Happy Birthday Sweet Girl

Paisley is three today! Oh my goodness it cannot be. How has this time flown so fast. Everyday she is more and more fun to be around. I love that girlie. Today we had a party for her with my parents, my aunt, and lots of friends. She was so cute in her hula skirt and flower shirt and leis all around. She graciously LOVED the attention, cake, and presents. She even eerily pinned the bow on luau hello kitty exactly in the right spot with a blindfold :) haha.

Love you baby girl. You are such a blessing to us.

Looking back and looking forward

I had a physical today. It was awesome. I love my dr. so much. It is refreshing to work with someone in the medical field who is helpful and aware of nutrition. Seriously great.

He said something that really struck with me. He told me that his thoughts are depression are founded in looking back too much and anxiety is in looking forward too much. More living in the now will serve a person well when faced with mild forms of these. This is sooo me. He really is not suggesting all people can be served with this method but many. He suggested I continue with my therapy and not look to medications at this time. He really feels that with what I am facing and my family history it could be counterproductive. He gave me some tools, support, and encouragement from his personal experiences. I seriously think he is just a great doctor!

off to make oatmeal!

have to let it go

I totally understand the frustration when your child is sick, even worse when the entire family gets some illness. But I don't understand making someone feel awful because your kid might have passed some illness to their kid. I mean, how do you prove that? ugh. I don't want to make kids ill. I do the best I can balancing illness, work, and expectations in the world. I just have to let it go, the anxiety from someone else. It makes me sooo sad though to feel sooo judged all the time.

Parent Teacher Conferences

Last night we had our first meeting with Griffin's teacher. He is doing very well which we already presumed since we had not heard from her much :)

They do not do grades yet so they have Exceeds (E), Meets grade level (M), Progressing towards grade level (P), and Insufficient.

He got M's in Reading, Writing, Science, Social Studies, and Music. He got P's in Math and P.E.

In addition he got 1's across the board for effort which is outstanding sans Music which he got 2's which are good.

Apparently Griffin is very great at participation. His teacher said he has his hand up to answer pretty much every time she asks a question. This made us chuckle because it is cute and because it is so Griffin-always something to say or contribute. He has a hard time staying quiet at home when questions are asked so we were happy he at least waits at school to be called upon. She kept talking about how interesting he was and how funny he can be.some of the stuff he comes up cracks her up. Now my personal impression of his teacher is that she is a bit stuffy, stiff if you will in her demeanor and by her own admission she is quite strict so it was soooo funny how she was commenting on his being funny...because she said it with a straight face. lol. Someone doesn't know how to laugh...haha. Cause he is funny, quite and I was happy to hear he shows that at school. Of course it coudl get him in trouble but it seems for now he knows when to be quiet and when to let loose.

I also laughed that his two favorite subjects, being music and P.E. were his "worst" marks. I mean, really they ask him, HIM, aka tone deaf child of tone deaf parents, to sing alone and he does and he loves it. Of course he is not that great at it. haha. whatever. I hope he keeps enjoying it. and P.E. I mean, the kid is agile and loves to move but is just not good at sports. It is totally fine but also cracks me up. It reminds me of being graded on art in 7th grade. I stunk but loved it, the release of my creativity but it crushed me to get lower marks...made no sense that itwas graded so much on quality vs. effort but it was. So far Griffin seems oblivious to being "marked". He just likes learning.

All and all a great experience. Hope he continues to do well in school and loving it. His teacher is great and so is his class...we feel very lucky.

On a side note yesterday he wrote himself "Not Geu Pet" and drew a spider. It was supposed to say "not good pets" I was so proud of him!

short lived

feeling much better already this afternoon. weird, short bug. glad I am bouncing back and can clean this house. It is gorgeous here today so I opened the windows as well to air out our funk.

and the Mom..

goes down too. Hope it is short lived. I feel awful.

Another one down....

I effing hate this season and all it entails. Paisley went down tonight :( I HATE it. and I hate not knowing what to do with telling people we were in contact with, who to tell, who to avoid in the first place becuase they will freak out on me when I do tell them, avoiding telling those peopel because they will freak out on me. How to navigate work schedules, patients don't want to wait but they also don't want me to get them sick with our germs. Blech. I am in misery right now and I am not even sick. I want to scream. I can think of certain things that would resolve this in many ways for us but I hate inviting that into our life as well.....can't win for anything.

weekend of fun

All those things I was supposed to get done this weekend. Ha. I have been having fun instead. But really this has been a great weekend with more to come soon.

Friday night i worked late and brought home late dinner and beer to Lee. We watched bad t.v. and then crashed. We slept in yesterday while the kids did crazy stuff to the playroom and beyond but it was worth it. They usually eat every piece of fruit if we sleep in and that is what happened yesterday. haha.

The rest of the day we attempted to get a few things checked off our list but mostly that did not happen. Lee laid down with Paisley for their nap and I paid some bills while Griffin quietly played play-doh. When Lee got up we just talked and talked at the dining room table while Griffin kept playing. Then dinner out early with mark and kelly for a small anniversary celebration. it was short but great. Then off to a birthday party for a friend alone-Lee wrangled kids to bed-dancing, drinking, laughing, and popcorn. It was so much fun.

Today the time changed and kids were up butt early but they are playing well together at least. Lee and I are tailgating and watching the browns game today on a friend's boat. Oh fun!

TGIF

woke up to a pukey kid. He has only thrown up once thankfully but tis the season. That boy pukes if you look at him weird. Ugh. I am hoping it is an isolated incident.

We have sooo much to get done this weekend and next before our trip to st. louis. Mostly unrelated to travel but it is stuff that MUST get done. I am not excited about it but will be to get it done and then go on our trip!

I am planning the trip in my head in regards to the kid. I think they will do great until just before Dayton. Hoping to avoid movies until then and then going to get How to Train your dragon as a suprise! Griffin will be psyched. Then dinner and bed. woo hoo. This will work, right?

Family Man

I have been going to these parenting classes. They are great. I participated in the series last winter as well and was pretty excited it was back this year because it really hit home for me. This year has been just as good so far.

Tonight was about communication. So, I ask, what is the definition of communication? The one used tonight was: the transmission of information. Hmmmm. Yeah, I get that. But communication is not about talking, just transmitting. One Transmitter, one receiver. That's it. Talking, sharing, back and forth is actually conversation and you must be invited in some way to partake in this. Hmmmm. Very interesting. I mean, I totally know all of this but in application...yup, totally lost most of the time. I am going to really noodle on this in many aspects of my life, especially parenting.

Lastly, definition of argument? His given was: the forcing of your opinions or thoughts to be received. So if I am not invited to a conversation but instead am just being transmitted information and I put my $.02 in what happens? defensive behavior from the transmitter and low and behold many arguments. It has happened this way a LOT recently for me and tonights conversation just really opened my eyes. Listen, stop judging, and wait to be invited for conversation.

I love the family man.

Early Onset Anxiety?

Today was Tuesday. I don't typically get anxiety on Tuesday. Today I did. What was up? why? no clue but maybe that means tomorrow I won't?

maybe it was all the sugar over the weekend? I tried to get back on track today with food. We shall see how that helps.

Stuffs

Been awhile again, life just has been beating us down in the time department. ha. We have been having fun too so don't feel too bad for us :)

Recap: colds, part 1 and 2; work; parenting classes; birthday parties; 5Ks; parties in general; football; dexter; travel to Louisville; pumpkin patching; harvest festivaling; baking; cooking; jumping in leaves; playing with friends; fall hikes; oh and a visit from Papa!

