I want my mommy

I am sick. I feel like death but am still at work because patients are scheduled. I hate this part of my job....of course going home won't be too much better this evening with two littles running around. Maybe they will be quiet. haha. yeah right.

Griffin Counting

In all our crafting this weekend there was a lot of lining up, counting, matching pairs, etc. It was a perfect lesson in unschooling ;) Griffin was really involved which was so fun to do with him. At some points I found myself losing focus on my parts because I was enthralled watching him methodically do his part. It was just so cool to see him using his brain, counting things out, and in a way being anal like I would be....lol. he is so often such a spazz with stuff that is interesting when I see him being so intentional...crafting, baking, and cooking really help him focus. I want to continue to keep this in mind and involve him in more of these more frequently.

In addition to just crafting we did some artwork. Griffin's artwork continues to improve as well as his focus. I LOVE it. I have always enjoyed doing projects like crafts and art but my talent is not that great. I love seeing Lee's talent seeped into our kids....it is great!

A weekend of crafting

We have been busy crafting all weekend and it has come together finally. We still have a few things to do this week but I am feeling very accomplished. Of course I can not discuss the items made since some people follow this blog that they are intended for but I will share later if I remember. haha.

I am just so excited at how interested Griffin and Paisley were in regards to the projects. I have high hopes for the future of getting them even more involved. The funniest part of it all is Griffin loved doing it all so much he wanted to keep everything we made. ha. We have explained many times this weekend about giving and how great it is to do. He is not quite buying it but I bet he will once we get to give AND get at the same time.

I take it back

So I totally spoke poorly of my children before the weekend and then they surprised me so I need to apologize :) They slept Very well all weekend and I am actually pretty well rested all things considered. Lee did wake me up 3 times on friday night but somehow that was still easier to manage than a little one waking me. and this a.m. I woke at 10 a.m. thinking Lee had let me sleep in....instead he had just not gotten up yet to wake me. The kids did not start bothering him really until 9:15. I think they must have entertained themselves in the playroom for a bit tho as some things were strewn about but man, I will take it. lol.

sleeping in on a weekday

they are doing it to us again. every single day we have to get up for something they sleep late and we have to drag them out of bed. tomorrow I will work and lee will be home and I am betting they will be up and at em at the crack. ha. I really hope not for lee's sake but seriously, why do they sleep during the week and not during the weekend? it is annoying to say the least.

a week until christmas. I am not overwhelmed but woh I have a lot to do still. I did make some final purchases yesterday on line but that is not everything unfortunately. I will finish that up at some point during our weekend of crafting :) we are gonna be busy but hoping the kids enjoy it enough to cooperate.

Great Day at home

I decided last night to just bag going out today on our day off. Normally we go out and about to play group, run errands, etc. The kids do enjoy it but I really think they also enjoy just a relaxing day at home with no agenda. Plus I really wanted to get them even healthier by just resting and being at home. It is working so far :) Griffin even slept until 9;15 a.m. Holy Crap!

I have felt much better since the other day when i posted. I know it could just be a "good" day but I have really been processing a lot and discovering some pretty profound things about myself. not all good but it is work and that makes me feel great.

We do have to go out in a few hours for our last cityfresh pick up. I am so excited to find out what we got for the winter share. It makes the anticipation for next year even that much more exciting! lol. only 6 more months. haha.

coming to the end of the year

and the office is pretty dead. I was feeling quite down about this today even though I know realistically this can wax and wane so i try hard not to put too much into one month....anyhow to cheer myself up I checked out my year totals from this year compared to last. I am on a 35% growth rate from last year with not much of an increase in overhead...that is awesome. It got me really thinking about money in general. This has been a theme of my thoughts this month and how very much I need to address my "issues" with money. I have control issues, I have associations issues, I have spending issues, I have hoarding issues, I have many many issues with money. At any rate, proof right here that I am doing well and yet it is still not enough. this is speaking volumes to me and I hope I am listening.

Griffin and school

Griffin is just blossoming in so many ways. He really really loves school, has friends, is learning to write his name very well, drawing people with limbs and other details more frequently, continuing to follow directions better and better and doing just like they want to see!! The best part is exactly as the director told us would happen before he began which is that at first Mom and Dad woudl be the center of his universe in everything he spoke of and then he would move to the kids at school adn finally he would move onto his teachers. We have seen this assimilation of his new "family" into his little heart and it is just great :) He is so proud of his class.

Today I was reminded by his old daycare provider of a great old Griffinism. "Mazzy dog, my dog, stands down. Mazzy dog is a boy and she stands down" We are pretty sure he was referring to when our dog, a girl, went to the bathroom in the yard but it was great fun figuring that out. lol. Love that kid.

HRrrr-Fin

That is not likely the best spelling but it is the best I can come up with for how Paisley now says Griffin's name. It is soooo stinking cute. I want desperately to find a voice recorder to get them both on tape. Oh it is just soooo cute especially when she says "Where's Hrrrr-Fin?" They are both really starting to identify with each other as siblings. They fight a decent amount but it is becoming less just banter and much more playful, figuring it out, etc. I am in awe of them. and when he hurts himself she goes and gives him kisses and when she gets hurt he apologizes unprompted (probably because he thinks he is going to get in trouble but who cares).

Tonight at the first bedtime (another post another day ;)) she told me that Daddy and HrrrFin picked her up from Grandma's (virginia's) house. She said, "Daddy, HrrrFin, pick up Baby. Grandama up Baby." she is getting so good at communicating. I love it.

Ok, I will admit it.

I am depressed. I keep trying to drag myself out of it but it is still there. Don't worry though...I am working on it. I just needed to put it out there so people (the few who read) know. It is many things, most of which I have very much under control and then the daily things in life (sick kids, stress of work, stress of lee's work, living tasks like feeding, cleaning, etc) all combined. I am trying hard and yet my mood is still stuck in blah land. I know I will get out of this though so stand by me and keep checking back. I will try to be better with writing.

My big girl :)

Took Paisley to her well check up for 2 years today!

She is 30.5 lb. (90%), 35 in. tall (75 %), and her head is 19 1/4 in diameter (big!). Doctor says she looks great, acts like a 2 year old, and is a lovely child. All and all a "normal" visit. I love our doctor. She is very reassuring and nice.

As for the 2 y.o. she is very much 2. lol. pretty much in anyway.

A couple days off

It is soooo glorious to have a few days off. I am loving every second. The kids have even let me get a bit extra sleep. Right now Lee is off with my mom getting fabric for christmas projects and my Dad is off buying the kids new bunkbed!! I am so excited for that as well. I am sitting on the couch with my kidlets and the dogs, watching Lilo and Stitch. I should probably feed them some lunch but the quiet really is just great. haha.

Happy Birthday Mom

Anonymous Mom's birthday is today ;) I won't divulge her age but I will tell you she looks damn great for it! We will celebrate later with spaghetti dinner and cake...yum.

Happy Birthday Mom!!

Following my intuition

Another thing I believe. I trust my gut. It is usually pretty good to me. The last few years though I feel like it has failed me in some particular instances. I am still noodling on that though. Because, really, is it my intuition failing me or is it me ignoring my intuition and thus me failing it? I don't know but I must figure this out because some of this shit is just getting ridiculous.

Regret

How much regret should one live with? I firmly live my life that the answer to that should be zero. Of course sometimes that is easier said than done. Today I heard news that an old friend from Heinens died saturday. I saw her son the week before and he told me it was nearing the end and she was in hospice. So much has been going on and the kids have been really hard at bedtime. I knew that if I was going to go it was going to have to be that evening. It did not happen. I did not make it happen. I just did not go. Now she is dead. I know logically it does not make a difference whether I went or not but I am still regretful. I am sad for my friend's family. Her youngest just turned 18 years old. He should be enjoying his senior year as student body president, preparing for college, thinking about prom and graduation. Instead he buried his mother today :(

RIP Virginia "Ginny" Gibbons.

Happy 2nd Birthday

Today is the day. She woke me at 6:45 a.m. BUT she slept through the night which rocked. By this point in that day I was already having pretty consistent contractions and my parents had arrived to watch over Griffin. I was still moving around the house, upstairs and downstairs, in and out of the tub, inside and outside. It was a smiley morning.

We will be celebrating tomorrow with cupcakes so today is just another day for her but I know :) haha.

Oh and she got her first present which she totally loved, a baby doll with all the fixins (bib, dish, bottle, sleeping bag, fork and spoon, and change of clothes. She LOVES it!

2 is harder than 1

Paisley turns 2 tomorrow. wow! It is really hard to believe. It seems my babes turning 2 is much harder on me than when they turn 1 like some people. 1 they are still such babies in my mind so it was easy to be delusional that they are growing up: heck they were barely or not walking, still nursing, not sleeping through the night, eating solids but barely, had just gotten their first teeth, were not talking...now at 2 she is so grown up. It is amazing to watch but I am sad :( I am looking forward to continuing to get to know this little girl and watch her and griffin share life as siblings in our family. It is truly a blessing.

We will be making monkey cupcakes on sunday with the kids in celebration and I think Tamara is taking the little princess out this evening for a auntie special time :) I am keeping it small for ease of life and ease on my sanity.

Parenting class

The last 5 weeks on thursday evening I have attended a parenting class hosted by The Family Man. Darnell is a very tall, built black man raised in the projects, played football in college, married since his mid 20s, has 3 boys (24, 22, and 15), is a social worker....I could go on and on but really he is just an amazingly kind soul with a lot of wisdom to share. I learned so much each week and will honestly be sad to not be going in the upcoming weeks. They are considering having another session after january 1st and I really hope they do because it worked so well with our schedule.

Some of the topics we touched on were about happy cup/sad cup, respect, who are we?, are we happy?, are we making our kids happy?, what is a family?, what is love?, love is time and time is money so does that mean love is money?.....

it was a great series. glad I participated.

Morning or Evening Cleaner?

