He circled and I had just missed him as I exited the store. I tried waving, walking briskly, and then I ran. Oh my goodness. This must have been a hysterical sight as two men laughed at me and two others smiled and said "well merry Christmas.". I have never felt so ridiculous. After finally catching up to him and getting into the car, it took a good 5 minutes to stop panting. And then after driving home I could barely walk. An icing down and nap later things improved but I am pretty sure I will be suffering for days from my little "jog". Good grief.

A side note: this reminds me of a story my sister in law reminds me of on occasion. The first time I met her I was pregnant with paisley and battling some sciatica. It was august too so the combination of pain, heat, and pregnancy had me sitting on an ice pack (no humility I swear). Needless to say she was horrified because she did not know why I was sitting on ice. She asked my BIL "doesn't that usually happen after the baby?". Haha. I guess I really have broken her in since ;)

My five

A day home with kids
Food coop, city fresh holiday share, and fresh fork ll this week.
Mostly ready for Christmas already
Chocolate cake-yum!
A plan in action

More changes

If 2011 has taught me nothing else , it has taught me change can be a good thing. This may seem common sense but I have never been very good at acceptance of it. But 2011 forced me in a way because of threats to my work, home, and body (3rd pregnancy). And at the end of this year close by we will be experiencing and accepting another change at the office. Sarah is leaving.

The simple explanation is she got another job. The longer explanation involves my husband "stealing her" for his own company. It is a great opportunity for sarah and I am sooooo happy for her. We are all going to miss her though and her shoes will be hard to fill at the office. So, 2012 will for sure bring a new employee and a new baby. I am optimistic and when I am feeling stable (hah) I am excited at the prospects.

Hear we go.....

Crazy Preggo Stuff

I know reading about my crazy pregnancy is just so thrilling for people. lol. But I got nothing else since I can actually put up what I have been crafting...I will after the holidays though.

One of the craziest parts of pregnancy are the dreams. woh. For the longest time I have been dreaming about friends (various) calling me up and being really pissed at me and leaving me angry voicemails over non-sensical situations. Then last week was the "back in college" craziness. Last night was a sex dream. It wasn't risque but geez it was weird. Never in any other part of my life are my dreams this all over the place and do I remember them so well.

I am looking forward to next June when it is warm and my body might be back to some semblance of "normal". I love this baby already but I do not love what he/she is doing to my body/mind.

Elf On the shelf laughter

This made me laugh so hard I cried, happy tears this time though.

http://peopleiwanttopunchinthethroat.blogspot.com/2011/12/over-achieving-elf-on-shelf-mommies.html

Day salvaged with a long nap

I was a hormonal wreck today....a pregnancy stereotype to the max. I did not feel particularly tired but after work I took a bath and then headed to bed, mostly to protect my family from my horrid mood. I fell asleep and slept four hours, with the light on. The dog woke me with some shenanigans and I feel so much better. Crazy.

I was crying today. And over things I know are not worth crying over. For example, a friend dropped me off a muffin and after eating it (it was delicious) I cried because it was so nice. Then I cried because I confused my front desk and they did not give the mail carrier his present. And then I craved, like hold me back craved, fountain coke. So I got that at lunchtime. Weird stuff those hormones. I don't care for that which I doubt many do but seriously those experiences are some of the harder for me during pregnancy/life...those feelings of helplessness because hormones are controlling the show.

On to another day but first a let dinner as I am starving!

Midwife appointment

Got to feel the baby (who is head down!) and hear the heartbeat. I also passed my glucose check.....bring on the goodies...lol. Just kidding. I have craved savory much more anyhow. I gained 8 lbs. This month which likely explains all the pain and contractions....growth! I hope it slows a little....not into gaining too much more or adding to my stomach marks too much more....slow and steady is fine with me.

We got to discuss a little bit of the birth plan, more in theory than in detail and it was very exciting. After the holidays and then my next visit only 8-9 weeks more til d day. Crazy. Still lots of little things to do but we are pretty much ready....or so we think. Lol.

Now if those names would just decide for themselves. Ha. Soooo hard this time.

Holiday Prepping

We spent a good portion of last weekend creating for our loved ones. Tomorrow I am going to do a little project with the kids for their teachers....chocolate peppermint popcorn. I scored big with griffin on this because he loves popcorn and because I am psychic (or he thinks) since they are decorating their classroom with peppermints. He thinks I am falling in with the theme.

Anyhow, you pop plain popcorn, put it on a cookie sheet, melt chocolate, drizzle, sprinkle crushed peppermints. let get solid and then crunch up a bit and put in a little tin. I really really hope it turns out ok.

Tomorrow is also midwife appointment....I just want to get through today. A busy one at work. It is very sad when you wake from a restful night's sleep and the first thing you think is "can't wait to go to bed tonight." ha. There is not enough sleep for this lady these days.

Big Clothes

I am laughing about this so much tonight. I posted on facebook and discovered I am not alone in the "big clothes" phenomenon but still...it is baffling me and cracking me up. I took a bath and then searched my drawers for some comfy clothes. what did I pull out? some comfy (and cute) maternity PJ pants, a very soft, almost see through t-shirt from middle school camp, and a very soft, very over sized long sleeve tee from high school. How did those last two fit? Because apparently i LOVED big clothes back then. lol. sooo funnny HOW big though. oh and really? why do I still have them because the camp shirt? is really almost see through and i could almost put my arm through it, not the arm hole, through the shirt. haha.

oh, and the overalls.....yeah, those were huge too. maybe for another post.....

Early morning

Several times per week someone in this house wakes me up in the middle of the night. I think this has happened roughly since griffins infancy. Typically though I just go back to sleep and easily....not so much when pregnant :(. So here I lie in bed wide awake. I have tried lots already to go to sleep and nothing is helping. Now there are only 15 minutes before the alarm so I might as well give up. It's gonna be a looooooooong frida.

Paperwork from bed

Having braxton hicks at a week shy of third trimester is so not cool. I had a busy day yesterday but felt good. Today, not so much. So I am in bed tackling some paperwork, guzzling water, and hopomg they simmer down....I have too much to do. Of course I will do none of it if needed but sheesh.....this momma is used to being n the go......

Then and Now...woh

This is me pregnant with Griffin at 27 weeks



and THIS is me pregnant tonight with 3rd baby 26 weeks. How will there be more room? haha. pardon the toweled head :)

Long Lost Blogger

I promise I did not disappear. Just been a very busy month and now we are heading into an even busier one....DECEMBER! Since I last posted we have celebrated our anniversary (8 years)! We have closed up the garden...both community and in our backyard. We have cleaned and cleaned and cleaned the house again....these kids are slobs but the good news is we are getting them involved and that is becoming easier to accomplish. Now if only we could get them not to fight over who does what job :(

I drove the kids across the midwest to St. Louis for Thanksgiving. They really did an amazing job both ways. The trip there was really rough on my body and I did not cooperate but thankfully the return trip was pretty easy on all of us. Griffin was coming down with something on the way there and although upon reflection this makes sense I did know what was wrong with him until the following day---he was just crabby and uncooperative in the car. So he gave everyone in the house some form of his illness-my poor grandmother got it the worst :( I feel terrible about this.