Did you know honey can be used for a cough? Griffin was left with a persistent night cough and two nights ago he was bothered by it straight for an hour. I got him up and tried to help him stop the cycle so he would not throw up (lord knows the path we go down if that starts with this kid). Water helped for like 30 seconds. Percussion on his back helped for another 30 seconds. I went looking for some cough syrup but did not have any. I debated a trip to the drug store but it was late and he was dozing through the coughing on the couch. So I thought about it. Hmmmm...honey? that might do. I googled and got mixed reviews but the claims all had the same theme, it can't hurt and might help. So we tried it and it helped a LOT. So tonight he happily took his tsp. of honey before bed and is not coughing at all.

Our 7th anniversary is next week. Crazy! We are planning a few small evenings out...just to spend some time together. It will be nice.

Kids were Skeleton and Princess Ballerina for halloween. Lee was Bob Ross the painter and I was his happy little cloud. I had fun! Great weekend of wearing costumes and being silly and hopped up on sugar.

We also ran our first 5K and the kids each ran a mile for charity. It was a great experience...my muscles still aren't letting me forget.

attitude adjustment

I need one, big time. I am hoping to regroup today if possible...I will report back later :)

Griffin's game and Paisley's art

Griffin has been really into drawing and writing and mimicking school these days. He plays this game where he draws a picture and then asks us yes/no questions about the picture. It is confusing to say the least but he loves it and I think it is using a part of his brain that he does not often sit still long enough to use...so I try to play along. I sure wish I knew the rules better though.

Paisley loves to drum hence I put drumsticks on her wish list. For now she uses what she can find around the house: wooden spoons, colored pencils, markers. Today she had markers while I was cleaning the kitchen. I heard her drumming and then she was quiet but I figured she was just watching the show that I could hear had just began. NOPE. She was coloring....all over my walls and stairs and window and laundry basket and her baby's head. It is not washable so I guess we will be staring at that for awhile. Ugh.

Griffin Story

This story talks about periods so if you don't want to read about that then stop reading.


I was raised in a family with two girls, my mom, and my dad. My father was always pretty understanding of us being girls and all that entails....I am sure he felt he didn't always do a great job and sometimes he did not but overall he was pretty sympathetic to cramps, bleeding, hormones, emotions, etc. I then married a man who is also quite sympathetic and considering he was raised with all boys and only his mom as the girlie I think he is very nice to me when I am emotional and feeling awful. My 5 y.o. boy? Yeah, not so much. He can make me feel like the most worthless, vial lepar when I am bleeding. The other morning was not unlike many and he barged in when I was going to the bathroom. I happened to be changing my tampon as well. He exclaimed "oh gross. gross, gross, gross" and ran out. Obviously I am an adult so I did not cry or yell or even both to address him on this topic but it hurt my feelings.

I asked Lee about it and how he thought he was taught to be so kind and gentle with women as well as understanding. He said that in part it was from his father's action but also by reading science books and the like. I asked if he would address this with Griffin as I did not think I could get into his brain. Griffin was treating me like he was superior, what with his penis and non-bleeding. lol.

Lee never said he spoke to Griffin but the next day while Griffin was taking a bath I told him I had to run downstairs to grab something. I got to the bottom of the stairs and he yelled "mom."

me: "what. I will be right back."
G: "no, wait. I need to tell you something."
me: "what?"
G (yelling): "I'm sorry about the blood. I'm sorry about the blood."
me: "thanks for the apology. it's ok. you just hurt my feelings."
G: "thanks. you hurt my feelings too."

haha. good lord this kid. maybe this was funnier in person but man, I crack up laughing about him and his macho attitude.

Happy Wednesday

I know today is thursday but yesterday was wednesday and it was happy. It is the first wednesday in a very long time that I can remember ending the day as happy or happier than it began. For some reason i have been noticing this trend (until yesterday) of a lot of anxiety at the end of the day on wednesday. I have been desperate to figure out why so I could change something so as to avoid it. Still no clue but man it was nice to have an anxiety free wednesday and enter into my day off feeling pretty awesome! Happy thursday too.

chalmer

thinking about him a lot recently. it is weird how that comes in waves. At first (or even before the end) I thought about him nearly daily, sometimes most of the day. Then not as often, sometimes never in a day. More recently, like the past three weeks, something has reminded me of him daily. Whether I pass by his house, or a patient asks about him, or a joke reminds me of him, or I see his phone number in my phone (which I just can't take out yet). yesterday Lee and I were discussing his current job. It is for an agency and he said parts of it are just as the show mad men portrays....I laughed to him and said "your grandpa would love it, wouldn't he?" he agreed that Chal would love hearing about the stories and successes of this company...of course relating it back to his times working for an agency :) He always managed to do that.

anyhow, I struggle often with the thoughts of death and the "after" but yesterday it was pretty clear that at least in that moment chalmer was quite aware of the stories and Lee's new adventures. It felt good to feel him still in our world. Hope we can relay that to the kids effectively over time as well.

p.s. I worked 15 hours today and although it felt good, it was too much.

making of a bad day?

This one had all the possible components: woke feeling rushed and confused after a restless night's sleep, raining out and Dreary, cramps, medicare teleconference for 2 hours for work (blech), new patient totally awesome and totally great but felt like I could not help, more rain and lots of it just in time for me to get drenched. THEN I picked up the kids and they were nothing short of obnoxious.

So how did this turn into a much better day? I just surrendered to it, I complained a little to kelly, and well, the kids started playing together adorably. It is still raining but we had breakfast for dinner since Lee is at work late and I caught up on some chores while they played. I think bedtime will be pretty easy as I have seen them both yawn just enough to know they are getting tired. then I will put up my feet and tackle some paperwork. Early to bed as well for a kick my ass wednesday.

School teaches us all lessons

So, this week is spare change week at Griffin's school. They (the school) sent home a paper that said they were collecting spare change from us (the parents and kid) for a FUNdraiser for Fun things at school. The letter said they would accept checks, cash, and coins (only rolled pennies).

So yesterday I went to the coinstar and cashed in our spare change. It amounted to $48.63.

Today Lee sent Griffin with said monies to school. Later today Lee got a phone call from them.

Them: "this is not an emergency but Griffin showed up here with a lot of money...."
Lee: "yeah for the spare change fundraiser."
THem: "oh so you meant to send that much? Oh THANK YOU!"
Lee: "Yes. We have a spare change jar and so does Griffin. Since he donated his, we decided to donate ours as well."

Griffin (after school): "We are in 1st PLACE!"
Lee: "by a little or a lot?"
Griffin: "by a WHOLE lot"

can you say SUCKERS? haha. why would they not be more specific in their request. I seriously had no clue....He better get the damn pizza party now. haha.

cleanse

we are starting this week, probably wednesday! I am pretty excited although we have promised to be lax slightly or shall I say "easy on ourselves". I am not quite sure what that will mean yet but we will give it a good shot!

Wish List

putting this here just so I can keep adding to it and not forget when someone asks or I have monies to spend.

Me and Lee: mandolin for kitchen, vitamix (haha yeah, right), small dehydrator, pizza stone (pampered chef-really I just want to have a party and get many items from them), bread pan (large-pampered chef would be great again)

Paisley:drumsticks (nothing fancy, just plain old drumsticks from a music store), leggings ala hanna anderson or carters (size 3 or 4/all colors), hello kitty backpack, crocs (berry/black size 8/9), zhu zhu pet but only a girlie one (ha), tighter fitting long sleeve tops for under dresses and tee shirts for winter (size 4T at least-monkey arm girl, all c0lors but definitely white, pinks, purple, gray)

Griffin: http://www.zhuzhupets.com/ he seriously plays with the two he has all the time!
batteries (energizer rechargable for the pets above), size 5T hoodies (lighter weight and heavier weight/4T if really big or even size XS in boys), size 5 slim pants (his legs are long and his butt is small), crocs (size 10/11, brown on brown)

Me: new hair brush-flat from sephora (the one I have is awesome but several years old at this point), make up (some essentials)

http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P69908&categoryId=C10451&shouldPaginate=true

day 8 No Poo

It is going well. Wednesday I used some baking soda mixed with water and my hair was awesome for two days. By last night it was not oily feeling but I could smell it a bit. Today I used just a little bit of baking soda water and it cleaned right up. Really happy with this so far....amazing!