I feel like the "adult" thing to do is go to bed with a clean kitchen, tidied play area, and crawl into a made bed. most evenings though I cannot peel myself off the couch to clean anything. So I have been tidying in the a.m. which is still something but it has gotten me thinking. When Lee and I did the cleanse i had soooo much energy. I could never pinpoint exactly why but it was great and it lasted beyond the cleanse for some time. Apparently it has stopped. So why? I need to noodle on that because it sure would be great to have that extra 0oomph to get us going smoothly into the next day.

Poop Jokes

Griffin now thinks these are hysterical. Like he grabs his belly and it wiggles as he laughs so hard. haha. He was told a poop joke this weekend by his friend Emaline and that went over well. Then today when i picked him up from school he told me he drew a poop worm. I asked him what that was and he replied, "a worm made of poop." and then he laughed hard. lmao.

Yes and No

how could I forget those words? She says them as well. Although Yes is much more like da or ja. she is a german baby.

paisley's words

Just wanted to jot down what I am remembering her saying currently:

Momma
Daddy
dog
ball
Gee (Griffin)
I can't see (for some reason this is said a lot)
Dora (sounds more like Or-uh)
Doggy (sounds like gawggy)
more
outside (side)
There it is! (Air it is)
Let's Go (Ey Go)
Stop
laughing laughing laughing (she doesn't say this she just does it a lot)
num num num for yum yum yum
Tamara (hard to write but she says something consistently)
Grammie (Gammy)
Grandpa (papa)
Kelly (elly)
Colette (ee-ette)
BABY (how could I forget this word?)
Cow (tow)
Sheep
Pig
Duck
Boat
Shoes
Toes
Eye
Blue
Pink

She does a lot of pointing and she knows so many more words, just she is a little timid about saying them. It is funny how she is afraid almost to say it wrong. She has kind of been like that with everything: crawling, walking, talking. She makes she has mastered it before she performs. lol. We are currently working on colors (she knows blue and sometimes pink), body parts, and noises the animals make. This kid loves books so it is very easy to teach her that way.

Future Channel 5 News Reporter?

So we went to Griffin's conference this a.m. and Miss Kathy had not a bad word to report :) She really relayed how much they are enjoying Griffin in their classroom and how much he is blossoming socially and intellectually. It was great to hear, of course. We see it too which is awesome!

Each morning they have circle time and they get to go around the circle and talk about what they did the day before, evening before, or over the weekend. Griffin always sits quietly listening and waiting for his turn. When it is his turn he tells them excitedly what he has to say and then he always ends, "and that is my news." haha. My little reporter.

The other cute thing she had to share was that he really enjoys the house corner. A few of the boys do along with most of the girls in the class. One day he tried on the play wedding dress and he and another little boy twirled in their dresses for some time, feeling the dress spinning around and the air flow up under it. She said she could tell how much he thought it was cool and it brought her back to that carefree time in childhood. awwww.

He is really enjoying drawing pictures. We have several to share from his most recent batch and suddenly all his people have arms, legs, hands and FEET! haha. our feet are the best. If i can figure it out I will scan and share. Along with drawing he likes to dictate the story to them so they will write it down.

At the beginning of the day Miss Tara does weather and the calendar with the kids and she had a pictures of vegetables she put up (I am not sure why but it sparked Griffin's story). Griffin said to her, "I love when my dad sign's up for vegetables because I LOVE Candy Corn." Oh dear. haha. I know he knows the difference but maybe we should refresh him on that. lol.

A new day

I woke up this a.m. to an almost 2 y.o. at my bedside at 5 a.m. I did not get to sleep until nearly midnight so that was NOT enough sleep. Oh well. I was able to lie in bed for another couple hours until suddenly a task popped into my head that i was pretty sure I had not accomplished and it had a deadline. I LOST it. and apparently unnecessarily because the deadline is actually next monday.

I feel so out of control. I am worried about my sister. I am worried about my family. I am scared for the future. I am angry. I am sad. I am mostly just blah. I know this will be a process but I don't want to do it.

Today is a new day though and I am going to not try to control my emotions. Instead I am going to channel them. I am going to push through them to feel them. I am going to begin to process. I will live today because I am pretty sure my sister will feel like she is not today. Maybe I am wrong on that last one, maybe.

Long nonproductive day

I did get some things done today so that is good but it was not my best performance. On to tomorrow. It is yet another day ahead of me and I am going to try for a better output on my part :) It is now late and I am watching the Browns lose miserably on monday night football. It is not important, really, but so often, usually when we are winning, it is so fun to be lost in a sports game. Now I am just thinking about how much I am dreading having tickets to three games in the month of december. brrrr. I am cold just thinking about it. haha.

Tonight Lee and I had a meeting with our finance guy. We bought life insurance which is kind of crazy. We are working on all those very adult things and it is weird. I am an adult. I have two kids. I have a husband. I am a doctor. I am a homeowner. We have two cars, one is a minivan. I mean, really? When did this dream world arrive. lol. I just think it is crazy how amazing my life is and yet I so often forget. I will work on remembering more often.

So we had the meeting and so Auntie Cramra (Tamara) watched the kids for us. I knew they would all have a blast together and they sure did. She also did a nice job of being auntie but not being taken advantage of :) SO, they were in bed and asleep by the time we got home. Yeah!

She said they were really great for her and she loved caring for them. That warms my heart so much. Griffin told her "you make me so happy Cramra". He is too sweet.

Tomorrow a.m. Lee and I have Griffins school conference. It is too funny to think of this as a part of our reality as a parent already. Where has the time gone that my boy is old enough for a conference? Wow.

Not a good night's rest

I could blame this on many things but I had a conversation with my grandmother once that taught me to not worry about why I did not sleep well and just move on with the day and then into the next night's sleep. That is a dramatic over simplification of the conversation but it will do for now. So I am tired today and my mind is a bit all over the place. I have this strong feeling of just not wanting to be HERE, right now. I need to work on that because I am here, right now. I want to crawl in bed for several days, pull the covers over my head, and just be but it will all be here after those several days so there would be nothing gained. Instead I plan to pour into work and home...work hard, play hard and keep my mind busy in other ways.

Mattress Expiring

I am beginning to think we need a new mattress. Ours is only 6 1/2 years old but I really think that I have been sleeping worse and worse and waking stiffer and stiffer over the last year. This has got to be the culprit. Ugh. Alas there are no monies for a new mattress and I had really hoped that when it was time to buy a new mattress we could not only afford to upgrade to a King but we would also have the room for one. Also not possible.

Hmmmm. Will have to start pricing them so we can save our pennies. Aaaah, to sleep comfortably again.

Just when I think I enjoy an age....

I have an evening like tonight. Sheesh. The boy is NOT cooperative tonight. I just don't get it. I even have felt present in the evening and made a nice tasty, healthy dinner. Whatever. I know it is just a rough evening but AAAAAAAAAh. and where is my husband? lol.

"I love you too Momma"

Such great words to hear and from my 2 y.o. no less. Awwww. She is just too sweet that girl. She and I love giving each other kisses, all over each other's heads and cheeks :) And I always tell her I love her and she is now saying it too. Love it.

My friend Andy

Griffin apparently has a friend at school named Andy. He is an actual kid but neither of us have met him yet. I think he either is another part timer or just comes at different times than we do. Anyhow, Griffin wants to invite him for a playdate. The conversation went something like this:

G: "Andy is coming over today. I need to set up my tent for our camp out."
Us: "Who is Andy?"
G: "My friend from school. He is coming over to my house. I asked him before nap time."
Us: "Well, that is great but that is not exactly the order of things. First you need to ask us, then we have to ask Andy's parents."
G: "Please can Andy come over to play?"
Us: "sure. why don't we write his parents a note so we can set up a playdate."
Griffin ran away at this point and came back downstairs with his tent, that he was setting up for the playdate that was apparently going to happen right then. Tears ensued as he did not understand why Andy was not coming over right then.

Us:"Ok. Here is the note. We will put it in his cubby tomorrow so he can give it to his parents."
G: "I want to put it in the mail. then he can get it from his mailbox."
Us: "We do not know his address or his last name so we have to give it to him at school."
G:"Otay."

Then later.
G:"Can Andy take a bath with me?"
Us: "Uh, no. "
G:"why not? He likes baths."
Lee:"Baths are for taking alone or with family only."
G:"why?"
Lee:"because you are with your privates and private stuff down there." (me laughing at the side)
G:"but why?"
Lee:"no, just because. you cannot take a bath with your friend. He can come over to play but no bath."

Then this a.m. very seriously Griffin brought the note in, told his teacher about it, got some tape from her, and put the note on Andy's cubby. Lol.

Wow. what a process. I just hope Andy wants to actually come over for a playdate.

Happy Birthday Isabelle

Our friends Shannon and Steve had their little girl today just shy of 28 weeks gestation. All is well so far. Babe and mom are healthy! Continued prayers and thoughts are appreciated for this new little life. Congratulations to my fellow blogger.

Happy Anniversary

Today is our 6th wedding anniversary. How fun! We have spent the day recovering from illness and doing a little housework. Getting a shower would be great too but that hasn't happened yet...a true pajama day, make that weekend. lol.

I often think about our life on days like today or our kids birthdays. This month happens to have two so maybe I am a bit more reflective. It is crazy how amazing our life is although it is not really how i imagined I guess. That does not make it bad, just different. There are times I think about other couples who waited until their careers were established to have children or until they had more money in the bank. Some days I feel like we chose a harder path for ourselves than needed. But then I think about all we have in front of us each and every day and I just smile. It is how it is supposed to be....and heck how we planned :)

Today on my 6th anniversary I am content. I will cherish that.

On the mend....

Please let this be the end. I really hope we are all healing and that one of us is just going to skip it entirely. please please please.