We are now home and back at the grind. Oh the grind. I despise the grind. I have to put my tail to work though for the next three months...get this place in exactly the shape i want it for my return to new mommyhood...aka maternity leave. Plans are in the works for this but admittedly stressing me out. I want to just get through the holidays and then focus on baby but sadly I cannot...not enough time. woh.

so, here december is just two days away. We have parties, crafting, decorating, baking, and celebrating to do! It will be fun and exhausting. check ya on the other side or maybe, just maybe I will get my act together and blog more than once/month.

The deevil child turned angel

Paisley and I got off to a rough start this a.m. I am pretty sure we got a glimpse of what 14 y.o. Daughter and mom will be like together. It was ugly. I lost my temper. She threw a fit but man oh man the worst was the stubborn factor. This girl is stubborn. I have wondered all day what I can learn for the further from this. How will it translate later? And really will it? Will I remember these moments down the road and if so, will they help or hinder me in coping?

Any who, she came to work with me and was nothing but totally pleasant. Bizarro world. It was a great day but wo, this a.m.!

A day off

I have wished this now with all three pregnancies. I don't want it to be over or for the baby to be here yet...I just want a one day break, to have my body back, and to be able to sleep in less akward positions. I guess this is all just part of the glory and misery of bringing a child into this world. Onward I go.....

What a great, fun weekend

My mom came to visit this weekend. We were on the go almost the entire time. Whew. But it was so fun. We had the lakewood annual chocolate walk last thursday which is a paid event where adults visit local businesses to collect a chocolate treat. Very fun! Then world series and Emerson School's pumpkin patch event! Saturday just running around and cooking so we could be ready with our costumes. Sunday we walked/ran the 1 mile fun run for a local race and then more crafts, cooking, and hanging at the house. and then Halloween! ha. all of it recapped has me even more exhuasted than I feel currently. My mom is headed back to st. louis and I am tackling paperwork....schloads of it. Yuck!

Newest bundle of joy

all is healthy. legs crossed tight. guess we get a suprise in march :)

Still sicky and us

I had the longest work day yesterday. It did not help my cold one bit. I went to bed shortly after getting home and slept great until 5 a.m. Then I was just BING awake. So now I am super exhausted from the snot and the early wake up.

Our us is tomorrow! I am pretty stoked. I keep worrying About dumb stuff related to it, ie. Lee not getting there on time, the rec not working,prelims withinsurance. I am pretty sure it is just nerves about the baby seeping out ut who knows? Regardless it is making more irritable.

Some stuff at work has been resolved and making a little more calm and then a few other things are not and making me NUTS! I will wait until I am healthy and then tackle it head on!

Full blown cold

I am miserable. Stimkers. Stuffed up to the max and pressure in the head...combine that with my already reduced breathing ability and I am a hot mess. Pretty sure I am making my family miserable too sadly. This is going to be an easier week but lots going on still. Mi hope to rest rest rest today and get better quick.

Saturdays on pbs

I have been surfing PBS any Saturday I get a chance. I forgot how great it can be....cooking shows, documentaries, and other great programs! I am such a nerd I know.

I woke this a.m. Feeling like my body is fighting something...belch. Head feels congested and energy very low. So I am still in my pjs and also mostly been on the couch.

Later cardinals game! A very exciting Saturday indeed. Bout the only other discovery today...NUTELLA! And it is bad in such a good way that it will be exiles from my house future wise. I might buy it as stocking stuffer tho since it really is so good. Ha.

Dreamt this baby was a boy

But he was wearing a bow. It was an odd dream in which I did not discover the gender until 2 days pp

It was all crazy and then I got mad about someone putting a bow on my baby boy (thinking about this realistically paisley probably did it-ha). Anyhow I wonder if my dreams are right?

Must be a cardinals fan in there

Watching the game baby chuck started kicking and kicking and kicking. At one point my hand moved. I cannot wait until others can feel him/her in there....I think it will be so neat for the kids. Anyhow of course once lee had his hand near me the baby stopped kicking. Our kids are always shy in utero with their dad...either that or he has that calming effect on them. Just call him the fetus whisperer :)

Oh and the cardinals won game 1 of the world series! Goooo red birds!

Bed early

Went to bed very early last night and feel pretty good today. So maybe I was just really fatigued yesterday? We shall see how today goes. I have a very busy work day just like Monday and am wondering how much that contributed to yesterday. I didn't feel like I needed a nap overal but my body needed rest physically. This is the worst part for me-losing some semblance of control with my body.

Body protesting

I feel like ever since I said just the other day I was on target for gaining less weight this time my body has been in protest. I have been watching my food choices and walking as much as I can. Today my body just basically said "no more". I am going to try to listen but this stinks...I want to be active as long as I can be but this stinks if this is it. Ugh. Acceptance being worked on.

19 week check up today

All is healthy with me and baby chuck. I really have been feeling great so there was little to talk about. I gained weight but moderate and am on target to gain less this time which would be great really. She thinks I might have an anterior placenta which I have suspected...next week we shall find out at our ultrasound!

Anyone watching Dexter this season? So great and this season is awesome so far. I highly rec this series altho be warned it is gory.

almost 19 week belly

here I am in all my glory. ha. definitely "popped".

Dead squirrels

I ran across way to many dead squirrels today...none by my own doing but it got me thinking. My great grand mother referred to them as rats with tails..she considered them a nuisance. Now having a 6 and 4 y.o. In my life my appreciation for a squirrels cute factor has grown. As I walked to my car today I noticed the tail of this particular squirrel...it was different than some, fluffy yes bit also speckled with color. He/she was picking bugs from a tree lawn and only slightly moved away as I walked by. Moments later I got in my car and drove down the street only to see this squirrel squished in the road..yes the SAME squirrel! The tail flitting in the wind away from the body. I almost cried. It sucked. I was horrified my kids might see it and be affected...but there it was in the road. Aaahhh, the innocence of children....glad they are in my life to bring me out of my desensitized state at moments,even if it is emotional. I say a short prayer for that squirrel....and then proceeded to see 4 other dead squirrels in the road...so I said squirrel prayers yet again. Oh my...that was sort of ridiculous. By that point I was laughing. Yes, I was laughing at dead squirrels or at my situation with the. All sort of a ridiculous Friday afternoon.

Avocado, apple, then pear?

I have a pregnancy app and the last few weeks the above mentioned fruits have been what they have used to describe the babies size. It makes no sense to me..they are so negligible with varying sizes amongst the fruits. Haha.

Feeling the baby move it feels bigger than a pear today. Lol. Way bigger.

Being adult

Feels foreign sometimes. I think my parents did a great job raising me and they take life in their hands when needed. Yet it seems more than I care to admit I discover things just a little late...usually through very good observation skills but really? When will I just figure it out? Ugh.