Cooking

Today I made soup. I also cut up and ate with the kids a cantelope and watermelon, baked 2 pumpkins and their seeds, steamed a bunch of wilting swiss chard and then pureed it and then froze it for later use in soups or sauce, and I hand squeezed some concord grapes into juice. I shoudl go pick the tomatoes and freeze them but that might have to wait. Maybe I will have Lee do that tomorrow.

The soup is so good.....leftover chicken from last week made the broth and chicken, squash, zucchini, carrots, celery, red onion, garlic, swiss chard, and orzo/couscous blend from TJs. Added some basil, oregano, salt, and lemon pepper! I love soup.

veggie burgers

veggie burgers


I totally want to try these! yum

Ever feel out of your body?

Like you don't understand how you got where you are or understand who you have become? It is so odd when this happens and especially when it happens during a great day, a successful day, a happy day. I have been noticing for some time now that wednesdays means two things for me: long, hard work day and the feeling above. It seems that the two are connected and I think in addition the feeling above is actually a form of anxiety. I can be totally happy and something will suddenly shift and I have panic feelings, or don't feel myself, or begin dissecting my life, interactions, and relationships. And then it passes just as quickly. Really strange stuff.

CrockPot Oatmeal

I made this last night and Paisley and I have been manging on it all morning. She LOVES it! I got the groats at Leaf last night and the farmer said they were freshly cut....so amazing working with the farmers directly.

Groat Oatmeal in CrockPot

we put some raisins and a little brown sugar in ours and microwaved for 30 s. this a.m.
Lee tried it with peanut butter, honey, and sliced bananas...he liked it too!

Can we shrink the U.S.?

it would be nice if I could take the United States and just sort of squish it together so my family could have their lives and I could have mine but we could be a lot closer in proximity :(

they all left this a.m. and I am sad. Paisley and Griffin both asked about them and we had tears. I know they will adapt but I hate it. I hate the all or none feeling of it all. boo.

Ok, done with my crying. I am still mad and sad but such is life. I chose to move here, right?

No Poo

i am trying something new. No shampoo. I am on day 4 and it seems to be going well. I will keep you updated. If you want to read about it here is a good breakdown

http://www.instructables.com/id/How-to-Go-No-Poo/

Right now I am not using anything else but water but since our water is pretty hard I have the apple cider vinegar and baking soda ready on hand.

2nd week done

and he is still happy to be going! This morning in fact Lee and I were subject to a "lesson" by teacher Griffin :) He was teaching us letters and words that begin with those letters and also about rhyming words! He is learning so much in such a short amount of time. It is truly amazing when there is a foundation how they can pick right back up. wow.

This week will be short due to Labor day and since we have had people in town I am anticipating some struggles getting back on a good schedule. We shall see.

The two things I see the biggest advancement in since the spring are cutting and writing letters.

A new week

I feel very much refreshed today. Not sure why....went to bed fairly late, did not sleep well (again), and then woke later than desired. But today is a new week and my family arrives tomorrow for a visit. Still much to do before then but I am just happier. Griffin is off to school excitedly again! yay! so happy he is enjoying his school experience.

First week of Kindergarten

We all did it. It was only 3 days but he was upset to find out there was no school yesterday so I think that speaks highly of his opinion of school. I had a harder week than he did but am doing MUCH better now. Heading into this week we have a full week and also relatives in town. I hope we can maintain a schedule for bedtime and also have some end of summer fun! I am sure it will be great.

Paisley is doing well with the transition as well. She likes her alone time with us and also picking up Griffin at school. So far we have walked or biked him there! THey both know his teachers name, Ms. Starr and it is so cute to hear them talk about her. haha.

I like to talk

or maybe I just like to be heard.

A friend of mine asked me earlier this week if I thought my therapist did a good job of addressing my issues or helped with my issues. I told her I thought so as I was feeling better and so that was good. I also told her that we often did not talk about what I thought we would talk about but what we did end up talking about helped me clear the cobwebs so then I could address other things.

So fast forward to my visit with my therapist this week. I was talking to her and I told her the above conversation. I asked her if she had a technique. She said that she tries to just go with the flow of the person in front of her and also the needs. You like to talk and so I listen. Ha ha. great. I guess I am ok with that. I do pay her but really? haha. Did I need to know this?

Oh well, it is helping so I will keep going.

Just as I bad mouth her....

she sleeps through the night in her own bed. Hmmmmmm. there is no rhyme or reason it seems. We will repeat what the sitter did last night (not much different than we always do) and hope for the best. She did get donuts in celebration this a.m. with eggs and bacon--a real treat!!

Lee's art opening

We went to Lee's art opening tonight. How fun! He had two pieces in the show, all alien themed. I am exhuasted but so very proud of him. A few friends and family came as well. So exciting to share his new work with everyone.

sleep regression

Paisley's sleep is getting worse. I just don't even know what to do anymore. She gets pickier and picker on where, who, how and when she sleeps. No nap does not even help this. In fact, it makes it worse. I have to think we are just going through a transition. The saddest part for me is that the sleeping in the same room seems to not be working for either kid :( They fight so much awake and not awake. Sure, there is an occasional loving moment but mostly Griffin does not want to be with her and then is mean or scary, then Paisley cries and does not want to be near him. It is just awful. She cries at almost everything, not really crying but whining crying. I feel like I need a restart button. And last night after over 2 months of never wetting the bed and months before that of waking with a dry diaper she wet in my bed. UGH. I am so tired this morning.

1st week review p90x

We made it a week and are going to keep going so I guess that is a good sign :)

I have gained 2 lbs. which is annoying although weight loss is not my major goal in all of this that part is discouraging. I did some reading and talking to friends and it seems that due to my low muscle mass beginning and the intensity of this program that I have likely micro-injured my muscles and they are retaining fluids. So, I should see that subside as I get used to the program and gain some muscle strength. I do feel different and look a bit different already too. My clothes feel better on which is the best!

We both liked although complained through the first two work outs, they are similar in technique although day one is harder and longer (core synergistics vs. cardo x). Lots of core work and cardio in them. Lee mistakingly had us doing a harder work out on day three than was suggested so that was soooo hard. Basically think 55 minutes of push ups with some weight work in between. OUCH! Day four was yoga which stretchy wise was great but was way too long and way too many downward facing dog. We are going to find a replacement for that day. Back and Legs was next, hard but was doable. We did it late which was the hardest part of it. Just so tired. Then last night was kenp-basically kickboxing and mixed martial arts with some yoga and tai bo kinds of moves. I LOVED IT! great work out and a great finish to the week. Today is a rest day...thank goodness. I am motivated by that and already excited about tomorrow.

I am still waking sore each morning but it is getting better. I can move around more easily and for the first time in forever I can stretch my hamstrings and reach the floor! amazing for just one week.

Today's updates

we started p90x. hope we stick with it. was a really great work out but I am concerned about time and of course hurting so badly tomorrow that we give up already. lol. I like the style of it all though and the count down aspect. I have always done well with things like that.

the dishwasher might be fixed. Time will tell but it has been doing its job so far so good :)

We got the kids to bed early tonight. Reason? No nap for paisley and excursion out for many hours for the entire family. They were both exhausted. GOsh I hope that means they will sleep well. TOmorrow we will do nap though so we can work out.