Sibling Games

so I am sure you all have played the game with a cat where you take a laser pointer and move it around the ground so the cat chases it. Right? We always played in college and the cats seemed to like it but I could not help but think that part of it was cruel because that cat was never going to "catch" the light.

So this a.m. Griffin played this game with his sister and an elmo flashlight. lol. cracked me up. Paisley ran around chasing this, jumping to catch it at times, and generally laughing hysterically because it kept moving. I was pretty sure this game would end in tears but it actually did not. they both seemed to enjoy themselves thoroughly. so funny, my little cat and mouse team.

sick

I am down for the count. I am hoping that a day of rest will be all I really need. Unfortunately even though I feel awful, have a fever, and cannot get around easily (too much energy), i am also tired of lying around. I swear this is an awful side effect of having children, ie. getting older, lol. I used to be able to lie around for days with no ill effect. Now I almost feel worse from the stiff body as I do from the illness. Ah, to feeling better....

Art, Art, and more art.

Griffin has become a little artist at school. He LOVES his projects they have him do and is really improving his technical skills like cutting, pasting, and drawing. It is so fun to watch him explore an aspect of his personality/skillset that he has not before. And he is actually pretty good. Lee keeps referring to him as the "dark horse" since he has never shown interest before and Paisley always has. lol.

So what to do with all these great projects? I mean, I know I will keep some of them, two in particular, but the rest? I cannot throw them away in his presence...god forbid but really? There are piles and piles from the past 9 weeks.

Other than the art he is blooming through school. He is learning to recognize letters, writing, very remedial reading (through letter recognition), and in turn spelling. It is sooo cool. He is still not very interested in numbers. I so hope he does not struggle with math because that can be difficult for children. He has become VERY interested in books which thrills me. He will sit and read to himself at night which is sooo cute! His imagination is soaring. The games he plays crack me up and he is always creating obstacle courses for his little men or animals. Bathtime can occupy him for hours if we let him and this is not about getting clean it is about playing. He has long involved conversations with his men and animals in the bath. Cracks me up.

He really is such a joy. I am LOVING this age. Sure there is still a lot of whining and dramatics but you can reason with him many times. I get so mad at myself when I do lose my cool with him because he really is such a sweet boy.

Not a great day politically....

I usually try to stay out of politics but sometimes things strike you and you cannot help but become involved or emotionally tied. The results of yesterday's election just has me bummed. It makes me truly realize how much our country is still bigotted and focused on the $. It just bums me out. I surely have my own personal opinions of things but first and foremost I want to protect human rights....life rights. It just makes me sad. Plus the beauty queen won city council :( She seriously is just a pretty face...what a bummer.

Halloween 2009

Funny Griffin Story

the background to this story is that Griffin's teacher, Ms. Kathy, makes the kids english apples. These are peeled and sliced apples with cinnamon sugar sprinkled on them. I have no clue why this makes them english apples but Ms. Kathy is a little quirky and it makes Griffin happy so I just let it be at that.

So FF to today. I picked Griffin up as usual. Then we head to get Paisley. Paisley's sitter often makes cookies and sends one out to the car with Paisley for Griffin. Griffin has come to expect it which I try desperately to squash because it is greedy behavior and also because she does not always have a cookie for him and then he is all sorts of upset. Anyhow, today he got one. A Snickerdoodle (oh yum). Do you see where this is going yet?

He is eating the snickerdoodle while I buckle Paisley. He looks down at it and says, "what's in this cookie?" I said, "sugar and butter." He says, " oh look at it. It's English." haha. the cinnamon sugar sprinkled on top. I chuckled.

woh where has the time gone?

There has been a lot going on and I am not sure where my head is with much of it so I just have not felt like blogging. Nothing is wrong persay and noone is injured or hurt. Just a lot of things occurring in loved ones lives and it is affecting me. Put that together with my own "survival" raising these kids and working, I am struggling for extra time. Anyhow a few things are coming to a close/resolution and others are on going so I am hoping to get back in the swing here of posting. I do owe a couple posts to a few specific things that happened since I last was blogging:

Ct Wedding
Griffin School Update
Paisley Sleep saga
Paisley talking
Art, art and more art
painting garage
3 illnesses in 2 months

So there is some things to think on until I get back here. Hopefully soon!

I'm still here....

I swear. It has just been a busy couple weeks.

Wedding, visit with parents, scraping paint, school board meetings, working, birthday parties, more working, writing articles, moving kids rooms, cleaning out the house, regular routine cleaning, wedding, small amount of socializing (I know, how dare we enjoy our life, right?), and trying simply to live life.

I promise I will be back soon.

Road Trip to CT

What fun we had road tripping to Connecticut for the wedding of the year! We made pretty good time until just past NYC and then CRAWLED the rest of the way. We were all exhausted by the time of arrival but it worked out ok. Mark and Kelly were not far behind us and crashed on our floor. Great start to their wedding weekend sleeping on the floor but I suppose it was better than the car, right?

Friday after we arrived was spent eating breakfast and then hanging around the hotel. Some of the boys went golfing and the rest of us headed to Mystic for some lunch and tourist fun. It was a gorgeous sunny day...loved being near the water! Went back to hotel for a nap which was great except Lee misunderstood when I wanted to be awake so when I did wake up we had like 10 minutes to get ready....not cool when you wanted to get fancied up for the rehearsal dinner. Blah. It turned out fine even though I felt rushed. The evening was beautiful in the backyard of Kelly's relatives...sooooo connecticut with the trees lush all around. I loved it all....oh and the food! wow...amazing. We all went out to a bar afterwards to just hang and even Meghan and Nestor came a long. This was my first meeting with Nes and it was a great one too. We had fun getting to know each other better and teasing Meghan :)

Late night, early wedding morning.....up at the crack for hair and make up. I wanted it to be more relaxed but duh, it's a wedding, aren't they always rushed? Anyhow, luckily it all went off without a hitch so that was great. everyone's hair was awesome, especially Kelly's. The salon really did a nice job.

The wedding, reception, aftermath...what fun. The wedding was simple and short in length but just great. Humor, emotion, passion...just like the two of them. I managed not to cry although I felt the tears welling up. It was pretty awesome. Then off to the reception...booze including 40 oz. of beers, great food, conversation, and dancing. Another great part of the weekend. After we all headed down to the same bar as the night before but the air was tired and we all quickly left.....Kelly drove us all home with a stop at BK. Hysterical. Then we ate the fried food in fancy hotel lobby in all our fancy clothes before passing out upstairs :) Lee and I came up to our hotel room and heard the people next door having sex VERY loudly...hysterical. They went on forever and were really loud....cracked us both up.

Sunday was just gathering, breakfast, and then taking off for home. We got quite lost trying to take a quicker way home. oh well. It did allow us to have dinner with the newlyweds in PA. All and all such happy wonderful memories. So glad we were part of it and although the kids would have enjoyed parts of it I am sooo happy we were kidless :) I was able to be relaxed and they had a blast with my parents back in Cleveland.

Cleanse follow up

The cleanse is over. I am soooo proud of us but I am also relieved it is over. It was hard overall but it was also just incredible. I would love to say we are committed to sticking with it but so far I have been soooo bad. I know that once the wedding is over this weekend I am going to get moderately back on track but not this week...too much going on.

Overall I lost 6 lbs. and Lee reached a new personal goal so we were happy and succeeded in our immediate goals of wanting to do it. I do miss going to the bathroom as regularly as I was while cleansing. AMAZING in not a great way how quickly that goes back to "abnormal". Not to get too detailed my bowels are typically much more normal than the average Joe I feel but on the cleanse they were in tip top shape and robust. :) anyhow, overall I am still feeling the effects of the cleanse in that I am still energetic, motivated, focused. I really hope some of that sticks with me.

pick up today

Griffin had a GREAT day at school. I was able to pick him up just a little early and there was a note from one of his teachers saying how well he had done that day, he finished all his lunch, he answered questions during circle time, and his friend Max helped him find his cot at naptime. It was great to hear.

Then I signed him out and they had some notes about their day. He was asked the following:

your favorite room: "the green room"
color of your bedroom: "green"

your mommy's name: "allison"
how old is mommy: "5"
what does your mommy do?: "she does yoga and adjusts people."
what do you love about your mommy?: "I love to kiss her."

sooo cute. so proof that we are going to continue to have an adjustment period but he is gonna do alright. it is amazing.

first tuesday

I miss the kids :( I have gotten a lot done today so far though. but I really really miss them. I hope I have a harder time adjusting to this than they do. I will pick them up tonight and then it is pizza for dinner!! yahoo.

So far today I emptied out the back of the office of the old carpet. Took it to the dump with the help of Lisa. I stopped by the family room and got rid of a bunch of our old, still good kids clothes. Cannot wait to do more of that...such fun to know the clothes moved onto other homes and not just the trash. Ate lunch (hey this is better than I do some days). Now waiting for Kelly so we can put some favors together. Then back to office for more paperwork, a patient (I know I said I wouldn't do this but she is in pain), and then KIDS!!

drop off today not as good as yesterday but Miss Mollie worked with him and looked at the photo album. It breaks my heart he is having more trouble than I expected :(

2nd week of school

Griffin still did not want to go to school but once I reminded him that we needed to go turn in the homework he got more excited. Our homework was to fill out some sheets about his name, his likes, his dislikes, our family. Then they asked us to put together a photo album of his family, friends, etc. Thankfully this assignment wasn't too difficult since my mother so nicely put together an album for him last christmas (or maybe the christmas before). anyhow, we labeled the people, added a few pictures more recent and went through it with him. We also took a photo of us as a family in the living room...even got Mazzy in the picture :)

Anyhow, I tried my hand at dropping the kids (both of them at two different places) off at daycare this a.m. Paisley helped me drop Griffin off and i think that may have helped somehow because it was pretty good. He did say he was sad that I had to go but then Miss Mollie asked him to show her his album and he was fine. I think it is going better overall. We shall see tomorrow when it is normally a stay home day.