Roof
Insurance
School Shiznit
Couponing
House Shiznit

Oh and more.....whatever. I know I am a fine adult but it is just frustrating. I feel like I am just missing the train as it pulls away from the platform...every single day.

Today's baby name suggestions

Griffin: boy will be sonic (zoom) and a girl will be king
Paisley: the baby's name will be waddabel for a girl and explode for a boy

Baby bargains bonanza and aldis

Today was bargain day! I found snow pants that will easily last two years for griffin, snow boots for the girl, 10 pairs of practicallybrand new grunts for the boy next size up, a stack of books, some thick tights for the girl, a couple cute clothes items for the girl, and some brand new gender neutral stuffs for baby.....for $25

Then went to Aldiss for the first time and scored lots of fresh stuff and some pumpkin and some pasta and some other random needed things for $20

Deals!! Woot.

My five

The sun shining
Baby kicks
Visiting a friends new baby
Walking twice to/from school
Park with friends after school


Oh and a sixth...grey's night!!!

Shit storm

Today felt like just that. I tried beginning the day with some positive intention and a good outlook but well, it just sort of did not work. Without going into much detail basically a good portion of my income is being messed with. I should know better than to trust it and in the big picture it is a learning lesson. I am just kicking my feet right now....full on tantrum, through the tears. Blah.

Through it all I felt the baby kick more than I have ever....gave me some sort of reassurance that life is more than this shit storm or thenext but man....for all the bad in the world you sometimes have to wonder why stupid, bad shit happens to the good guys., not just me included.

I lie here tonight promising to breathe, to wake up refreshed and to look at tomorrow as a gift. It is all I can do or I might never leave the bed again.....


Exhausted for now.

Baby naming with kids

Is hysterical work. Griffin says the baby should be named Norris griffin Norris for a boy and sparkle for a girl. Later he told me that David was a nice name too....so, David carroll griffin norris was his suggestion. Haha. Paisley typically nixes everything we suggest and gives her own suggestions of neh-neh or ju-ju.

We are making a list and needless to say none of their suggestions are on it.

16 weeks

Plus a day but I had my appointment today. All is going well, measuring on track and heartbeat heard! I love my midwife appointments. They are like therapy sessions with pre-natal care. Plus I got to run into an old friend who is also 16 weeks pregnant!! What fun. Then I roamed around the health food store over there...bought some essential oils, coconut water, and some veggies.

Now griffin is chilling while I pit my feet up. Such a beautiful day here in ohio.

Hurt Feelings

I can blame the hormones, right? man. So sensitive today. I totally let a patient get to me and about the worst topic ever...money. I try hard to 1) separate myself from it and 2) do quality work so that paying me is a no brainer and 3) keeping all the balls in the air. i likely fail at that last one the most and this is how it bit me in the butt today....really, though, I should focus on all the good today. After I type this I promise to do so...but really, I just need to get out the cranky hurt feelings.

ok, better. moving forward.

My family does not want me to sleep

Just as I have gotten Paisley to sleep through the night, by herself, in her bed.....the rest of them have broken down. Well, Lee hasn't but he has still woken me up or kept me up after the others have kept me up.

The dog. Not sure what her problem is and I am trying to be patient with her but really? she woke me the other night to alert me she had pooped in the house. yeah, I stepped in it. It sucked. I was beyond irritated. Then I could not sleep because of the snore monster.

Griffin. Poor boy. He is processing/developing something. It is so deep in there he cannot express it verbally but he is just not himself these days. Crying more, bed wetting again, waking at night, and picking on his sister excessively. I am taking him in today for some reiki/homeopathic work. I hope it helps. Because I need to sleep. I am a grouch monster when I don't....grrrrr.

Falling Asleep with Paisley

I suddenly have perspective on this situation with Paisley. She has successfully stayed in her bed for 11 nights! She has woken up three times for water or to ask to come to bed but she has gone back with a little help to her own bed. This makes me MUCH more patient at bedtime.

I have been lying with her, rubbing her legs, arms, back, and head as she requests. Watching her fall asleep quite easily and peacefully. She breathes so deep still just as she did as a babe. Her little chubby cheeks still red from the day but she is relaxed fully. It is becoming the best time of day.....

it helps too knowing I won't see her again until a.m. :)

Griffin hysterics this a.m. on walk to school

When he is an adult he is going to play a little wii but not all the time. And he will come visit me but just play the wii a little bit when visiting...he will talk to me too. so I should not worry.

He says it might be hard for him to find a wife because not everyone will want to do it. but don't worry, he will adopt kids by himself if he has to and he will bring them to visit with me and dad.

And he might live in lakewood and he might move to florida because it is his choice. and It will be his choice to choose a house. He might choose our house or he might choose a different one, he is not sure yet.

He will have lots of choices when he is an adult but he won't think about them too much because it will make the choice harder (quite insightful really).

This kid kills me. It was a great walk to school.

Shopping crazy day

We had lots on the needs list and it was growing so I felt it was time to do some shopping to see how many we could get checked off the list and for as inexpensive as possible (these are items I am no longer willing to buy 2nd hand)

We got:
A toilet auger
Lees dry cleaning which is like buying a new wardrobe
Griffin a hat for snow
Paisley leggings
Both kids fall/spring coats
Griffin nice winter coat likely good for two years and lifetime warranty
Lee 2 pairs jeans for work
New cardigan for work
Me some maternity clothes
Me three new pairs shoes (2 sneaks, one flip flop to replace falling apart ones)
New dog bed that she is currently lying next to not on top of


Price paid $600.....blergh but we are set for winter sans snow pants for griffin, sneakers for paisley come spring, and some odds and ends

Long week complete

Pretty sure I just dragged my self through this week. So glad to be relaxing in bed this a.m.!

The kids are watching inspector gadget on Netflix...singing to the intro song each time it comes on. I love weekends!

It does seem paisley woke with a cold this a.m. Yuck! She is much less miserable than I was and she is usually the one leastaffectedby illness so I will take it.

Lots to consider this weekend as far as plans.....saw Julie Strick last night. Hi Julie. Today is errands and some shopping needed. Then maybe ingenuity festival? Tomorrow is browns game and then gathering with aunt Bonnie and the other norris crew.....over at the giblets. I bet it will be fun...the kids really get a long well.

Best part of working while pregnant

I am never alone on paperwork days. Just tackling a big list today and the baby is fluttering away every once in awhile. I love it! ok, now back to work.

Paisley

She is quick approaching 4 years old! It is hard to believe but really it could not come soon enough. 3 is rough in these parts and with Griffin 4 was magical relief of that...I hope it to be true for Paisley as well.

With that said she is still so so sweet and kind and caring for all members of the family. She always wants to be involved...helping with any chore, meal making, cleaning up, etc. She is my helper!

we are working on her sleeping in her own bed. Guess what daddy promised if she does it 5 nights in a row? A pillow pet. The girl is soooo excited. and she thinks Griffin should get one too so she is bargaining for why he deserves one too. haha.