Browns football began tonight. Who is this team? Are we gonna actually be decent this year? No way.

we were invited to a playdate pancake breakfast tomorrow a.m. I really want to go but I am nervous because we don't know the people well. hmmmmm. morning will bring my decision I suppose.

bad news

I found out today a patient of mine has a very large, very aggressive tumor that is cancer in their back. It totally completely stinks. I feel so awful about it even though I was helpful in getting this patient to the proper doctors and a diagnosis but really? it sucks. crappy way to start the weekend. sometimes my job sucks. prayers for my patient please? thanks.

Harvest time

It is the heart of the growing season here in NEOhio. I am drowning in tomatoes, squash, peppers, onions, garlic, herbs, and fruit. YUM! We made spicy tomato lentil soup and fresh salsa tonight! oh so good. I am thinking of what else to make. I adore cooking with all this great, fresh, local foods. I have potatoes, corn, swiss chard calling my name to make some sort of chowder! why do I want to eat so much freaking soup right now when it is soooo hot? weird.

can't wait to eat tomorrow...nom nom nom

5 years, 2 months

How is my son 5 years and 2 months old? I swear to you he just turned 5. woh. and in less than 2 weeks now he is off to kindergarten. To say I am sad or upset is not true but I am anxious, excited, nervous for him, and kind of a wreck about all the unknowns. I do not deal well with unknowns. For example, I had to get blood drawn when I was young for possible mono. I was so scared and drilled my mom on how it would feel and what it would be like. She pumped me up good and I was ready....until it was happening and I freaked out. The nurse was cool though and basically laid it out for me "if I did not cooperate they would hold me down and do it" GREAT. so, I did it and guess what? the unknown was far worse than the actual.....good thing because the unknown was pretty bad. haha.

anyhow, K.....lots of unknowns..like pretty much all of it. We know his school but nothing of his teacher or classroom. We know nothing of the procedure for drop off, lunch, pick up. I am feeling extrememly nervous about all of that and honestly wondering how we will figure out what we are supposed to do. I keep asking people and they really are not very helpful....called the board of Ed and they said our home school would contact us...they have not yet so I keep waiting. I have asked other parents and they all say "oh you will figure it out". It is just weird.

5 years 2 months...the days are churning away and he is getting soooo grown up :( He is so much fun.

Splitsville

I currently know 5 couples that have gotten divorced, 2 thinking about it, and 4 others having troubles but working it out. It is so very depressing. This has definitely contributed to a weird and at times awful 2010 in my circle of people. I know the statistics but what they never warned with those statistics is that it might hit you all in one time span. Weird shit, man. I don't like it one bit. and that is the weirdest part, why should it even bother me all that much. I mean, some of these people are already MUCH happier being divorced. But, I am Allison, and I don't like change. Change makes me twitchy, it makes me evaluate my total being on this earth, it makes me think waaaay too hard. Nope. I don't like these divorces at all....BUT....I am trying my hardest to be happy for my friends that have moved to a better place and for those that are still working on that but know that is what they need/want. I am also thankful that is not where we are in our relationship. I guess that is the positive to all of this, we are very strong right now...for all his crazy and all my mucho crazy we are doing alright :)

Long overdue

hello there, it's been summer, and we've been busy. what more can I say to explain the absence? July was rough on me physicallly, emotionally, work load (probably because I felt physically like poop), and for many people in my life (which did not help the emotions for me). I am glad to see august!

Our dishwasher is broken. Lee has been trying to fix it and then accidentally broke a part but even with the replacement on its way the washer is not really working correctly. We are pretty sure it is a model defect (not under warranty) so we are now saving for a new one. blech. I hate saving for something...well, I don't hate saving, I hate parting with the savings. lol. Oh well...dems da breaks. haha.

Griffin is signed up for Kindergarten, his first day outfit is ready in the closet, he has his backpack and supplies, and new kicks. We still need to get him some cold weather school clothes but he should be good for awhile with his drawers full of tees and shorts. It is simply amazing he is beginning his school career! I am not really emotional but I am nervous for him and at the same time trying not to show that to him because that won't help, now will it.

Paisley is talking talking talking. It struck me last night that maybe this is why she is not sleeping, sleeping, sleeping :( I think I remember that from Griffin developmentally. She is mastering counting and her colors. She is not quite as big of an imp as her brother but she loves to sing and dance and play baby dolls. This morning she told me "my fay-vor-it colwers are pink, purpwill, and wed." haha. "r's and l's" messed up just like her mommy at that age.

ok, back to work...stack of papers to tackle and then off for a bike ride. Now that I am feeling better I have been putting exercise back in my regime. It feels GREAT!

A great Thursday

Today the kids ate well, rested, played pretty well together, got outside, did not watch too much t.v., borrowed books from the library, read said books, and were in bed at a decent hour. I am EXHAUSTED. lol. It was a great day though. I am also almost caught up on the laundry even though our drain is still not running very well. Oh, and I walked in the park with my friends for an hour/3 miles. Now to ice my knee, make the bed, and get to bed. Work is going to be nutso tomorrow and then four days off with the rents!

more on love

later in the evening I asked Griffin if he loved his sister. he replied, "just a little" as he held up his two fingers close together. I asked him if he loved me "I guess so". I told him I loved him and that Paisley loved him too. He said "Ok, I guess so". Already avoiding emotions at age 5. sigh. ha.

Sibling Conversation

In the car on the way to John's bday celebration this was the conversation we overheard.

Griffin: I don't love you.
Paisley: noooooo, I love you.
Griffin: I don't love you. you love people and get married.
Paisley: no
Griffin: You kiss and then you are married and you get flowers. don't you want to get married?
Paisley: no
Griffin: why not? you love flowers.
Paisley: no
Me: Paisley, do you wanna marry daddy?
Lee: I am already married, you can't marry me.
Paisley: no
Griffin: they kiss and then get flowers and then they are married.
Paisley: nooooooooooooooooo

or something like that and sounding just as insane. lmao

More Blahs

I have not had much to say. I really am still not feeling great...not ill, not depressed, just not myself. I feel like I am really really struggling with some big stuff and yet at the same time feel the most content I have felt in a long time....confused much?

Work is amazing and wonderful and yet I am really struggling with it. I feel like I just can't give enough to people which likely means i am giving too much of myself, wearing myself too thin so that I have no energy left. I should not end each week feeling like I need a vacation. I am much busier but I just feel so much pressure to do my job perfect. I know i do good work...I am proud of it but the pressure to keep it up, to always be "on", to always be healthy myself...it is currently overwhelming me big time. I mean, I am doing it, I am healthy, and I am living the dream but I feel extremely burned right now.

Home. Sigh. I miss my kids. I worry about them and lee. I feel like I am not with them very much and I also feel like when I am I am on them to "do stuff". I really think I am seeking simplicity in chaos....so that is what I am working towards. Getting rid of stuff we don't need, not only decluttering stuff but processes. It is a lot of work but I am doing it. I MUST because this cannot continue this way.

Last summer I had th emost amazing conversation with my aunt Robin. To many it might not have been amazing and likely it was nothing to Robin. She was razzing my uncle elliott about having too many boxes of "memories" and then noted he had like 5 boxes or something. I laughed thing she was joking. I said "well, how many do you expect him to have?" She replied, "2 would be reasonable, 1 would be better , like me." You have GOT to be kidding me? ONE box to sum up my life...and she is older than me. I pestered her on how this could be..how could she live with just one box? She said something along the lines of "if I don't have it I don't miss it. I only keep the very very necessary items."

After thinking LONG about this conversation I have come to realize that I will never be my aunt Robin, we are truly just different people BUT I do strife to remember that I won't miss things if they are not actually in my posession. I will either remember it lovingly or just not remember it and never know the difference. Is this me fighting the aging process...if I hold onto every little piece of my life then I won't ever forget and thus not age? NOT. haha. At any rate I am letting go of lots...it feels good and it is Hard and sad and emotional. Tonight I gave away a little preying mantus tea light holder that my roomie Jessica gave me. I never loved it but I loved it because she gave it to me and I love her.....so why do I have it in a box for years? no longer....good bye preying mantus. I am moving on.