Paisley had a practice run at her new daycare. Virginia is going to be watching her with another little boy, Devon. The two kids seemed to get along well and V is just a great loving grandma type :) I think Paisley is going to enjoy her time there...I am a nervous wreck over all the change but my kids are doing awesome! haha. I do think we get too much paperwork from the center but I guess that is how it goes?

Please if you pray a family I know could use some extra thoughts....their little 3 y.o. was in the hospital last week with e. coli and now two days later the mom is in the hospital with blood clots. They are having arought couple of weeks.

Lastly, grandpa has a surgery date..next thursday....sept. 10th. I am in debates as to whether I should find someone to watch the kids...I know everyone will say, "no no. go about your biz" but I would like to be there for them all. I will discuss with lee and also the other peeps and see what is going on. M and K will be away so I think I should go and be with Sandy.

anyhow, off for a walk with Tamara.

2nd day of "school"

We got off to a rough start with Griffin announcing yesterday that he was not going back to school, he had done that and was through. Great. I kind of ignored it and figured he would be excited today. Wrong. Lee said it was a difficult drop off. I tried hard not to fret about it all day but you know how moms can be. lol. I picked him up a little early today so I could chat with his main teacher. He was soooo happy and playing with the kids when I got there. He said, "those are my friends." He still didn't know anyones name though so I thought we would go introduce ourselves to a few of them. We met Max, Abby, Megan, Caitlin, Gavin, and of course Miss Mollie and Miss Tara (Tar-Uh). I think he is going to be alright of course but the transition is going a little rough. Food is also a little issue although Tara and I agree we are going to give it a bit more time. He told her today "I don't like your food." I don't blame him considering I have seen some of what they serve :( I am just not sure he will do any better with what I might send him?? We shall give it some more time for now.

Paisley is her sweet self this evening. Talking on the phone while she eats dinner. lol. She cracks me up..Lee often says, "I can see her 20 years from now with the phone and a latte." haaha.

Fun weekend planned...play and browns game. I am excited about the quiet of not rushing around. Now if it will just stop raining.

Photos as promised

A few more things to do

I haven't made much more progress on my to do list for the wedding or next week...we have just been working on surviving and all the things going on THIS week. Sheesh...when did we get so busy?

We have made time to catch up on season 3 of Dexter. Gosh I love him although that show scares me shitless. haha.

1st day of "school"

pictures to come since I did get two and he looked adorable. He was sooo excited which was great! Lee said he did have a little trepidation with him leaving but they were all eating breakfast so he was assured he would get over it quickly. I have arranged my schedule so I can go pick him up too so I am excited about that as well! He was so cute with his little backpack and new shoes and fresh haircut. Wow, next year will come quite fast I'm sure when kindergarten begins.

and as Griffin says, "Yaaaaa-whoooo!"

Comments on the Cleanse

So I have noticed that I am hungry all the time on this cleanse which stinks BUT I also notice that I have a lot of extra energy, especially at the end of the day...it seems sort of contradictory. I think that it must mean that I eat often out of boredom or that my normal diet of more carbohydrates and fat keep me fuller longer but make me sleepy, especially later in the day. Hmmmmm. Not sure I am going to keep going with the diet for much beyond next week but we are vowing to be more aware of some of that. I am torn obviously because I do enjoy having extra energy to do things around the house when normally I do not.

Oh but I am extremely crabby due to the lack of instant gratification. How do you fulfill that and also eat right for your body? Ugh. So many things in life involve food especially. I enjoy going for ice cream with my grandma or children. I like grabbing a chai with a friend or a glass of wine. I like to splurge on nachos or chicken strips when drinking a couple times /year. I suppose individually these things are not bad but I think for me, and many they lead to more of that habit. I will continue to give it more thought over the next week but I am pretty sure we will be having pizza on tuesday after the cleanse. lol.

Lastly, I did discover I like Lentils quite a bit. Lee even said they were ok. woh.

The days are all running together

We have been quite busy and we are doing the cleanse so that is a bad combo for 1)blogging and 2) remembering anything that has actually happened. haha. It has been mostly good though and we are enjoyed some hot weather and now some cooler weather. We made it to the beach with some friends one day and the kids had some seriously fun playtime in the sand...I loved watching them play. The friends we met are such nice people and everyone got along the entire time...loved it.

Otherwise we have just been doing the same: work, daycare, home dinner, bed, playgroup and nap added in on my off days. lol. This week starts a new schedule and a few weeks of strange adjustment I am sure. The biggest being how we have to pay for the new daycare. The are paid on the month so it will be kind of weird to change over to that but I think once we do it will actually be better.

So, hoping to get some cleaning in the basement in a few minutes...Lee and I are going to go through a few boxes at a time...just make some progress one step at a time. there is so much to throw away I am sure.

Getting Sheet Done

I had a very good week of getting stuff done.

Now left on my list is to buy stuff for car ride, save money for my hair appointment, and prepare for my parents watching the kids. We have done everything else. I am still not totally happy with my rehearsal dinner outfit and accessories but not sure I will have money to get a different outfit..we'll see.

I have my pedi/mani appt. scheduled also just need to still actually do it!


The week was busy at the office...if only every week was like that. I have yet to figure out why it does that some weeks and not others. anyhow I will write about a fun uplifting story of a new patient later...gotta get these kids in bed. We went to a reggae concert up in downtown lakewood tonight so they are still buzzing on the experience and candy. lol.

Prayers Please

For Lee's grandfather. He is fine but he does need surgery. I still don't have a date because last I spoke with him they were still deciding. He was diagnosed with cancer a few weeks back and although the diagnosis is now not as doomsday as originally thought we still would appreciate any thoughts and prayers. I will keep you posted.

I know I am slightly worried about him and what the future immediately holds. thanks.

Wedding Prep for CT wedding

Only a few weeks before the CT wedding. I am getting sooo excited and hoping all the things I have to do/gather come together. I have so little to do so I sure hope it also all comes together for Kelly and Mark. They just bought a house so they have a lot going on!!

Got my dress (thanks again Kelly)
Need to get Lee measured
Buy shoes
Buy bronzer
Facial and waxing and dying next friday
Haircut next monday
Pedicure the wednesday before
Gift purchased
Other gift being worked on ;)
Hotel booked and bought --yahoo beeyotches you will take my money for the online quote
Need to buy car snacks and drinks
Prepare for my parents watching kids

So, still lots to do but it will get done and then we will be there sans children living it up with our family and soon to be added family :)

can't wait....

sorry been MIA

Just a lot going on. I am going to try to catch up but not sure how much I will actually accomplish. I am still here though and we are enjoying our summer very much. Griffin starts pre-K in just 1 week!! wow. It will be 4 days a week and also be his new daycare. We still need to get him a backpack of some sort so he is all ready to go.

We also found a new sitter for Paisley. I am thrilled about it. We are sad to leave our current sitter but she moved about 15 minutes away and although that doesn't sound like a long distance it adds about 30 minutes to my commute...something I just was unwilling to do for the next year, especially come winter. So, we found a new place and I am feeling content.

So in just a few short weeks we will be adapting to an entirely new schedule. Lee will drop Griffin, I will drop Paisley, I will be working on Tuesdays again (this makes me sad but I need to work more), Lee will still pick up M and W but will have two spots, I will pick up the other two days. I will still be off on thursdays and hope to continue to do fun things with the kids.

I am really hoping this will continue to provide a better work/home balance for us. I need to work more so we have more money so we can get out of debt. this is our primary focus aside from the children. It is going well as we just plug away month after month. I want to snowball even more and the best (only) way for this is for me to make more moolah...I am excited and planning out my focus points.

I am also going to take a few tuesdays this fall to accomplish some things around the house. I plan to tackle the garage (not looking forward to that with the mouse issues) and some painting things that need to be finished. I am also hoping we can finally get the ceiling fan installed in our bedroom. I have the workers, gotta get them to work.

Family Reunion Carroll style

My dad's side of the family all came up to Lakewood a few weeks ago. It was a lot of fun. It was great for the kids to meet the family and for my family to meet them. I just loved it so much! I cannot believe it has been 6+ years since I have seen some of them....just too long. Oddly nothing seems different...isn't that funny with family and people you have a long history with? I guess it is because you keep in touch otherwise but it is still odd to me.

We went to the Lakewood Arts Festival. After walking around viewing the art and us seeking out a wedding gift (unsuccessful) we headed to chinese food dinner. I took them to my patient's restaurant which is great food and everyone agreed. I think I was most nervous about those kinds of decisions with everyone visiting. I was by no means in charge but being as Lakewood is home for us we played a large part in planning/directing food, hotels, etc. So I was nervous people would like it. It all turned out great though.

Sunday more family arrived. My mom spent most of the morning working on bette's cake at our house so we visited and hung. Then we went to set up for the party. The food was excellent and the party even better. The kids had a blast..I mean, who wouldn't anything you want to eat including homemade cake :) Pictures up on the rooftop followed by a walk around the neighborhood finished the evening. Oh and then some watching of old pictures..I can't forget. It was so much fun.

Monday we had some people leaving for the airport so we gathered for a nature walk in rocky river reservation and the nature center. Then we made it back for the final group leftovers lunch. THe rest of that day was lounging and pool and nap and then we all (the ones left) went to our house for a casual grill out. We put up our big lots tent and enjoyed the beautiful breeze. The rain held off just long enough. The kids all played with chalk, rode bikes, and ran amok for the evening.

Tuesday evening was the final day and we headed off to B.A Sweeties candy shop, then off to the airport. I was whipped following the events and came home and crashed. After rest I needed to still unwind so for some reason thought it would be a grand idea to get drunk with my friend that evening...NOT. haha. anyhow, that made for an interesting return to work Wednesday.

All in all the weekend was a blast and I miss them all already. I really hope I don't have to wait another 6 years to see them :( Time flies I know but the kids really enjoyed them and I would love for them to know P and G.