Her speech is worlds ahead of the boy at this age but we still have deciphering issues.

smoothie comes out movie (very confusing when both are requested frequently)
silly comes out scary (bad when she calls her grandma silly-ha)
tree comes out free
three comes out free (funny when she says she is three)

She LOVES to paint, draw, practice her writing and numbers, read with us and to her baby dolls, play in her kitchen, and generally be silly. She is incredibly good at the computer and video games too...amazes me how good. I think she is going to rock at the big sister thing and also the middle child thing!

love you baby pais...soon we won't be able to call you that but I still like that nickname.

Griffin funnies

This kid often comes up with some of the best......

His car seat is in the far back of the van, I told him I wanted to move back to the middle. He asked why? I said because my belly was going to get bigger and it would be hard for me to crawl back there. He quietly thought and said "mom I want to stay home when you have the baby or maybe just be at school. Yeah have it while I am at school. And when will your belly go back to normal? Can I live somewhere else until that happens?". Ok, then. We shall see how that pans out.

In talking to his sister about the new baby...."paisley you don't get to choose. It is natural that way. It is either a boy or a girl....you don't get to choose. It is just natural."

In discussing "instinct" with him my mom exlained that his instinct would take over and he would be nice to palsy if she was in trouble. He balked so I reminded him that when she was 18 months old and he was 4 (so two years ago) I stepped away from the tub for a second, paisley fell over, and griffin pulled her out of the water and to safety....that was instinct. He said "I think I should get a reward or a treat for that.". Bwahahahahaha

I taught him to do the python muscle joke.....haha. I was cracking up when he delivered it perfectly without hesitation.

14 week belly shot

and I seem huge because I am bloated as all get out. I know third baby and all but really? woh. I promise I am not even sticking my belly out....not that I can really try to suck it in anymore. luckily my shirts are mostly still hiding this bump but my friend says i look like I am hiding a turtle shell under there if looking at me straight on. haha.

Worst case scenario....thankfully this is as bad as it's gotten

I always thought it w as terrible to get sick. Then after marriage it was worse if he got sick and even worse if I got sick while he was sick. Then came baby and well baby sick was bad but baby sick and husband sick was really bad and me sick while baby and husband sick...woh...just awful. Then came sick kid while pregnant...do you see where this is going? Haha. Luckily for me this time around it was just me sick while pregnant...all the rest of those fools? Business as usual. And now that it has passed and I am less miserable I realize it all could be a lot worse......


Spoke too soon...miserable again today. Tylenol is my friend.

Gloomy thursday

It has sprinkled all day altho we were still able to walk both directions. Now it is pouring. Glad they were able to start scraping the house today before the rain began. My head is killing me from the weather pressure. Where are my vitamins?

We were supposed to go to a family kickball game this evening...guess that is not going to happen. Haha.

Pretty boring day all around. I wanted to start organizing a bit in baby prep but that involves the basement ANSI am just not over the mice quite yet. We will be lucky to get clean clothes this week. Haha.

Labor day weekend catch up

My parents were in town this past weekend and we were busy as usual. I think we managed more fun than usual though which was great. Saturday included a canoe trip with Mark and kelly. It was a quiet, slow river but gorgeous. I had a blast! Sunday we grilled out and even though it was drizzly it was also a great time! Lots of yummy food and good company. Oh, and we bought new couches...to be delivered on 9/13/11! woot.

I caught up on life yesterday and am back at the grind today. So far, a grey morning has brought many cancellations and a no-show. NOT a great start to this morning. blah. Gotta turn my mood around though, not worth wallowing in it.

Only other news really is we have mice again. Caught 6 so far :( The kids are fascinated with this process and have helped in placing the traps (picking good spots) and also finding the dead mice. I find this morbid but also educational. I just hope this works. i cannot handle an infestation like we had once before. OMGoodness, no.

Felt little baby flutters....very random, very slight, every couple days. Just over 13 weeks now. Very exciting!

Could barely keep my eyes open but....

We still had a good Thursday off. Some laundry, a playdate, two walks for school, sunshine, lunch together, a little rest (altho no sleep), bathed the girlie, and kept her entertained. My parents arrive very soon and we are going out to deweys for dinner....yum!

Tomorrow is a short day at work and then a long weekend. Woot! I need a little break so I am pretty psyched. Yesterday wore me out...hello 12 hour day. Ended the month with a bang which was awesome...best month ever...hope it continues. That is a nice turn for this year. I am thinking the move was a positive :)

Oh sleep, where are you?

Paisley will not stop coming to our bed at night. This makes for some very disrupted and crowded sleeping. Ugh. I am so tired each and every morning. I know she is the cause because on the rare day she does not come in I wake refreshed. Sigh. I would try to stop her but I am sleeping so I don't realize until morning she is there sully. I don't know what to do. It is getting to be more than I want to handle and yet I know she is still little so I try to be patient. We discuss this with her and she knows our expectation. She is afraid at night...trains, dark, griffin making noises that sound like he is going to eat her, being alone. This too shall pass....for now I will drink a chai.

The big announcement

It's official! I am pregnant. 12w2d today! Went for my first visit and got to hear the heartbeat. Yay! Now read up as I am posting all my secret posts from the last 10 weeks.

Today is monday 29th

which means tomorrow is Tuesday 30th!! which means it is my mid-wife appointment!! yippee. I am sooooo excited and of course still nervous. I will be in touch tomorrow to let everyone know how it is going and then of course for the big announcement. I know you are so excited and don't even know it. hee hee.

Weight

I really try hard not to care too much about weight, pregnant or not. If my clothes fit and I feel good I am happy...of course typically if those things are happening I am around the same weight. So the last few days my clothes are not fitting and I am noticing a lot more roundness to my abdomen. I know this is nott "baby" yet but it is rather baby and fluid pushing everything else up and out...but I decided to step on the scale tonight. BIG mistake! I did jot like what I saw. Woh. Considering how sick I was and barely eating I am quite shocked. Oh well. All in the name of baby. There is not much I can do as I am active and eating well and my body the past two times gained the same even tho it was vastly different process. Ugh. My rant for the day.

one week...

one more week until my first appointment. I am sooooo excited and yet, still anxious. I just need to keep breathing and have faith all will be ok. I hope next week at this time I am shouting from the rooftops....."I'm pregnant." It will be an exciting day.

FIRST DAY FIRST GRADE

I walked Griffin to school today. I was not sad but it is so strange. The years pass and my little guy is turning into a big guy. He still "needs" me and I cherish that all the time. He blew a kiss to me too which just about made me well up but I held it together. He is a sweet soul (even through all his making his sister miserable). I do believe he is in first grade but it is the next year and the next and the next that have me a little concerned right now. I will just, for now, take one day at a time....

A better day

I did a LOT yesterday to make up for feeling so cruddy the few days before. I was expecting to pay for it today but sans a little food aversion, very mild nausea, and some mid day exhaustion I felt pretty good. Please let this be the norm....please.