Rain Rain water my gardens...

Yay. It has rained, even if just a little, each day since I planted the garden! This is great because watering is not the most convenient at the garden....of course I would have done it each day but now I did not.

I took Griffin out to run errands today: potato starts, costco, and Trader Joes. He was pretty good but man oh man he is really in a whiney, difficult place these days. I really really hope he grows out of this because it is incredibly challenging.

On the way home we have to pass the Rocky River exit which is not only the exit of Chal's old house but also where he is now burried. it brought it all to my forethought. Really strange still and sad. I had my first desire to talk to him again, just once :( I know this is nothing compared to how some feel after people die in their life but wow, it is giving me a glimpse of the pain.

Gardens planted!

Finally! I am soooo excited to say we finally got the gardens planted :) We have tomatoes, peppers, lettuce, broccoli, cauliflower, herbs, cucumbers, zucchini, yellow squash, carrots, snow peas, and marigolds to keep off the pests.

Paisley was my little helper and she was great. I cannot wait to see what happens with our harvest this year! yay! Not looking forward to the weeding though.

My dad made me cookies....

Well, really he made them for the wedding we all went to this weekend but I am eating them, thinking about him making them, and knowing they were for me :) haha.

I love my parents. This year and very recently has made me realize just how much. I am a lucky lady, girl, woman, whathaveyou...LUCKY. My family rocks all around even when they are pains in the asses. Am I making progress that I can now see this? Or is just timing? Who knows and honestly who cares.

Yum. these cookies are really yummy! Thanks costco, I mean, Dad!

Weekend away

What an adventure. Lots of traffic, good food, great company, and time away from the kiddos. I am so greatful to the friends and family that kept the kids for us so we could get away to celebrate with the LOVES! Love you all.

The kids were fine but Griffin is really going through some "issues" right now. Thank goodness I have friends with other almost or recent 5 y.o. because otherwise we would be seriously wondering WHAT is wrong with him. I have to think that some of it is just him struggling with being small still and wanting to also be grown up. That is tough stuff so I continue to give him the benefit of the doubt and be gentle with him. I know how hard it is though so I don't blame others if they cannot be patient with him.

Today is memorial day...an extra day off. Yahoo! I have already helped two men in my life with back issues though...lol. Never really off am I? We are going to head to mark and kelly's for a bbq with friends and family. I am blessed with so much happiness...life is good.

Ups and Downs

This week was long. With work, shopping on tuesday for clothes for today and next weekend, running around with kids all of thursday, celebrating Bonnie and John (they are engaged!) on Wednesday, and a small impromptu gathering last night of family including out of town family....whew. Today is Chal's funeral. It is still quite surreal. I can't describe it any other way. I am thinking back on him and my experiences with him and just don't want it to be over but of course it is. I am not sad persay just annoyed that this is life as humans know it. I wonder why we have the heartache. I guess it makes me somewhat ponder (or rather hope for) the existence of afterlife...otherwise what is the point? Ugh. It hurts to love people and then they are gone. And how will I relate to my children that this man loved them so very much...that he softened in their presence like no other? Somehow I hope I can because it is true...he loved The Griff and Boots.

My cousin Eric is dying as well...tumors all over his body. My father is visiting him and I just put my Grandmother on a plane to go as well. It just is not fair and even knowing that logically I am still mad.

yes, again, anger is my first reaction in life. I am definitely tired of that. I just want for some other emotion to float to the top one of these days. ugh.

Day 6 cleanse

Today my friend Julie and I cooked for the cleanse. We made lentil salad with cucumber, tomato, red pepper, fresh basil, lentils, and garlic expressions. We also made cauliflower/sweet potato curry-Zomg! It is sooo yummy. Then for dinner tonight we made asparagus and broccoli with grilled chicken and wild rice. It was such a fun day cooking together.

Today has been another hard day of this process. I just want junk food. I think it must be stress but I am trying to stay strong.

I took Griffin this a.m. down to the veggie/fruit warehouse for our coop. He thought it was cold but later did comment on how we went to a really cool place ;) Then he played while I sorted and talked to my friend Stacy. It was a nice morning. He was having soo much fun that he did not want to leave. Almost 5 kind of blows for all of us...he is just super emotional. I am guessing it is age related or at least hoping. I really really hope it does not last too much longer. oh geez.

Community Gardening

This a.m. we all went over to our community garden plot (literally 100 feet from our house-or something like that since I am really bad at measurements) to turn the soil to prepare for GARDENING! The kids had fun too after they stopped trying to kill each other and hurt all the tools we brought or others brought with them. We saw some HUGE worms which I think will be great for the plantings. Now to decide what to plant :) I am thinking peppers, carrots, potatoes, onions, and maybe some other things at that garden. We have tomatoes, lettuce and herbs at home. I might do some cukes and zucchini at home but now sure about doing them at the garden. Maybe. Also, would consider doing more lettuce at the garden but it needs to be watered frequently so I want more sturdy plants there in case I skip a day.

Hoping to get the grandmother involved a little :) (if she reads this-haha) so maybe she can help with watering and/or weeding here and there, and/or harvesting when the time comes.

Oh yum! I am sooo excited.

Day 5 of the cleanse was good.
Breakfast: smoothie and egg scrambled
Lunch: Lee made chicken sausage, sweet potatoe fries baked, and a salad.
Late Lunch (hey, I did a lot of manual labor today since after our gardening we came home and did the yard too): turkey burger, red pepper strips, and cup of lentil soup leftovers
Snack: orange
Dinner: Taco salad with chicken (did not really want the chicken-protein?)

Now I want some tea but worried it will keep me up. hmmm.

RIP Chalmer

Lee's grandfather died tonight. It was very peaceful and we were all over there which was nice. I am so happy he is not in pain any longer and he fought so hard even at the end. Just a really strong man. I am going to miss him though. He was at times a crochety old man and he repeated his stories frequently but I liked him. I most enjoyed when he came in as a patient and we talked about all sorts of things: Lee, BILs, my kids, his old times, healthcare, politics. I learned alot about the family from his eyes during those visits. I liked working on him too....I learned a lot as a doctor too from him. He always seemed to beat the odds over the years in regards to his health-he survived Polio at 5 y.o. just to name one! He was always quite proud of that fact. He was always quite proud of his waistline remaining the same over the years....he would tell me how most men could not wear the same pants as they did 20 years before but he could. cracked me up but he was right. He seemed to measure his health by his waistband. ha.

I am glad we can sleep tonight knowing he is at peace. I am happy he is no longer suffering...that was the worst part of all of this. To think he might be, to see him frustrated with not being able to communicate, for him to die this way.

I brought Griffin over there yesterday morning. We asked Griffin if he wanted to see him and he said he did. On the way he asked me if he would be awake to talk to him. I told him I was not sure and if he was awake he would not be able to talk. When we arrived he was sitting up and alert. He recognized griffin immediately and was quite excited! He said something like "the boy". He just loved the kids so very much The Griff and Boots. Griffin told him he loved him and said he was going to miss him. It was wonderful and sad. I think it was nice that it all happened the way it did...that griffin could see him, that he was alert, that it seemed to make an impact on him. Tonight I brought Paisley over there. We did not go in until after he died but I am thinking he knew his Boots was there. She knew whose house it was...my smart girl.

I am off to bed. To chal...love you grandpa. You rock!

Day 3 and 4

Kind of a blurr as we were on dying grandpa vigil.

Day 2

It was a rough night of sleep. I went to bed annoyed because of the basketball game...I know petty but what can I say? I care. Paisley was asleep in our bed with a high fever and she woke a few times for her juice and/or just to snuggle. Then 5 a.m. in comes Mr. Man wanting to crawl in bed because he had to pee but he also had peed his bed? I was exhausted so I just let him. Man he is the worst to sleep with....he took most of the bed and add in there the dog. I was a squished momma. 7 a.m. and he pops awake jibber jabbering at me. YAWN!