Another wedding!!

My sister is engaged!! and then off to greece she flew. Her boyfriend proposed and then they went to greece on a planned vacation. how romantic, eh? I wish that was my life. lol.

I guess we will be seeing a 2010 bride in my family :)

and the family is gone....

I miss them already although I don't know that I could have taken another day. haha. Isn't that always how it is? Never enough, always too much. It is just always rushed, too much planning but man, I wish that we could all see each other more frequently. My kids really enjoyed it. They were pretty well behaved through it all as well thank goodness. Now on to lots and lots of chores, work, etc. the rest of the week. man, I am tired.....

Where art thou family?

CLEVELAND!!!

We are still having loads of fun. I am tired tonight though. The sun was not out until later in the day so no swimming :( The party was great...food rocked from Marias in Lakewood. Then pictures on the rooftop, cake, walk around the neighborhood, family slides, and talking/laughing. Tomorrow is just hanging, visiting, some site seeing, and then bbq at my house :) Maybe even an evening at Malleys.

A Family Weekend

My dad's family is visiting cleveland this weekend. So far, soooo much fun! It will be short and crazed slightly but I think we are gonna have a blast.

Today we went to the Lakewood arts festival followed by dinner at my patients chinese restaurant. Yummo. It was a great day. Now baking cakes and watching t.v. with my mom and Lee. Tomorrow swimming, cooking, cake decorating, bread buying, and PARTY!!!!

My mind is a flutter

I am actually feeling pretty good this week all things considered. I am continuing to handle my stress in a much more productive manner. I even got several work outs in this week. And yet, my mind just won't stop. I think there are just too many directions for it to go and so instead of shutting down it is in overdrive, stuck on auto-pilot. I know I will figure it all out but I just wish it would be done already.

We won!

we won our first game of the season :) It was such a great feeling.

today was a great day...busy but great. Started out with a high amount of anxiety so I just knew I needed to exercise (that or drink). So I attempted the first time dropping the kids at the Y childwatch. It went well although G did tell me it was boring. whatever child.

Then we went to The Little Gym since a friend of G had invited him..it was bring a friend week. He LOVED it. If I could only afford and figure out what to do with my other child. It really was fun to see him doing all that tumbling, jumping, swinging, and listening. he really really liked the guy instructor and tried to hug him at the end like another little girl but the guy did not know him well so he just high fived him. G looked confused. haha.

Later today we went to the Pool to swim. G wore his muscle man outfit but he was a fish. He swam all over. P was much more used to the water too so it was a great time. Then off to kickball...now it is barely 9 p.m. and I am spent. woooooo.

Brain Overload

That is certainly how I feel this week. I am actually attempting to turn it off and just focus on the tasks at hand which feels even weirder since it is so unlike me. Normally I can handle a LOT before being in crisis mode. I know Lee and I haven't been getting enough sleep but we have really needed this extra time to zone, talk, etc. Glad to miss the sleep for that. If we stay strong we will conquer, right?

The kids are doing well. I think feeding a bit off my crazed brain atm but we are managing. We had a day/night away from them so that helps always. Coming up is our carroll family reunion and I am soo excited for some of my family to meet them, hang with them, etc.

Update on food

Still going alright. Griffin is fighting me big time and then little girl follows suit of her own. Lee served them Peanut Butter Toast, green peppers, and fresh peaches for dinner wednesday evening. Totally kid geared BUT progress in that Griffin never used to eat peanut butter so his taste buds are continuing to open up. Yesterday was cereal for breakfast. Lunch was eggs with toast followed by a request of corn on the cob and a fresh peach. lol. The requests are at least no longer cookies, cake, donuts, etc. Snack was peanut butter on a brown rice cake. Dinner was mac n cheese, green beans, and green pepper strips. Then apple for desert. I know, I know..mac n cheese but it was a rushed evening. They ate it all and more so I am happy with that.

Breakfast was french toast which griffin wouldn't eat and just asked for milk.

What I am now struggling with is how to get him to eat, eat healthily without it being a pushed thing. I don't want to make food an "issue" especially with Paisley. So, I am hoping by working on this now while they are younger and also while it is summer and so many great foods around we can get into good patterns and stay there.


On an adult food update I made this homemade cucumber sauce and made gyros. OMG. sooo easy and soooo good. I highly recommend using the cuckes from the garden right now for this. Too bad my tomatoes haven't caught up...too much cold weather. I also made homemade coleslaw. Really tasty as well although it still amazes me how messed up my own taste buds are. I had fresh head of cabbage so used that and although it is good it isn't the same as using a bag of shredded cabbage from the store...makes me wonder what they do to that cabbage in the store. hmmmm...probably nothing good. kind of like the baby carrot drama.

Really weird energy day

So I began my day with a little too little sleep but felt good. Then on to the dermatologist for the first time. I was there to have a growth inspected and while there decided to have her check out a mole on my left shoulder. She said they most likely were benign but due to the size and that they have been bothering me she would advise getting rid of them. I was hesitant because of my previous experience with a mole butcher, I mean, removal....but this was very different. I am still unsure what she did but it was quick and relatively painless. I still didn't like losing parts of my body...seemed surreal to happen sooo quickly...

Then off to a couple errands for the shower this weekend and FIL birthday today. Then to work. Lots of in need patients today, recovering from hospital stays, depressed, down down down, it was weird energy. As the day progressed my energy was waning....big time.

Now I might think I was just tired but it is different. I am wondering if it is an energy sucker kind of thing or if it is a lidocaine withdrawal thing? I felt pretty "up" after those shots so maybe???

I did find out we can take Griffin to the dentist office both lee and I go to which is exciting. It is a big office but they are really nice there so I am happy. I think it will be great and maybe he will be excited to brush his teeth daily. lol.

Food Nazi

So, we are on day 4 of eating only whole foods, homemade mostly, and non "kid" food. Two nights ago was make your own pizzas which the kids helped with and then Griffin refused to eat, went to bed with no dinner. Ok, fine. Last night was quesadillas which they both loves and both ate with bananas and carrots on the side. Still a little "kid tilted" but I was ok with it. Tonight: homemade mini meatballs, fresh cut baked fries, and broccoli. Had to bribe/coax a bit but Griffin ate 1 entire mini meatball. This may sound ridiculous rejoicing over one but there were few tears shed and he ate it so I am calling it a minor success. He of course ate the entire rest of the meal and is now having his milk and peach for desert. Paisley mostly snacked on the ketchup. She did eat all the fries, one broccoli and part of one meatball. She is learning to exert her opinion....it is lovely. Can you hear my sarcasm? lol.

We plunge forward with the food resculpting.

2nd meeting

I had my 2nd session with Ruth yesterday. It was once again great although I am finding so many things come to the surface and then BAM are right there in life waiting for me, to challenge me, to see how I will respond after these sessions. I guess that is good?? i am undecided really. I want to perservere and figure more out but must remain patient....especially since my busy schedule won't allow for a 3rd meeting until mid august :(

The kids have been doing great. They are eating a bit better. Griffin has chosen not to eat at times but I think that he understands that is his choice. I still think it is better than him "winning". He is eating much more just what is put in front of him. I remember in our house there were very few things put in front of us for meals that we hated. My parents didn't play like that. But we had to try it and attempt to eat most of our food. There were no punishments I recall but it was encouraging and like I said we generally liked what they fed us. I hope I can get that into my kids as well. I want food to be fun. I want Griffin to open his taste buds a little...I think at the moment he is trapped in some bad habits but they are quickly unraveling.

Paisley asked to nurse last night. Tugged at my heart strings slightly I must admit but I am done. I feel sadness for that part of my life potentially being over. I am trying to be ok with us having only 2 children. It isn't that I feel slighted with the two we have, they are great, I just still long for a bigger family...but in a different time and place. I know I cannot handle more nor can our current house or lifestyle..so we will wait and see but encouraging my brain to become more comfy with "just 2". My grandmother will be pleased.

off to work a little...have a 1/2 day of freedom today to get some extra work done.

Stupid Gardening

or maybe stupid gardener....gah. I totally was not using my brain and overfilled a garbage can with soil and other brush...well, it got too full and then toppled over on my foot/ankle. YEOUCH!! such horrific pain...it was scary. I am now spending the rest of today icing and resting. I guess not too bad but I cannot stand being dependent on any0ne so that part stinks. Like right now I am thirsty and hungry but Lee probably fell asleep putting Paisley to nap. ugh. So, I am trying to get Griffin to be quiet and not crazy (not really working) and icing my foot. I am tempted to get up and take care of myself but I really need to not put pressure on this foot yet. Ugh. I really hope it is not broken.

Streetwalking

haha. what were the in charge thinking? Lakewood had this great event yesterday and had the title as Lakewood Streetwalk. Now, yes, it is literal....but really? I don't want to think of lakewood having a red light district. they even sold t-shirts that read "street walker". really? anyhow, it was a blast. we went with the kids and met up with some friends. I saw many people I know there and chatted/walked/watched/loved being outside in the heart of our town enjoying the summer. Then we all met for dinner at pacers. a truly great afternoon.

Now I cannot wait for the arts festival...another great lakewood event scheduled for aug. 1st this year!!

Food Overhaul

We are beginning this. Last night was the beginning. Aug. 10-30 Lee and I are going to do the standard process cleanse so I thought we begin preparing and getting the kids on board. I cannot have the temptations of mac n cheese every night for them while I am cleansing plus they need to be eating other foods. So, last night we made chicken burgers, pierogies, and fresh green beans. IT was a challenge to say the least but I think the parents won overall.

Griffin ate 5 bites of chicken burger and LOTS of green beans. Paisley ate 1/4 chicken burger and 2 green beans. they both ate some bun too. The pierogies were a no go for both but that's ok. Up tonight...homemade pizza. This shouldn't be too much of a fight thankfully :) but still healthy. I hope to get some peppers on g man's pizza and maybe some other stuff on Paisley's.

anyhow, it has begun and although I am still going to allow sweets here and there we are going to try to make it an activity for the family (ie. homemade) so that once it is gone, no more. should save us some money too.