Helping spread the news

A friend of mine found out she was pregnant and wanted to tell her hubby in a fun way. He just so happened to be coming to my office so she asked me to be involved. I agreed! What fun.

We made up one of my forms patients have to sign at times and part way down I included the line "baby 2.0 downloading in about nine months". She was hiding in the back with their son...I gave him the form, asked him to fill it out and excused myself. She knocked and went back in. It was quite fun and although I think he enjoyed it he was a little shocked. He also told me (jokingly) "I no longer can trust you as my doctor.". It was fun and probably the coolest thing I have gotten to partake in at the office!! At least along those ideas.

Tricky tricky baby

I have been feeling great. So much so that Tuesday I went hiking and worked all day Wednesday with little problem (minus some achey feet), and Thursday I weeded for an hour and then went to the beach that afternoon. This is when feeling good ended and I have felt awful since.....headache, exhaustion, and the return of nausea. The headache is gone but lasted a full evening and sleep. The nausea is awful...hungry and then everything makes me Ill. So, yeah, it was really stupid of me to slow cook pork today.....smelling it all day was this weird mix of "yum!" and "barf!"

Ugh....I hope tomorrow is better. I have just been taxkling small projects since that is what I can manage...paper de littering, organizing pens, getting prepped for the school paper onslaught. Griffin begins first grade on Tuesday! He is not psyched. I am though because he is driving me nits. I love the kid but my tolerance is low.

10 weeks

I started the day tired and am ending the day tired. Haha. I looked through a few old blog entries from the beginning of paisley's pregnancy and it really helped calm me....until I had a great day with no nausea, no headache, decent energy, and well very little "pregnancy" signs....then whammo right back at paranoia. Lol. Such is life. I look preggo though...ok, I look chubby, but it is there. And the fatigue..it is there for sure but today during the day it was in the background.

Griffin goes back to school in one week. My first appointment is in two weeks. I am excited about both but trying to just live life and not rush anything. So we went to the woods today with w,l, and e. It was so fun and after we went to goodwill! Also lots of fun. I began replacing my pots with stainless and my Teflon bakeware with glass. I still want some enamel coated cast iron but that is too heavy for all of it.

What else is new? Not much. I think that is enough...

Thursday off

Today is so far going very well. I slept really long and pretty well last night. Then a long funplaymatee this a.m. Including a bounce house!

Now I am lying in bed while the kids play wii. The wind is blowing the curtains and I can feel the sun's warmth too. Gorgeous. I will just rest here until I no longer want to puke...haha. Yeah right. But really today is going well. Looks like it will proceed like most days getting a little tougher to "stomach" as it progresses. Such is life.

I am heading towards 10 weeks! I am so excited and yet sooo nervous about my first appointment. I just want to hear a atrong heartbeat! I do not know why this time my faith is being challenged so much. My body knows how to do this and by all evidence IS doing this.

We have started talking names...such a fun part!

Off to sleepy.....

waiting to tell

This time around I had planned to tell everyone and anyone right away just like the last times....but then I had some significant spotting at weeks 5-6. It freaked me out...it still does in fact even though it has been gone for weeks. So I just wanted to wait to hear the heart beat before telling everyone....involving all, etc. Not sure why but it just felt right. So since I usually see a midwife for my pregnancy it is common to not see them until 12 weeks....so I wait....and wait. less than 3 weeks now and then hopefully i will feel better about telling people. So, please don't be mad...it is just my own paranoia this time that has prevented my openness. I promise, nothing else.

sleepy

apparently 10 hours of sleep on top of a nap is just not enough. This kid is taking the need for sleep seriously. haha. I slept in late yesterday and then napped a little and then went to bed at a decent hour. This morning...yawn city. oh well. Hope I can get some jazziness to my day.

On a food note, NOTHING but fruit. That is all I can stomach at any given moment so packing lunch is really difficult. Nothing sounds good at 8 a.m. and then I am hungry at lunch and nothingn sounds good. So today i packed a bunch of fruit and will eat that and then see if I can get a craving for something else.

I know this nausea could be worse but it is seriously getting old. I just hope it goes away quicker than with Paisley (lasted nearly 20 weeks). With Griffin it was magically gone around 10 weeks. i will take a compromise of 12-13 weeks :) So far there is a strange combination of the two pregnancies...I guess just to throw this mom into having no gut instinct for gender. haha. We are still undecided about finding out....such the debate. I mean, we have one of each already so it really does not matter but it is so fun finding out mid way through. Plus I think it could help the kids? or is that rationalization?

I guess I should get to work...I have an intern for just a few more days. man that has been perfect timing..she does a lot of the work for me and then I just come adjust. It has helped a lot. The irony is she is 9 months pregnant. We are like 1 doctor put together at this point ;)

Another lazy tuesday

Most of the time Tuesday's are my paperwork day at the office. In the beginning of summer I dragged griffin to work with me and tortured him ith sitting there while I worked. He was actually very good but it was hardly fair to him. Then there were several Tuesday's that he was not around so I worked by myself...long days and got a lot accomplished. The past few though have included a lot of lying around. I am just not up for much. Today I plan to rest and then do some chores and then a little running around and follow that up with a long afternoon nap. Luckily griffin is content playing super Mario brothers for hours...sadly this is not giving me mother of the year anytime soon. Haha. A few more weeks and he is backtoschool and I am back to work...altho I may still steal a nap after school.

Sick sick sick

Blah. The last two days I have not woken up wanting to puke but typically by the dinner hour I am miserable. I think it is waning or I just hope because this is the part I never want to think about or remember but I really should so I never have the desire to do this again.

Another headache...and worse.

Today another headache.....it finally got better by the evening but dear lord...that was awful. Thankfully griffin had just left and paisley just played all afternoon by herself. And I laid in bed again on my day off. Ugh.

Headache from hell

Yesterday I had one of the worst headaches I have ever had. I could not do a thing. I was so grateful sandy took the kids for a bit because I just laid in bed wanting to die. I am assuming this is from hormones but??? Who knows.

The day we found out

Today we are leaving for new York city to visit Meghan, auntie Meghan, and my new doggie nephew Otto. I was suspicious from Earlier in the week with the increased tenderness of my breasts but I wanted to confirm before heading to the city...figured vacation is a good resin to drink, eat awful things, and do other terrible things but I would want to avoid at least the alcohol if my suspicions were true.

And I was right. Two lines...about two minutes into my wait. Woh. No matter how many times (three) this happens it is still pretty surreal. And exciting. And I will admit this time even a bit making me freak out.

So there you have it. The day we found out our third child was on their way.

Muscle Saturday

Today was super busy but really great. First I helped friends move. I had offered just 2 hours but ended up staying for 4. Then we laid 2 yards of mulch in the yard, trimmed all the bushes, picked up dog poo, and mowed the yard. OUCH! I am not sure I will be able to move tomorrow. haha.