Tried to get my act in gear to have a good day but 1/2 way through I realized I had an early patient scheduled and I needed to bolt. Did manage to grab some snacks, make my breakfast, and get clean. But forgot my supplements and will have to go home for lunch. I got to work and my patient was waiting for me. NOT a good start to the day.

On the menu....no clue but I will update later after I eat.

Breakfast, one egg scrambled, smoothie with protein powder, missed supplements (will make them up later).

Lunch: very large salad of herb mix with cukes, tomatoes, red pepper, green pepper, cranberries, and chicken grilled on the foreman. Used garlic expressions dressing. Had a side of supplements ;)

Day 1

Breakfast of smoothie and one scrambled egg.
water
Lunch of avacado, cukes, red and green pepper, with salt, olive oil and vinegar, pepper
orange
water
Dinner planned of White fish poached over sauteed spinach, garlic, olive oil....broccoli/cauliflower on the side.
Smoothie for desert
water

Oh, and tons of supplements...cannot forget those buggers.

Cleansing

We begin tomorrow. We will have to cut it short a few days to go party in chicago but I am sooo excited! Yahoo to feel cleansed! haha. It is going to be hard though I know. I will check in again soon to update the situation.

Angels bowling

We have had some really bad storms rolling through tonight. One of them woke paisley and she was quite scared fo the lightening and thunder. I tried to tell her it was just the angels bowling. I don't know why...it just came out...probably because i had been drinking a little. haha.


Lee chose to explain to her about the air colliding at different temperatures. I cracked up . She gave him a raised eyebrow. lol.

I wonder what she thinks of her parents tonight.

Good, Quiet week

This week has been pretty chill. I needed it. Still working working but it has been quiet around the office and the kids have not been too wild. Today is my day off and Lee is off to work on his books at a coffee shop. I am really loving many aspects of this new life. Of course he also has a job interview today...lol. It always seems as I get comfy life takes us in another direction...hard to swallow for this planner. But I am taking it in stride (and mostly ignoring the possibilities). I will just soak up this glorious spring day!

cleaning

Lee and I just spent 7 hours cleaning our house...the deep cleaning kind. I feel quite awesome although completely exhausted! maybe I cleaned out some bad juju cause I could use some good kind :) The last time we cleaned behind the stove and fridge was right before Paisley was born (a couple days) when my parents were visiting. I guess we were all nesting at that point :) I cannot believe we waited that long to do it again other than it is quite a project. Tis done now and on the calendar for 5 months to be done again!

Sick Boy...Again.

I am so sad for my boy. He is sick again. This time aches and a high fever. He is passed out on the couch and has been all day. It always comes out of nowhere for him and hits sooooo hard. Poor kid. I sure hope none of the rest of us get it.

After working all morning I decided to tackle a sore spot from yesterday...picking up our prescriptions. Last night I totally lost it because I forgot to pick them up and it was the last day of our good insurance. On my way today I sort of realized it was possible they already put it through the insurance and by picking it up today would mean very little....and I was correct. So last night getting upset was for nothing. The stupid scrips still cost me a shit ton. stupid meds.

Then being upset last night got even more ridiculous when I got home and looked through the mail. Apparently Lee's old company sent us the wrong cobra ins. information initially. They had quoted it out at a much higher rate than was true. So the mail today had the corrected quotes....UGH! What the hell? So, now I have to figure out if the application we put in for self paid health insurance can be stopped so we can do this cobra stuff. It will cost a bit more but is MUCH better insurance.

So, the roller coaster I am on. I am not in charge of the ups and downs apparently but I still have to remember my reactions are in my control.

Rough Day Yesterday

I have a patient who makes a LOT of money. Many would love to have all that he has. I see the darker side of his life though: the stress, the worry, the loneliness at times....all the things I struggle with now only amplified in ways I would NEVER want. I don't want that. All I desire is comfort, ease, and maybe a vacation without worry once a year. Will I ever get that though? I am beginning to doubt it unless I seriously reevaluate my approach to my thinking. It's not because I can't make a lot more money because I can and might. It is because I have this thought, many thoughts, of deserving something. I believe in hard work as well but do I really know what hard work is. Is this privilege? Am I spoiled? I think I am selling myself short and this must change. Deep down I know what it takes to get to where I want to be but I just don't do it. I resist it. I isolate myself. I respond poorly.

Yesterday was a tough day. It was many ends and I did not cope well. Last day for my current secretary, last day of our Y membership, last day of our good insurance, oh and one first....first day of our unemployment check. I DID NOT COPE WELL. By the end of the day I was in total breakdown mode. and what was my first response? Anger. Why? It has been my first and often only response this past year and I am tired of it. I have been working and working on it and yet when life goes to chaos I get angry. I know anger is rooted in fear and for me that could not ring more true. But I am sick of it. I MUST change this because I want to be rich in life.

Today is another day. I will keep working on me. I started out right I think. Woke in a better mood, kissed my kids and husband goodbye, took my vitamins, grabbed some food, reflected on the drive, and am now refreshed and off to worked.

Swimming

I took the kids swimming at the Y since it was our last day of our membership. We will still have opportunities to swim once the weather is nicer but that could be awhile.

Griffin had his muscle suit on and it did not take long for him to begin swimming all around. I was not sure how Paisley would do since the last time we were there she wanted to just take off, of course she does not know how to swim so this led to a lot of frustration on her part. Rinse and repeat is how it began but then she asked to put a life vest on. That was pretty good and she was figuring it out and becoming less afraid of being away from me but she could not keep herself steady and kept flipping to her back. Then she asked for this swim belt. I was not sure how that would go but WOW! She did amazing. She had that and a pool noodle and was swimming around all by herself in under a minute. Then about 15 minutes later she wanted to get rid of the pool noodle and was swimming with just the belt. She had to work to keep herself up as the belt just assists. It was sooo cool to watch. And wow! she is powerful....she was trucking around that pool. Right before we left she took the belt off and I swore if we had stayed a bit longer she would have taught herself to swim. lol. I am definitely getting those belts for the kids and some pool noodles. Yahoo!

Oh and they both slept amazingly well tonight....NOT. why when they get overtired do they sleep like crap? They did sleep long though and seem refreshed this a.m. Sadly I am not as refreshed. haha.

Kids playing

Something has changed or maybe it is just this week but my kids have started being friends :) They are playing imagination games and including each other in their play. It is absolutely amazing to hear and see. I would like to think that it is something we are doing right but it is probably just a fluke, right? haha. We have started the obvious change of Lee being at home with them. Also, we began this button reward system that is also working. They decorated little treasure chests and when we deem appropriate they get a button for doing nice things, being cooperative, having a great day, etc. We can also take a button away for the opposite. So far we have only had to threaten taking a button once from Paisley and twice from Griffin. They are really doing so well with it. Time outs have never worked for us and other forms of punishment are just not our style....positive reinforcement is what we have to work with and it is working!

Meal Planning

We are trying hard to have healthier meals that we can all eat and also save or keep on our budget for food.

This week:

Rotisserie Chicken, rice, and veggies
Leftover chicken made into chicken noodle soup for lunches
Veggie stir fry with egg for protein
homemade pizza (again)
Homemade mac n cheese with two veggies
Pasta with bacon, broccoli, and parmesan with cauliflower on the side

It is HARD to find meals that meet all the requirements above. Any other suggestions? Griffin is not a meat eater although he did try the chicken tonight, announced he did not like it but then happily ate the rest of the food (progress? I hope so). Paisley will eat meat but not ground beef. Lee and probably neither of the kids will eat shrimp. Lee does not like eggs which actually eliminates many of my ideas: breakfast for dinner, quiche, frittatas, etc.

anyhow, I will not lose hope. This will work!!