50's in July?

Ha. aside from the terrible growing season for local produce I am pretty psyched about this awesome weather we are having this summer. We made it through two more hot nights and then last night we needed the blankets. yahoo. today is simply gorgeous!!

Time for the AC?

It is July 16th. We haven't put in our ac window units yet and so far have had 3 rough nights of sleep. Last night was the fourth though and I am not sure I want to have a fifth. it is such a laborious task though and we are both feeling cheap that we are attempting to make it as long as possible. If I can make it to aug. 1 I will be really thrilled but seriously I am not holding my breathe. Given the summer really hasn't been that hot yet we are likely to need ac until november...lol.

good lord it was hot last night though.

Meditating

Ruth suggested Belleruth Naperstak to me and the name sounded immediately familiar. She had a hypnobirthing pregnancy c.d. I listened to when pregnant with Griffin. Apparently her voice still works to calm me. lol. I went on monday to get some c.d.s by her at the library but they only had tape...no problem. Lisa has a tape player here. So, I laid down today at 11:30 to listen to my 25 minute guided meditation. I am pretty sure I heard about 10 minutes of it and then woke up at 1:25 with drool on my mouth. THAT is not going to work at work. haha. But I do feel calm and slightly sleeping but I think it is mostly calm. Weird stuff that Belleruth

Weeds

we are now watching this. It is pretty freaking hysterical. I am LOVING these showtime shows...of course as soon as I would switch from HBO to showtime then HBO would have the better shows. right?

of course, once again my sleep is suffering. big time. that is not good. but the show is really great.

hello

it's me :) We had a fun filled weekend playing outside and hanging with friends/family so no time for blogging. Now I am back.

I started working out again. I am going to get back at it. I feel sooo much better when I am but this time I am going to attempt to be more moderate with it and truly rehab this R sided problem. We shall see, so far moderation is not my strength. lol.

Yesterday I had my first appointment with Ruth. It was amazing. We talked about so many different things and it has really gotten me thinking in a much more productive manner. Followed it up with a very insightful and helpful conversation with Lee last night so I am feeling quite good about the choice to do this.

I have been lacking in consistency with the vitamins. Lee is doing great and sticking to it. The kids demand them every day so they are getting them regularly. Me? when I seem to remember....why is that? Obviously a shift of thought needs to occur in regards to that or in general so I am also taking care of myself.

off to piles of paperwork.

no alarm=earlier wake up?

why does every saturday and sunday come and my kids are up at the crack of dawn, crabbing at us. or so it seems. Seriously this week paisley slept until 7 a.m. everyday and we had to wake griffin almost everyday to get ready for the day....one day he even slept until 8:15 on his own. TODAY? 6 a.m. crying for baby girl and shortly after for griffin....ugh. sleepy. and Lee is crabby. can I run away now?

Harvey ball suckers

Kickball is fun but man we are not good. ha. I keep getting charlie horses in my quads too which is extremely not fun. ouch.

We had a really great day yesterday. The kids were overall happy, cooperative, and non whiney. I say overall because that is about as good as it gets right now with Paisley. She is miss grumpy pants most of the time with her little furrowed brow. She furrows it at strangers and even the ones she loves if she does not like what you are saying or wanting her to do. I keep telling her she will regret it in 20-30 years. lol.

I cooked a lot yesterday again. I am LOVING the summer harvest :) So yesterday I made refrigerator pickles. We shall see how these turn out but I am psyched at how they smell. yum yum. the kids love pickles too so hopefully they enjoy these as well. Then I made another batch of garlic scape pesto which I also added basil to like a more traditional pesto. It was soooo tasty this time, even better than the first batch. Lastly I made my first eggplant parmesan. I am scared to try it. It smells great to me but I have never really eaten eggplant so I am nervous about the new factor. I will brave it today. lol. Up this weekend, stuffed cabbage which I attempted the first time last year and did alright but plan to make it superb this year! I may also try rattatouille with all the squash but need to pick up some peppers for that dish.

So cute story about Paisley and Lee:

Paisley is now getting gestures more and more. She blows air out of her mouth and waves her hand if something is hot. She also does this if something is stinky like when I take her sh0es off at the end of the day or am changing her diaper. Yesterday Lee comes up to the bedroom and says to me, "Paisley keeps pulling on her diaper and then gesturing that it is hot". I laughed so hard and then told him she is telling you it is stinky. :) hahaha. He said, "oh that makes much more sense."

Hump Day

I have always loved wednesdays. When I was a kid it was spaghetti or pizza night which was great. In college it was collaborative cooking night. When I worked the grocery store it was my day off. Always been a decent amount of good shows on that evening. I took that day off on my pseudomaternity leave so I could always go to my nursing moms group. In my present life it is farmer's market day, cityfresh day, and the day before a day off which is great! So, yes, wednesdays are great...plus they are called hump day!

Life is going well. I have felt under the weather today but off to bed shortly so that is good. P is still not nursing. I am easing into comfort with that. I am hoping to continue to comfort her with cuddling (something she is great at). Griffin has been so fun recently. He is really becoming such a boy instead of anything that resembles a baby. This is scary and slightly sad but really mostly just wonderful and fun. I have cut juice out of their diet. They were both becoming little addicts so I have decided to take a break. The first couple days were rough with him asking constantly and P rejecting the water I gave her but we have been smooth sailing since and now he just asks for water when he wants something to drink. I have also given them chocolate milk once/day if requested. Next up, diet overhaul.

Since P is looking to stop nursing here soon and we are in the height of fresh fruit and veggie season I want to cleanse again. Lee will join me I am sure. The kids will not cleanse but we are going to have a diet overhaul. I wouldn't say they eat poorly but some bad habits have formed and I want to stop them from becoming more permanent. Plus, griffin needs to learn to try more things. He now has opinions of his own on many points which I think is great and I am open to him having opinions on foods he likes or dislikes but only if he actually tries it. I know from doing this before with him his palatte really opens up after a few days of getting rid of the junk...wish me luck.

Ok, off to bed. I am still not feeling 100% and we have requests of visits to two different parks tomorrow....sheesh.

3 days

how many days since P nursed. I cannot even remember the actual last time since I am trying to be casual about it. I am soooo happy but soooo sad. I think also not knowing if we will have another makes it harder this time. I need to do some journaling about my little babe this week...reconnect to those small moments and then let her move one :)

so, not quite 20 months of nursing this one!! of course she still asks on occasion so we shall see if this is truly over....I think I now prefer the sudden traumatic stopping Griffin chose.

4th of July

What a great weekend. Friday night we partied at my in laws and the kids did great so we were able to stay out and about like "normal folk". Saturday a.m. everyone slept in which was weird and good but did not actually make for a happy toddler (she whined most of the day). We hurried down for the end of the block coffee meet n greet, followed by the kids parade of Ramona. Then it was on to Lakewood's 4th of July parade. What fun! mostly griffin just wanted the candy but I think he enjoyed all the people and parade activities too. Cleaning, cooking, and resting took place the rest of the evening. Then onto the block party...man, that was fun to watch griffin just mingling and playing with all the kids on our block. Friends came over so we went back to the house around 7 to hang under our assembled tent for the weekend...Paisley crashed early so Lee stayed with her so we could take griffin down the block to the fireworks. It was amazing how much he enjoyed them. I really wasn't sure to be honest.

Today was a lazy day, hung around, saw a friend, played with the kids, cooked, lazed some more....really should do some stuff around here but too tired. might go on a walk with another friend. we shall see.

Potty Learning

Paisley is beginning to show signs of readiness including just not wanting to wear a diaper. So today I asked her (as I often do when she seems to be pooping) if she wanted to sit on the potty to poop. Normally she says "NO" but today she agreed and actually did...of course then she also pooped on her leg and the floor but whatever....we are making small steps towards NO MORE DIAPERS....this alone might convince me to never have another child :)

Lego Master

Griffin is getting so great at legos. It is amazing. today he has made many versions of a scorpian. Lee took him this afternoon to finally spend a little of his birthday money on a larger set. I can't to see what he makes with those....like many things the more is a tad overwhelming at first for him but he soon catches up.

Bathroom Day 3

and it continues. We got the mirror/cabinet hung and then we were stuck. we were really clueless about what needed to be done to get the sink put in and faucet running....thank goodness for Dads!!!! Of course he is still working on it but I promise to let him go to his own projects asap. I swear some things just never go easily and construction/remodeling is one of them. grrrrrr.

Bathroom Day 2

It's Painted!! what a PITA but it only took about 5.5 hours to complete between the two of us taking turns doing that or watching the chillins. there are so many nooks and crannies to our bathroom...yeoutch....my back hurts already from being bendy woman.

Tomorrow we will work on as much as we can to finish up this project. I am hoping/praying the painting was the worst of it but I am no fool and realize that was actually the part we knew something about already.

I did learn something about Lee yesterday. He was taking down the old light fixture and got to the point of disconnecting the electric. I have watched/helped my father enough times to generally know what to do with minor electric but it freaks me out still...probably because in those times I have also watched my father get shocked multiple times :) anyhow, Lee says "yikes what do we do next?" I realized that his lack of doing might actually just be a lack of knowledge....maybe if we keep doing these projects he will gain more confidence because I know we can do them...teamwork and well, work :)

Actually...

does not need to begin every sentence. Griffin didn't get this memo though. He keeps saying it and it is pretty funny. so, in five sentences there will often be 4-5 actuallys. haha. what a goof ball.

Bathroom Demolition

we are redoing the bathroom. nothing major like we planned at some point but enough to make us no longer hate the bathroom. I know hate is a very strong word (and one we are trying desperately to rid from our son's vocab so I really should not use it)...let us just say strongly dislike being in the bathroom...so, we bought the materials, we chose the paint, we prepped the work space, lee removed our only light (so now we are forced to at least complete the job that far, right?), and we prepped the walls for paint tomorrow (clean, sand, puddy, more sanding).