I was feeling pretty energetic but think I might have overdone it. Tomorrow I plan to cook a bit and then maybe plant my veggie garden if I have energy. We shall see. Thankfully there is also monday if either the weather or energy does not cooperate tomorrow!

Tonight? couch and beer. Tomorrow night? dinner with the SIL/BIL! We are finally going to have easter dinner together which is really just an excuse to eat the ham we bought. haha.

Vacation!!!

whoop whoop. best thing ever! haha. yahoo. woot. I am going on vacation :) that's all.

Book Recommendation

I am reading The Four Agreements and highly recommend it. Easy read, inexpensive purchase. It is changing my world even though it is really common sense. I am bringing it on vacation for all to peruse if desired :)

Lent Begins

I am far from a practicing catholic. I rarely even consider myself catholic anymore but it does still come out naturally as an "identifier" when people ask....did you grow up in a church? "yes, catholic." are you catholic? "yes, I am." Strange but easier than getting "into it". The older I get the more personal I find faith and spirituality to be which leads me further from the building and closer to my internal path.

anywho, today begins Lent. many will give something up. I want to participate but for different reasons. I enjoy the sacrifice, the willpower to get through something, the comrarderie (cannot spell this word) of many I know as they sacrifice too, and the generally accomplishment felt from what is learned in the process. So, 40 days....I shall pledge to 10 minutes of solitude daily and to yell less in general, mostly towards my children. Hoping the solitude will help in the yelling less. It is going to be HARD as I have already been trying this and finding/making the time is hard....BUT....we are going on vacation so i think that will be a good place to start.

Swimming Lessons

The kids are in their second session of swimming lessons right now and I think really enjoying it. Paisley is a natural lover of the water and tools around with her bubble on without a care in the world! Griffin has been much more cautious but he is really making some strides the last two classes..I think he will swim easily unassisted by summer's end. I think that is one of the coolest feelings and I really hope he enjoys it too.

Changes are coming...

and no I am not pregnant, thinking about getting pregnant, or even hoping for it. haha.

Some crazy but good stuff with work...more to come but it is keeping me very busy.

I am loving this inspiration room

Hungry again

I know it is because I am stressed but blah. stinks.

Today:

smoothie
green tea
orange
lentils, rice with veggies goulash (what I am calling it)
cuke and avocado salad
smoothie
dinner out at The Root (probably get lentil soup and big spinach salad)

More Food on Cleanse

Day 5

smoothie
curry, honey lentils
baked apple from Lisa
sweet potato fries
pineapple
fell asleep with kids so no more food :(

Day 6

smoothie
lettuce wraps-lentils, brown/wild rice, peppers, green onion, red cabbage, homemade dressing
curry
raw cucumber
smoothie
orange
stuffed peppers
mashed cauliflower

Day 7

smoothie
green tea
lentils and rice with veggeies
salad
lentil soup with veggies
orange
red pepper strips
grapes
more lentil soup
curry
more green tea

(now realize why I was not hungry today...ate too many lentils/rice--haha...it felt good to be full)

Home late so tomorrow should be interesting...gonna have to purchase food out.

Tracking Cleanse Food

Day 2

smoothie
roasted veggies
lentil soup
fresh veggies raw
pineapple, blueberries, and grapes raw
green tea (3 cups)
smoothie
more soup with rice added


Day 3

smoothie
spinach and mushrooms with brown rice and lentils, salt, pepper
fresh veggies
salad with basil
cauliflower mash
zucchini pasta with fresh marinara
smoothie
blueberries
orange

Day 4 (I was soooo hungry today, ravenous)

smoothie
green tea
roasted veggies with lentils and rice at 10 a.m.
Stuffed peppers with mushrooms, tomatoes, cilantro, peppers, and rice
smoothie
lentil soup with extra lentils and rice (did I mention I was hungry)
sweet potato fries
salad with tomatoes, cukes, basil, and balsamic vinegar, olive oil

Day 5 plan

smoothie
veggie curry
honey lentil bake
smoothie
snacks?

Griffin and J

So Griffin has hung with J now two days. He has one more day on friday alone with her before she starts with paisley next week. We set it up this way so he really had ownership of her and their relationship separate from Paisley. I think that is working! Yesterday he told me "I am getting used to her" with a big smile on his face. In Griffin's world that is about as good as it can get...he is pretty hesitant with handing out large compliments. lol.

Lee said that Paisley asked on their way home "when is my turn with J?" haha. So I think in our short experience she is a winner.

I have not given her instruction on what to do in the house but yesteray I left some dishes in the sink. She washed them. Griffin had also tracked mud (dried) through the house that morning and she vacuumed it up. I was pretty thrilled. Lee is happy he does not feel this crushing pressure to be home on time. Sure that is still his goal but we are dealing with a person who can make her own independent decisions and we have already discussed his possibility at times to call and be running late....exception, not the rule.

We are thrilled.

Aaaaah cleanse

Now I am sure I will continue ups and downs but man, that was a great night's sleep. I had a really rough day yesterday with headache and feeling lousy but I powered through and looks like I might be coming out on top the detox train :)

I LOVE the sleep I get while on this purifcation typically. It is insanely deep and I wake so rested. Amazing. I have in the past equated it to dairy, or lack thereof while cleansing but maybe it is my liver really? I don't know. I am not one to wake in the middle of the night or even have trouble falling asleep. I also would not say I feel unrested typically....but it is all just that much better while cleansing. I hope tonight is a repeat!

Liver Hour

On traditional eastern medical charts they will often associate the organs with certain times of the day. I have never experienced this although I have seen patients who have or have reported this phenomenon. The Liver is associated with the middle of the night, usually 2-4 a.m. and man did I have a visit from the Liver last night. Ugh. I am on day 2 of detox and my body was seriously working it last night. I woke with itchy legs and I mean itchy around 2:30 a.m. I tried to just scratch and go back to sleep but no go. I thrashed with the itches for nearly an hour and then finally got up to pee and put lotion on. The lotion really did not help but it made me think it did. I thrashed for at least another hour until I fell back asleep...THEN I slept HARD for 3 more hours making us very late this a.m. Weird stuff happening but at least I am doing it, right?

This a.m. smoothie and green tea. I am hungry and slightly headachey. I think it is in part sleep deprivation though.

you can read about the liver hour and other associated organs with times here.

http://www.astrodreamadvisor.com/Qi-Cycle.html
http://www.alchemycalpages.com/heal10.html

Day 1 cleanse

I won't bore the audience everyday with my menu but wanted to track a few days for my own help.

Smoothie
orange
roasted veggies with 1/2 cup brown rice, salt, pepper
red peppers cut up (raw), grapes
spicy tomato lentil soup
smoothie
mushrooms with spinach sautee, salt, pepper, little butter
couple more grapes
bites of cucumber and tomato

and a shit ton of supplements. haha. Off to bed. I made lentil salad, cut up veggies, and roasted veggies for tomorrow. still have the soup too. I might eat it for breakfast.