Last week:
fish fry at home
homemade chicken nuggets and veggies, sweet potatoe fries
homemade pizza dinner with my parents
quesadillas with homemade guacamole
chimichilatas (kids did not care fro this but we loved it and they ate parts of it)

Homemade fish sticks..

They were an even bigger hit than the homemade chicken nuggets. He LOVED them! He ate so much of them that he then said "you gave me too much food. my belly is soooo full." lol. We paired it with baked sweet potato fries and steamed broccoli and cauliflower (or as they call it white broccoli). It was really really tasty!

I am trying to decide when/how to make the step to branching into chicken/fish non fried. lol. I mean, this is still a HUGE step up for this picky eater. He LOVED it. But I of course want to make it even healthier once the taste is in him. I am just slowly trying to open up those taste buds of his.

Any ideas? I know we could bake them but I really think the next step still needs to have a bit of crunch so he will accept it. The way we made them tonight were not bad persay but I know they could be better. I am just beyond thrilled that he has eaten so well this week! we are making some progress finally.

Another week

I am plugging along in life. Everyday or every couple seems to bring a new hurdle. Over the weekend stomach flu. Yesterday my receptionist quit. These are just bumps in the road really but I am feeling beat down right now. I think my scalp is reacting to it all as well...something really bizarre going on there and I am trying to solve the puzzle. I have never had this kind of symptom to stress but I really think it must be what is going on.

The kids went to the dentist yesterday. Griffin did amazing. Paisley refused. It was expected. I wanted to get them in before the insurance runs out. Wow. new life, new reality. Slowly coming to terms with it. We went to friendlys afterwards for lunch. A treat for all of us!

Lee made dinner last night while I wrangled kids to bed. It is so much easier to come home and do that when I know he is exhausted. Oh how the roles have turned. lol. Then we ate dinner in peace and watched the Cavs win!! woot! I slept like a rock but am still tired this a.m.

Now off to my payroll quarterly taxes. hard to believe a third of the year is almost passed. woh.

Spring refuses to stay

I love and hate this time of year. The weather is beautiful and amazing like every 2nd day...the rest of the time it is cold, rainy, and blah. Why? we suffer so much during the winter...can we not have a decent spring? At least we are not needing the air conditioner like my parents discussed in st. louis....don't miss that at all.

Yesterday thankfully was gorgeous!! we were able to spend a lot of the day outside which makes my life so much easier. Outside all morning, home for lunch and quiet time (t.v. shows or playing alone or napping for the youngest), outside all afternoon, home for dinner, bath, and bed. It is a great easy day!! The breeze was blowing, the sun was shining, the kids were running.

I did realize yesterday how spoiled I am with Griffin. He is and always has been mr. independent. This is usually (like 95% of the time) a good thing because he plays well out and about, by himself, etc. At times it gets him into mischief because he explores more than he should without asking for help. Paisley is the one who always needs me out and about. She would rather sit on my lap than run around most of the time and she so easily gets her feelings hurt in a large group. I am hoping to encourage her independent play this year and also hoping she grows into that a bit naturally. It would make adventures much easier.

In other news, Griffin ate chicken for the first time last night. and by the first time I mean he ate REAL chicken, not processed crap chicken for the first time. He helped Lee make homemade chicken nugget bites and then ate them all up! G reported they were not quite as good as Redonalds (haha-not funny) but they were pretty tasty and he ate them all up. He and paisley also ate asparagus! woot. I am hoping this is going to continue with the opening up with the tastes and trying new things. It is not like we serve him gross stuff...lol.

1st day home with dad

My husband is a very involved father so even though today marked their first day home together he has had many days like this before. Today was different because it was earmarked as such and because he made it different...he made a schedule with the kids, they followed through with it, and wow! they were all pretty happy when I arrived home. The dishwasher was running for the third time this week without me having loaded or unloaded it at all. Lee is taking this all pretty seriously...now I am not expecting any of it...but it really is appreciated and making my life so much easier to focus on work!

the schedule is adorable....play time with daddy, snack time, meal times, learning time, movie time, dad-venture time, etc. I can't wait to hear about their days. We also discussed how life can be a bit "simpler" during the weeks and we can do more on the weekends. I am seriously breathing a sigh of relief...what? enjoy the weekend? ha. I cannot wait.

Long Week

I really cannot believe it has been a week since my last post...only a week? wow. It has been a very long week. A good week for us. A not so great week for many around me. A week of reflection, of pain, of death, of suffering...I am ok, so is Lee, so are the kids. But all of this is putting things into perspective and quickly. Lee's grandfather is dying. He has been for awhile now (we all are right?) but I guess it is progressing pretty quickly this week. I plan to pop over there tomorrow and see how he is doing. I realized in talking to Lee tonight that he is the grandfather that I have the most memory with, the most relationship with...I mean, I was raised with three grandpas. My grandpa carroll always made time for family, it was important to him but he was stern and my memories of him barring a few towards the end were quite rigid. My grandpa Larry was my "grandpa" grandpa....he watched football, sat in his easy chair, and was quiet. I loved him very much but a talker he was not. My grandpa Dewitt...great memories but they are few. He loved Wendy's and aquariums and drove with both feet on the pedals of his automatic car (haha). But Chal...well, he has told me the same stories a billion times about many men I don't care about nor did I ever know...but he has been a real presence in my world for the last 12 years. A constant and I have not had that in a grandpa figure for a long time, if ever. So, this is hard.

anyhow, a long week but we are doing ok. taking it all in stride and counting our blessings, looking for the silver lining as often as possible.

Rainy Thursday

The kids are waxing and waning between totally chill and totally bonkers today. I am blaming the weather and allergies. Right now we are all sitting on the couch chilling. I am starving but don't want to disrupt the quiet to feed myself. I mean, they have already eaten but surely when I feed myself they will want to be fed again. lol.

I am hoping to take them swimming this afternoon for family swim. I am also hoping to convince lee to come along. That will likely be the harder part. I don't want to nag. I am trying hard not to nag but I need/want him to come with us.

Life changes

we are going through some major changes over here in the Norris house. It is all good. At least I am thinking of it as all good. This does not mean it is without challenge but we are taking it in stride. My husband is now a stay at home dad and/or children's book author and no longer a marketing manager. what does this mean? well, first a significant pay cut and second a lot more free time :) well, not kid free time but work free time. We are excited and adapting. I will keep you posted.

In the meantime I continue to map out my own personal place in this life. I am forging new relationships with friends....deep, passionate friendships. It is great. I hope to be friends with these ladies for a long time. I still question how it will all pan out as our children age but I really try hard just to enjoy it and not worry. It is lovely feeling a part of something bigger than myself. and my kids dig it too.

Happy Birthday to Me

Got my hair done, walked around Target alone, out to lunch, and vegging on the couch. It was a great day! I was a little out of it because I woke with a cold but it was still great. A sunny, cold day here in cleveland early spring. That has been the hardest part of moving to Cleveland was realizing every single year my birthday is cold. Actually every one in our family has a cold birthday, even griffin. Paisley generally has better luck having a moderate birthday than any of us. That is just weird Cleveland, really weird. January-ok, that is explainable, March-maybe I will buy it, June-where is the heat? He was born in a heat wave. no heat since, November-two years in a row her day has been unseasonably warm. weird.

Dad in town

My dad came to see me for my birthday! I think he really came to see the kids :) Of course he is happy to see me too though. We cleaned the house this morning in preparation for his arrival. Then we went to pick him up from the airport. We were looking toward this one door but then dad came from the other direction. I saw him first in the rearview mirror. I told the kids and then Griffin spotted him from behind one of the pillars. He yells out "he was playing hide n seek with us." Lol. He cracks me up! They were both so excited to see him and yelled out "Papa. Papa. It's your daddy mommy." haha.