I am soooo excited. It currently looks bare but already better.

Lee is on vacation so I have been taking 1/2 days from work for the week. we also thoroughly cleaned the first floor. It was sooo nice to know that all the dust bunnies and sticky spots and puke smell were gone, even if just for an afternoon. we went through the kids toys again as well....much more organized and very much slimming down finally.

Tomorrow Paint and light installation
Wednesday Vanity, mirror, and accessory installation
Friday we rest, I hope

I have a new love

and he is a serial killer. His name is Dexter. and he is on showtime. oh man I love that show. wish I could be watching right now. seriously, though, whatever will we do when we are caught up with the past seasons. I haven't been drawn into a show like this for awhile. Must by my mom's love for court t.v. rubbing off on me. lol.

kid stats

from their appointments last week.

griffin at 4 y.o. 35 lb. (50%), 40 5/8 in. tall (high side of 50%)

Paisley at 19 months 27 lb. (high side of 75%), 32 3/4 in. tall (low end of 75%), head 18 7/8 (low end of 90%)

they are both doing great!!

just another tuesday

pretty nice day with the kids. I wasn't great with not yelling but we got out and about, did some exercise, did some cleaning, and had some fun. griffin still told me he loved me so I suppose my yelling was kept at an ok amount. :)

I am still sweaty from our bike ride though. I think the window units are close to being necessary. I WILL make it to July 1st this year! it will just be hot. I think back to when we lived in the apartments and didn't even have air...I think that I like to convince myself now that this house has worse air flow but honestly it just gets hot eventually...and then all houses have bad air flow. so, we will wait and we will be not die..but yes, we will be hot for a few more days.

in part of our travels today we biked to the bike shop on madison because in order to continue biking around town I really felt it was necessary we finally purchase a bike lock. I know the bikes most likely will be fine without being locked up but I don't feel like risking it any longer. so, we stopped at Spin and griffin found a little bike with training wheels and he took right to it. oh how I wish I had enough money to buy him this bike. He really just LOVED it. I can see that owning it would pose problems with the youngest member of our family as she is convinced she is big enough to do anything he does but oh, how griffin did so great on it.

then it was off to the library. I want to get some books about going to the dentist as griffin will have his first appointment sometime in the next couple months. then to the dvd store (aka blockbuster) for more disks of Dexter.....love that show, officially obsessed. then to phoenix where we had a apple juice tea party according to griffin. he is awesome. :)

oh, and this morning we got stocked on vitamins, everyone took theirs, including me and we are headed in the right direction. I also heard back from my doctor about the therapist. feeling good about making that call too. I am hoping and praying it does not rain tomorrow..I really want to ride my bike to work.

typical morning...

NOT!

we woke at 6 a.m.-typical
took a shower-typical
tidied the upstairs-typical
heard noise outside-uh, sometimes typical
looked out to see lots of cops-not typical
dog goes crazy at someone knocking on the front door-very typical
policeman at the door-not typical
police asks lee if he heard anything last night-not typical
dead body in the brush next to the traintracks across the street from our house-sooooo NOT TYPICAL!!!!

ugh, very disconcerting. they assured us already that they do not suspect foul play but geez, a dead body was there this a.m...we walk through there sometimes. yikes. just sooo creepy. It was a young guy, 20-22, goatee, dead most likely since last night given the rigor that had set in already. wow.

Tonight putting griffin to bed.

I was lying in bed with griffin, trying to pretend I was asleep so he would fall asleep.

griffin: "so what did you do today mommy?" lol.

me: "I went to work to make money so we can buy things."

griffin: "like transformers and bakugon?"

me: "well, sometimes, but usually we spend money on food, clothes, our cars, and our house."

griffin: "we should just spend money on robots and bakugon."

then, quiet followed by...

"you have a blister?"

me ignoring him so he will think he should go to sleep.

"daddy can put a bandaid on that for you. then he can rip it off later. it won't hurt too much."

me still ign0ring.

"does your blister hurt?"

me: "griffin go to sleep. my blister doesn't hurt. it is fine. I will ask daddy to look at it later."

griffin: "otay. if you say so...."


oh my this kid kills me in his mimicking and antics nowadays. hahhahahahah.

griffin cuteness continues

now it is "Paisley just stop thinking about it. have fun. don't think about it and you will be otay." also, he says, "I love you mommy. do you love me?" I said, "yes, very much." him, "thank you." hahaha.

Paisley has been cute too but difficult to focus on the cuteness when she is so dang whiney. I know it is in part the age. she really is quite the character though. loves to help around the house, loves to do anything her big brother is doing (I love this since I always always always wanted a big brother), and loves to watch me get ready and participate in the bathroom. this included getting into my make up the other day. she had brown eyeliner on her lips and blue eye shadow on her forehead. hahaha. they both love my high heels though. lol.

today is a new day

Monday, June 22nd. by some calculations I was due on this date 4 years ago. It is a good day :)

Today I begin the shift of some changes. taking control again of the chaos. don't get me wrong. life really is quite great overall but the littlest things send me into a tailspin and I really think as the mother of my family they all follow suit in some way. so, today is the day. I have made some lists and called a few people I need to call. and overall going to make some positive changes to begin TODAY. can you tell this is going to happen today? haha. I am focusing on it because it was a rough morning....again. ugh. but no more. I mean, sure there will still be rough mornings but things are gonna change so that we can all cope better.

with that said we really did have a lovely weekend. I hope lee concurs. He spent a lot of time with the kids alone on saturday and I most definitely needed the time away. I think in part I am still traumatized by all the alone time I spent with them a few weeks back...lol. so, friday night we cashed in on our sitter swap and went to a friend's birthday party. old friends, lots of laughing, good times. about the only bad part was it was a late night, i was already tired and paisley was up again at the crack of dawn (5:30) sat. a.m. I was off to work at 8:30. Lee could not get the girl to nap either. she was seriously manic by the time I was home. they were playing with the slide and the slip n slide. she was having a blast but in a completely manic way...crazed wet baby. I finally said it was time to go in, got her dry and to sleep at 3:30 pm...insanity. she did sleep until 6 p.m. though. that evening I was off to the art museum with tamara for the east wing summer solstice celebration. we had a blast but another late night and since yesterday was father's day I was up with her at 5:30 a.m. yet again. ugh. I did lie back down at 8:30 because they both seemed happy and I just couldn't be awake anymore. that did not really fly...they kept getting in the bathroom, into my make up, knocked over a lamp, fed the dog lots of non dog food, and generally were just whiney and annoying. so finally both lee and I got up and we proceeded to have a really nice day....cleaning, outside, zoo, ice cream, home for dinner, baths, rest, and early bedtimes!! she did sleep all the way through the night and up at 6 a.m. but the whining, oh geez the whining.

so, the changes...are a happening...first, no more whining. second, severely reduce the yelling. we will speak to the children in quiet tones with hopes they pick up on it..wish me luck. third, schedule! I think this will help the kids the most whihc will in turn help us. they need to know the expectations even more than are already present. so, a schedule with check list. fourth, meal plan (working on this). fifth, counseling..more on this later.

aaah, I feel better. now for some lunch.

Just forget about it...

say griffin to paisley when she was whining again. so cute.

maybe I should take his advice too. he is wise that wee one. I need to just forget about it and move on. I have been yelling too much. I have also been moping too much. I desperately need some sleep though and would feel a little bit better. ugh.

work this a.m. and it was good...now feeling unmotivated.

some griffin cuteness

he has been saying, "thank you mommy." for pretty much anything. Like, I tell him, "griffin you are such a great big brother" or "griffin here is your juice" or "yes I see you are playing with your toys".....pretty much acknowledging him gets a thank you. guess we are getting somewhere with manners :)

today Paisley was quite upset and griffin says to her and then me, "think about something else. stop thinking about it." "mommy just tell her to think about something else"...this is something I have said to him when he is getting really worked up. ha. I guess it is setting in but it most certainly does not work on a pissed off 20 m0nth old.

griffin got a present from his friend Natalee today for his birthday. there was also a card. on the ride home he was reading it, "this card says happy birthday to griffin. you are great." hahahahaha.

he is also really starting to take to reading. I am psyched about this. my aunt and uncle gave paisley two books when they were recently visiting and the kids LOVE them. so much so they are fighting over them a lot...annoying but I guess they could be fighting over other things, right?

random fever or not so random?

Both kids had their well check ups on tuesday afternoon. they are well :) or they were until I allowed the nurse to stab tetanus into griffin's leg. ugh. anyhow, he was quite traumatized by it and even though I know it is "for his safety" I am quite traumatized by his response :( anyhow, he was fine after a few minutes and fell asleep on the walk home. about two hours later the fever developed but then disappeared. the next morning he seemed fine so off to our days we went...my sitter called around 10 a.m. to tell me he had fallen asleep on the couch and when she moved him she felt he was really warm. she said she was happy to keep him as l0ng as he was sleeping and not wanting me. I picked him up around 3 with a 103 degree temp. I called the doc and they were concerned it could be a reaction from the vax but he had also had this random (I think made up but who knows in a 4 y.o.) leg pain tuesday as well so the doc was not sure the fever was from that ( like a silent infection or fracture of some sort)....so we waited and he fevered and then he was fine. long story short probably a vax reaction, mild one but it was awful on all counts..glad we can not do that for awhile again. blah.

feeling LOW

this is the 4th or 5th month in a row that I feel the world caving in during this week of the month...no good. I plan to do something about it but even though I know what to do, how to start has me feeling stuck. I am hoping to feel more motivated and in control next week so I can do this...remind me if I get sidetracked, ok?

parades and parties

we had a very busy saturday starting out with Parade the Circle over in University Circle. It was a festival and parade of handmade sort. Loads of fun for all...I look forward to this event as the children grow bigger and bigger.

then it was home for some rest (yeah right) and pasta salad making. Then off to a partay (or gathering) of Lee's work folk. His co-worker lives in a pretty neat house down in ohio city/tremont area. I enjoyed that. the kids enjoyed their bounce house and 5 y.o. daughter. we were able to hang out and talk without too much grief from the kids for 3 whole hours. ha. then home where we all collapsed into sleep...Lee was a tad disappointed with the waste of the evening this morning when he woke up.