Today was not a great day but not because of the cleanse. I actually felt great regarding my body all day. Around 5 pm. started to notice a dull headache..maybe dehydration, maybe caffeine withdrawal. Still dull right now..sleep!

Food For Tomorrow

Just made spicy tomato/lentil soup; roasted veggies (onion, carrot, cauliflower, kale) with brown rice; cut up veggies for snack; washed grapes. Add the smoothies and we should be good. I am sure we will be hungry though....lol. such is day one.

Happy Birthday Hubby!

MLK day AND my husband's birthday! What a great day. I worked and so did he but we did get together with family this evening for pizza, beer, and ice cream cake. It was impromptu which is the best kind of gathering in my opinion. Happy Birthday Lee!

The sitter thang went well today. Griffin seemed pretty warmed up to her at the end of the day and happy to have spent the day at home. He really can be a homebody. I think she mostly read her kindle and played puzzle games but eh, whatev, at least she was taking care of the kiddo.

Tomorrow we begin the cleanse. My parents are a week ahead of us and just as predicted last week I am jealous of that fact this week. lol. oh well, we just could not get started until tomorrow given the bachelor party and birthday. I am excited and nervous and in need of making food to prep. Sometimes I wish it was just the pills and not the food, but the food is really the best part.

Another weekend

Lots going on but mostly same ol same ol. Lee bachelor partied his brother this weekend so I was single parenting it. We did story time, then costco, then Paisley went to MIL's house for a few hours, I cleaned while Griffin played Pokemon, a friend visited, and then bedtime. Today was lazy followed by a few errands and piddling around the house. We were finally able to get Griffin to Target to pick up some legos from Auntie Meghan, a christmas present. He loves them! I "think" I am ready for the sitter tomorrow. I am not sure why I am so nervous....we have had people in our house before. I think it is just that she will be here more than just tomorrow and I feel like certain things need to be set from the beginning, for both parties. So, the house looks good, things are in order...here's to hoping she can help assist us on staying on that plan. I am exhausted...off to bed.

The Interwebs World

Blogs are a strange thing. You might know the author. You might know someone who knows the author. You might feel like you know the author because you have followed them for so long. You might not remember how you started following said blog because it has been so long. You might follow a link from a blog that leads to another blog that links to another blog, etc. until you find yourself reading really strange stuff that is not at all familiar or your "type" but still interesting. Weird stuff. Anyhow, I love it and it does consume my time once inawhile. I love my google reader though because they can sit there and I can always come back to them if needed.

Last night I was doing some reading and came across a post from a blog I have followed for a long time. I don't remember how I started. The author is not really someone I would follow for obvious reasons, ie. we don't have much in common on the surface but I really like her writing and so I keep reading. Something intrigues me about her and her life and so I keep reading. Maybe it is because she is from the south (I do have a special place for KY and TN). Maybe it is because she has all girls. Maybe it is because she has a quick sense of humor. I don't know but at any rate...last night she led me to a blog friend of her who had a stroke. Joanne's blog is being updated now by her husband. I have actually read Joanne's blog before several times via Angie (aforementioned). It is so surreal reading about this young mom lying in a hospital bed now fighting for her life. I don't know what to think nor is it my place. I just have said some prayers and am keeping a vigil in a sense. If you have any spare thoughts or prayers, please send them to this family...I am sure they could be used.

http://thesimplewife.typepad.com/

Life really is too short. Many in my "world" hurting at the moment. Many in my "world" hurting over the last several years. I am finding it oddly comforting to be reminded of this cycle of life. It is painful. It is not fair. But it is our human existence in full force. I hope to continue to not take that for granted.

Strange Day

I think I needed a little bit of a lazy day but that was not my plan this a.m. I got out the door on time, got Griffin to school, took Paisley to the grocery store, ran the groceries home, and went to play group. Play group was fun, I socialized and P played, then we came home...this is where things went to pot. I should have cleaned, tidied, piddled, fed us a decent lunch, and possibly napped our child. Instead I talked on the phone with my dad and then Kelly for 2 hours. Then I rushed to do some dishes and rushed to pick up Griffin. After arriving back home I was just exhausted, the kind where you cannot even keep your eyes open. I thought if I just sat in bed reading some blogs I would refresh and be able to tackle dinner, tidying, laundry......

nope.

I napped instead. Paisley did too. and I ignored Griffin :( and he scavenged food which means he ate 3 applesauces and some cheese (while the dog at the rest of the bag of cheese). When I woke up I was crabby and disoriented. The rest of the evening was just weird and disjointed. I did not really eat dinner but did feed the children. They went to bed late and now I sit pretty wide awake due to the nap. Weird day but maybe I needed it?

60, 33, 30, 60

The ages my family (immediate growing up family) will turn this year. How each year I look forward to celebrating. How this year in particular I look forward to celebrating with each of them because these are BIG years. How each year I take for granted we will reach those days together. Not trying to be all cynical and weepy and ridiculous but for real. This is big time awesome! My dad turns 60 next month. My sister turns 30 in June. My mom 60 in November! and for that matter my MIL 60 in May. They all would not like me talking about this on my blog but I don't care (hee hee). I am excited to look forward to these events....to plan celebrations on the days and around the days. To think about what I might find for them as a token of my happiness for them. it is going to be a great year filled with many celebrations...birthdays, weddings, what else? I can only hope it is mostly a joyous year for this family but I am going to have faith that whatever this year deals us, we are going to be there for each other. We will protect one and other. We will love one and other. and if for some reason we don't make it to these events, that is ok. This is the life we live as humans. It is not forever. It is not protected. It is not innocent. I must not and will not wallow in the anxiety of worry. I cannot control it. All I can do is live each day to the fullest. and that is what I plan to do. That and pray.

do I sound like a lunatic yet? I promise I am not . Just introspective and tired. goodnight.

Is it snowy enough for you?

Nothing like waking up to a snow covered world, right? How about waking up to a snow covered and FILLED minivan? Because that is what happened to us today. How, you ask? Yeah, the 5 y.o. and he feels really really bad. lol. He got ahold of my key which when pressed a certain way opens all the windows....all of them. all the way down. in a blizzard. overnight. OMG. it was not funny but I laughed all day long about it. Perspective is a beautiful thing some days and today was one of them. Shitty way to wake up but really pretty funny and harmless. I have my health again. The kids colds are mostly over. My parents are still alive. Both my grandmothers are living. I have friends. I have a house. I have a job I love. Life is good. And snow in a van? Pretty funny actually.

back to paperwork Tuesdays

Today I worked. I have not done that since last spring. It was good because I got a lot done but it was sad because there is still so much more to do. I have to remind myself that I am that much more ahead than I was this a.m. and not that somehow I am more behind. It just never makes sense. Aaaaaah! The piles never let up. Oh well, onto din din. I am making spaghetti squash for the first time. Hoping the kids like it and me too and maybe the hubby. People swear by it to me but I am not so sure yet. haha. Will report back.

The soup turned out good although very different than my usual..healthier though so that was my main objective.

Nanny

Don't think i will ever be able to actually call her "the nanny" but she is more than a babysitter in my opinion. I don't know but her name begins with a J and we like her quite a bit. She starts next week with Griffin...I want to give them some time to bond just the two of them and he is off school two full days next week so that is a great start. Then the following week she will just have Paisley during the day and then pick up Griffin after school. I am nervous and mapping out how everything will play out but in reality I know it will be great. I will keep you posted on more details of how that is working out.

Boring Weekend

That is what happens when you spend all weekend in continuing education classes. I guess we all benefited from the quiet though. The kids and Lee were able to do what they do when i am not around, ie. pillow fight, pretend princess/dragon/knight play, and hide n seek. There are not too many spots for a grown man to hide in our house so it is as hysterical as it sounds. I am still getting over my cold, Griffin is still hacking at night, and Miss P does not feel too great today. I just hope we can get well soon....sooooo tired of this.

Today I heard that a friend of the family growing up died. I had heard the other day he had a stroke and was in the hospital and it was not looking good for him to come out. I am so saddened for the family as the kids are all younger than me which means 20s. I know this is not little kid but I cannot help but think it is still way too young. This particular family is in my mind known as the smiley family...always had smiles...and goood ones. As a catholic attending church growing up regularly you got to know the other regulars and I was personally comforted in some weird way by seeing them each week, generally sitting in the same location, and behaving similarly each week. It was something I could relie on. yeah, the smiley family. My sister also dated the eldest boy and he is a sweetheart. Anyhow, life is precious and today I am reminded a little more clearly.

Off to make some broccoli chedder soup. Gonna wing the recipe so hope it turns out ok. haha. I just don't want to follow a recipe.

Paisley

My little housewife :) She loves her babies, cooking, cleaning, tidying, mommying, oh and crafting! She really is so busy all day long but in such detailed ways. I love it! She is always setting places at tables for her and her babies, putting them to bed, cleaning up after them, and showing them how to do things. Hysterical! Her art ability is great too and I love how creative she loves being, especially with her daddy by her side.

When she is not playing house or doing art, she is learning. Oh boy is she learning. I was always told that subsequent kids pick things up sooner because the first is doing school and is teaching them as well as the parents but it is amazing to watch. She loves to mimic writing and actually is forming letters with prompting. She can count to 11 and then sort of up to 20. She knows her ABCs although gets quiet when we sing together. She still loves to sing and dance and is often found doing this with her babies or alone. She just cracks me up with her songs she makes up.

Currently she is getting over some croup...blech. I called the doc today and had a great conversation with the nurse about what to look for but mostly it is just a waiting game for her to get healthier....she is a strong little girlie and barely is acting ill, just an awful barking cough. Cannot wait to see what 2011 brings for her....such a fun age albeit trying since she wants to do everything herself! Gotta keep an eye on that one. haha.

Griffin

My growing tall boy. About a month ago I was hugging griffin and told him he felt thicker. We had the most hysterical lengthy conversation about what that meant...haha. Basically I told him that often right before he grew taller he would first thicken up in the middle. He was fascinated by this fact. And lo and behold he has certainly gotten taller. I am not sure how much I just know that certain times I notice more than others, like when he nuzzles into my armpit or I put my hand on his head while he is standing next to me. Guess I can't stop him from growing but wow, it continues to amaze me.

Griffin was back at school today after his 14 day christmas break! He was so happy to tell everyone that he had 14 days off!! haha. He spent a lot of that time playing a lot of different video games. He is a junkie. We worried about this for a few days, well, I did, but now we are trying to realize that more than controlling it we need to help him learn how to manage it, cope with it, moderate it....that approach is working much better. And he still prefers to be outside or playing with his friends than play games so I guess that is a plus.

Griffin still loves to give us a hard time with what he will or won't eat but he continues to be open if pressed. I am proud of him for learning about the body and understanding why his choices effect him. He is beginning to really get the knack of reading and I know it is full on around the corner...how exciting! I am hoping to get him in some swimming classes soon but I have to get my act together.

New Year, Old Reflections

Here I am in 2011 and it has been 6 weeks since my lost blog post. wow. Guess it was a busy season of holidays! Just after thanksgiving I realized we had a LOT to do before christmas so I put us on a tight schedule. Lee agreed to this but only if I promised not to do it for subsequent months. lol. I was pretty proud of what we got done this past month in the house, with the kids, and with work. And mostly I feel pretty low stress with it! woo hoo. And just like he predicted I am planning our next month of schedule...haha.

So, christmas was great! we had my parents in town and also my aunt and her family in from England! It was busy but very relaxing too. I did a lot of cooking and eating and lounging, got to watch several chick flicks, and we even went sledding! We got to spend time with the Norris side of the family too and we were all together over at the in laws on christmas to celebrate one last all living in cleveland before BIL and SIL are off to Florida. I am promising to not quite get upset about that part of the story.

As typical for the beginning of a new year I am reflecting on the year just passed and where I was last year at this point. I must say so far I am enjoying the here and now. I spent the first two days of the year ill with the flu and the next two catching up, still recovering, and working. But even with that I am in such a great place for me this year. I feel like this past year was such an amazing growth year for me personally. I spent much of this past year concentrating on family, working (oh working), and putting effort toward Allison. This has left me a little bit on the outs with some people in my life and closer to others. I never really understand how or why this happens but I have stopped really worrying about it and just living. It has been great for me. This may sound ruthless or not compassionate but really I feel like it is just me growing up, learning the boundaries I need in my life, and me figuring out what helps me, Allison, be a better person.

A lot of this past year was positive even in some of the most trying times Lee and I have faced together, unemployment preceded by job uncertainty and followed up with job uncertainty. Regardless though I smiled so much more this year and I am happy to think that we must be doing something right if that is what I remember the most! Even though I smiled a lot I was barreling through some serious self discovery and often felt lonely. Normally I would equate lonely with being miserable and although I kept thinking I was miserable because I was lonely I really was not. I have had to come to realize that being lonely does not mean I am alone OR miserable. It has been odd to say the least but I am continuing to see the beauty in my new found strength in being alone in my thoughts, alone in my ideas at times, and alone in my actions. I of course always have the kids and Lee by my side but so much of what I am referring to is more on a personal level and less family related. Anyhow, maybe none of that makes sense and I am sorry if not, I am still working it out in my head I guess. lol.

I am happy that over this past year I reached new goals in my work (go me), survived Griffin starting Kindergarten, celebrated 7 years married to Lee, traveled with my immediate family several times, took a weekend alone with Lee (even if to a wedding), continued in therapy even when I wondered why?, finished some to dos on the house list and we are still working on it, stayed on a budget and still bought some nice things for ourselves, am talking to my sister more than I have in more recent years, did part of P90X (we will try again we promise), found my love of yoga (gotta get back to it), embraced what was natural and resisted what was not (make of that what you want), stuck to my mantra "don't wait", and listened to my doctor "less in the past, less in the future".

Gonna keep on living and see what this year has to offer.