Not sure exactly what happened during the night of sleep but I put Paisley to bed and then laid down in our bed because my belly muscle was aching. I must have fallen asleep. Then Lee put Griffin to bed and fell asleep in his bed. We are guessing that Grififn left his bed at some point and came to bed with me...I don't remember this at all. What I do remember is being woken up because he fell out of the bed and screamed. I calmed him down and back to sleep but he had woken Paisley so I moved into her room on the futon so she would keep sleeping. blah...awful night of moving and such. so this a.m. Griffin was in our bed all alone, Lee was in Griffin's bed, and I was on the futon in P's room. what a mess.

Today we are working slowly through the day on some to-dos. It is nice just to be moving slowly and not worrying about having to be anywhere :)

Happy Birthday Griffin

wow...4 years! I just cannot believe it. I mean, it is long but it isn't that long, right? I am quite nostalgic today and yet can realize the memories are fading :( man I love this boy though.

oh, and even though he turned 4..he thinks he is 7. haha.

Griffin today

It still amazes me how overnight (or so it seems sometimes) they grow up. Lee told griffin to be good for me this week so I didn't have to work too hard. It really worked in many ways as I was able to remind griffin of what Lee told him and also slightly threaten him at times :) haha. so anyhow, griffin keeps walking around this week telling me how good he is being or he will ask, "am I being good right now?" as if he was not being good I would still tell him he was...haha. anyhow, then today we were getting ready to go to a friend's house to play and he says he needs to pack a bag...a strange assortment made it into the backpack, all with intent as i watched him pick them out: a dora the explorer book, a small basketball, several men figurines, a whistle, and a bag of peanuts. He barely showed Natalee the stuff so I am not sure why it was very important to bring....at any rate he put the stuff in the bag, then he put the backpack on and asked, "am I handsome?" I told him "very." then he asked to wait outside on the porch. I let him out and locked up the front door. a minute later he was banging on it and said he needed to go potty...he took off the backpack and did his business upstairs, came back down, put the backpack on again, and again asked, "am I very handsome?" I told him, "absolutely." he is so cute.

then in the car he asked me why he couldn't wear his backpack while in his car seat and I told him because it wouldn't feel very good smashed up against his back. down the road he asked me again and then said, "oh yeah. I am in the car. so silly. hahahaha. you are so silly mr. man" He gave himself the nickname I told him Lee calls him since our window guy had a nickname.

god I am in love with this kid. lol.

Pooped.

It is barely 9 p.m. and I am going to bed. I probably won't go to sleep yet but I need to be in bed, chillaxin. (I love that word). It was an early rise this a.m. and another busy day.

I did manage to go to play group, get my haircut, put P for a nap, laze around during naptime in a daze, get them up and going and over to a friend's house for a playdate, home for dinner, and then bed at a decent hour. It is exhausting but we are doing it! I made warm green salad tonight with the greens from yesterday, baby portabella mushrooms gg picked up, and garlic expressions. It smelled wonderful and I will enjoy it tomorrow. I also made many eggs (for the children) and a lovely chicken stir fry with some leftover chicken, all the veggies in my fridge and bok choy from cityfresh. I am bummed that I forgot to pick some thai basil to put in the fry. oh well.

off to bed. work and then pick up lee tomorrow!!!

Cityfresh and the Farmers market

Summer is here even if the temperature doesn't reflect because the food has arrived..the growing season has begun!! I picked up some fresh cheese, jam, and honey at the farmers market this afternoon. then this evening I picked up our first shares of cityfresh. we got maple syrup, bok choy, onions, kale, lettuce, green garlic (not sure what this is), and some herbs. I am soooo excited. then I picked up some fresh bread and a treat from the local baker who had a stand...oh my that lazy daisy cake is YUM!!

anyhow, griffin LOVED the bread. go figure but he did also eat a little bit of lettuce. Paisley and I enjoyed the bread, jam, cheese, onion with some zucchini I had in fridge, and it was all soooo tasty.

off to bathe and bed...they both napped a loooong time today for anna so wish me luck for an early bed...I am sooo tired.

Long great day

Kids woke up freaking early and I was not pleased especially considering I knew we were stuck at home for the glass block guy. Him coming was good in some ways though because it thoroughly entertained them (when the saw wasn't scaring Paisley). The poor guy was tortured though with Griffin's incessant talking and shadowing..pretty cute and entertaining from my perspective and "Biggs" handled it quite well. The dog hated Biggs though so she spent the day in her cage in griffin's room...enough of an ordeal in and of itself to put me in for the day. ugh.

The rest of day was normal...lunch, nap, snack, walk. Now Griffin is asleep on the couch and P is eating dinner...I will bathe her after she eats and then attempt to wake g so he does not keep me awake all night.

one evening down....

3 to go :) picked kids up from anna. then met up with tamara for a walk and a treat and a trip to the playground. then home and had some late dinner and got the kids to bed. I really hope it is a great night so we can have a great day again tomorrow.

glass block windows in the a.m.!!!! lee has the camera so no pics :(

Great weekend

after several rough weeks and nice weekends that I just couldn't seem to enjoy this weekend I really enjoyed the entire time. The kids were in decent moods, noone was ill, we cleaned, I worked, we got outside, we socialized...it really was a little bit of everything. Of course I am still exhausted but that really does seem par for the course these days.

stupid cavs lost. nuff said...stupid cavs.

Lee leaves tomorrow afternoon. He will be gone all week in vegas. We will all miss him. I think I will the most...:) I know it will all be fine and the week will be busy enough to barely notice really but gah, I am a little freaked out.

we started the first step of our get outta debt plan this week. yahoo..it has begun. I already am afraid of failing but need to get that out of my head fast. why do I always live in fear. It isn't like I have failed a lot in my life or been scared much in my life either yet the unknown is really not something I like. does anyone? if so, I want to hear from you. I envy your ability to go with the flow of life, the twists and turns. I am discovering more and more about myself that the only way I cope with life is with a plan..so if plan 1 goes awry I must soon develop a new plan. with children you can imagine I am constantly creating plans in my head....it is a tad exhausting. I am working on new ways to help this with beginning routines that the entire family can have so that I am not just reacting to their impulses. I am sure this will get better as the children mature, I hope?

off to finish the day and then rest....aaaah, isn't that what sundays are about really?


p.s. griffin funny..."look into my eyes" "daddy you got your haircut? it's nice." "my feelings. I lost my feelings" just don't want to forget these times when he is just pure innocence. love that kid!

Myers Briggs test

I am an ENFJ. What are you?

business abounds

It has been a crazy month, next week is even crazier and the rest of the summer are looking just as busy. Lots of fun stuff planned but I don't do well with busy without being organized so I am kind of panicking...I need to NOT do that and probably also get off this computer and actually DO something but yeah, I'm not. ha.

Paisley has been sleeping AWFUL again. I don't know why. I have stopped wondering honestly and am just trying to survive through it. Of course I am also trying to go to bed earlier which is making getting anything done impossible because she or her brother are staying up way too late, it's a viscious cycle really. ugh. This morning was soooo bad because they were all so nice and sleepy in their beds and I had to WAKE them to get going. I hate that. no fun to wake sleeping children ever.

I just saw this kid walk past that I have seen grow up the last 5 years through the window at my office. Back 4 years ago we actually had a weird interaction when he fell off his bike and scraped his knee and elbow pretty badly. he lives just around the corner and his friend had gone to alert his mother he was hurt. I went out to be with him until she got there and then brought them inside for water, hydrogen peroxide, and band aids. At any rate, 4 years ago he was a little chubby but still young so I figured it was "baby fat". Well, he just walked by and it is sooo sad. He is seriously overweight. Ugh. I hate that. This is not a "he's just big boned". This is totally the pandemic that is striking our nation, especially with young kids. I constantly am aware of this for my own children. I imagine they will be fine scale wise but I want to teach them it is more than that...it's about being healthy, thinking about the healthy foods we put in our bodies, thinking about the unhealthy choices we make and making them less often. Anyhow, I do think we are in the right direction. Griffin loves picking the lettuce from our garden and eating it right there...my little rabbit :)

nearing the end....

of nursing I think. I don't know for sure and if tomorrow she wants to nurse like crazy I will most likely comply willingly but since sunday and through illness she has only nursed 2 times. I have offered and she has accepted four times but only twice was it with any gusto. Last night she latched weird, almost like she had forgotten how to latch so I took her off to relatch..well, then she just snuggled into me and fell asleep. I am happy for sure if this is the end but so sad too. It means she really is growing up and it means she will be a bit difficult to soothe in the next few months. :( I know it is for the best if this is how it goes down because I hear horror stories from some of my friends (well, horror stories in my book, maybe not theirs) about kids nursing around the clock until 3 or 4 !! I just don't think I am cut out for that kind of body personal space sacrifice. My goal was 18 months with her and we have made it 19 so that is cool..we shall see what happens in the next few days.


oh, and bad side effect #2 of post ill child....must catch up with talking and moving. Griffin cannot sit still or stop talking...of course he is saying things like "it is such a beautiful day mommy" and "I am feeling good today, no more sick. that is great" and "it is a good day because I am feeling good" I love that kid....but stop talking. haha. oh, and we will have to start working on good and well...don't want him to end up like his mommy being corrected by patients for using it incorrectly....that and lie/lay. lol. I think I have it now.