Paisley was in love. She was sitting with papa, snuggling with papa, showing off for papa. Then later she was pretending to be a puppy dog. My dad pulled the "puppy" up into his lap and she tried to lick him! ha. now that is love.

Griffin was psyched to have him here too. We were just hanging out and then he was very concerned he was leaving for good because he went to see Gudrun. That is the hard part...Griffin now gets that he has to leave so he gets nervous about it from the beginning of his stay :( I guess that is just reality but it makes me a little sad for all of us.

My mom is not here this trip . She is off visiting my sister in NYC and then off to a family bridal shower. I am excited for her! Hope they all have fun too. At least they are having nicer weather up there than here...snow again. YIKES!

Potty Learning

Paisley is doing so well with this. When I have the time and we are home she will tell me and often go on the potty, little or big. It is amazing to see it all clicking in her brain. I am hoping she will be totally in the groove by summer. It would be sooo nice! I will add though that a Potty learning toddler combined with diarrhea makes mom want to throw up (and not from the stomach flu but the the gross factor). I still did the potty dance though...I was still proud, just really really really grossed out.

Lost in Puke

I promise we have not all died. lol. I am pretty sure that Griffin wanted to when he was so sick. Poor kiddo. The rest of us have fared (or been spared) much better than he did. He is just the puker. Other than just trying to stay sane, work a lot, and enjoy the beginnings of spring. Thank goodness we made it another winter! I really do enjoy the changing of seasons but sometimes these cleveland winters are really rough, for lots of reasons.

will be back with more soon, soon!

Kingergarten

I have to sign Griffin up for public K in two weeks. wow! I am excited and extremely nervous. I assume all parents feel this but I feel like I am especially nervous because it is the big public school. Nothing wrong with public school but it is totally foreign to me..I never went. Guess I will figure it out, right? :)

Bacon Lover

This a.m. while we were still in bed Griffin comes running in "Guys guys. Did you hear on my radio. there is this restaurant where no kids are allowed. only adults. that makes me so sad." We tried to reassure him that it was ok and there are many places he can go so not to worry. Then he says "guys guys. this is important. The place is Lola. did you know that. no kids are allowed there. only adults. that is so sad." Haha. I told him that Michael Symon liked bacon so even if he could not go to Lola it was still ok because they both loved Bacon. Then he said "I want to go to Michael Symon then. Not Lola the restaurant, not the dog." haha.

I then put this little story up on Michael Symon's FB page. He said to go ahead and bring Griffin down to Lola and that kids come all the time. :) Yeah, thanks Michael but since I have still never been to Lola that is likely not to happen for some time...but good to know that it is kid friendly via the owner!

Baby Boo Boo

Paisley is finally identifying playmates. Her fav is baby boo boo (aka Devin) at her daycare. It is so cute how well they play together. Also Maura from daycare....M is 7 y.o. but they also play really well together. It is so cute and she is getting so big.

Her new phrases:

No way
My mommy, my daddy, my griffin (not new but said frequently these days)
Me too (like she is going out friday night with daddy-NOT, going to Kindergarten with Griffin-NOT)
I help, me help
My mommy goes to work, my daddy picks me up (when I drop her off at daycare)

She is really getting an opinion. This is trying many times but overall isjust great to explore with her. Such a sweet little girl

Ill again?

Here we are on another day off and spending it at home because Griffin said he was sick. Then he seemingly forced himself to throw up to prove that he was sick. When I told him we could no longer go to playgroup he got a bit upset. Then he was fine and annoying and generally acting not sick even in the slightest. We ate some breakfast...toast for him with some juice. i told him if that settled he could eat more. It did so after an hour I let him have some smoothie and pancakes. yeah, that did not stay down. So, is he sick? Is he not? He also had some diarrhea. But he is NOT acting sick. He is acting decidedly well actually, no fever, no cold, no anything. But he is needy and anxious and cries over weird things like I raised my voice. Is this illness or anxiety? Ugh. I hate this but yet another day spent wondering.

Uncles and water parks

Uncle John took Griffin to the water park. I am pretty sure they both had the greatest time. I love so much that the kids have great aunts and uncles. I look forward to returning the favor one day :) get cracking somebody!! haha.

Faker McFakey

or the Fakemeister....or better known as my son Griffin. I cannot figure out what is going on but he keeps claiming illness and symptoms but this kid is just not ill. I don't know what to do because no amount of ignoring and/or discussion can convince him that he is not sick and that he needs to not make up symptoms. I am going to have a serious talk with his teachers in the a.m. cause he will be going back to school.

ugh.

Trying twos

We are there. that is all. I know it will pass but man, it has hit like wild fire.

white flag

It is march. I am surrendering to poor etiquette and circumstance. Formal thank yous for christmas are not going to happen this year. I am very greatful and it breaks my heart to not send them. Excuse after excuse has kept me from doing them. Honestly though I have been tending to work, home, and my family so I know the ones who love me (and mostly the ones I was planning to send thank yous to) will understand and accept any thank you as enough. It still makes me feel like I failed.

so, thank you world. We were blessed so much this holiday season. I am so very greatful for the time spent with family and the lovely presents (they are always great too).

xoxo

My Knee

Apparently I did something to my knee. I have zero memory of actually hurting it but about three days following my eardrum rupture I noticed it was painful to kneel. So for several days I avoided that. Then I was taking a bath and I realized it was kind of swollen. I felt it and there is a golf ball size swelling on the patella. I have been icing it three times/day for two days and it feels worse. Now I am really confused. All I can gather is that I must have done something to it while I was doped up on pain pills because it is not just a bruise that I might have forgotten about. It is really strange.

new technology

It always gets me. or gets to me. grrrr. I got a new phone. It was time but it is not without issues. I am trying to resolve them slowly, methodically and with help but it is very nerve wrecking :( I really think I have some sort of electromagnetic force that makes new appliances, machines, etc. not work the same way as they do for other people. I know this sounds ridiculous but it always happens. Yesterday I went to do a data transfer from my old phone to the new one. I followed the instructions and it only transferred 1200 files. Then lee came to help me and I watched as he did the same exact thing...yeah, it transferred 9600 files that time. WTH? I really do not get it...it is like a mean joke.

anyhow, all the important things and people seem to have made it back into my phone...although I am realizing each day that one or two people are missing. so if i don't answer or reply to something it might be because I don't recognize your number. I am figuring this out slowly, I promise.

Paisley Talk

she is talking so very much now, most often expressing herself in words. It is great fun.

some of my current favs (even if they are annoying too)

"there perfect" as she fixes something or puts the finishing touches on something

"no way"

"My Griffin, My mommy, My dadddy"

"yesh" (Yes)

there are more but I am blanking...will try to add to this through the day as I am sure to hear them.

handsome Dude

Lee got a little more dressed up than usual this a.m. for his lunch date :) When he entered the room Griffin said "daddy you look so nice". Then he said "Actually (in his very Griffin way) you look like a dude. very handsome". "Actually you look duded handsomely" Hahahaha. It was so great! I love both my dudes and they are quite handsome.

Back from the dead

sort of ;) I am no longer in extreme, all the time pain and I am also no longer on pain meds and I have been back to work all week. So, I am all better, right? Eh, sort of. Ear pain ended in a very painful ear infection and then rupture thursday night. After an ER visit (which I dreaded) and a comatose day in bed I was doing a lot better. Too bad I still cannot hear. Tomorrow I shall call the ENT to schedule a follow up appointment. Ugh. I am just hoping for spring at this point so we can get outside, colds can be behind us, and my hearing should be restored!

Nothing much else going on. Office is having another great month and I am trying hard not to feel like the other shoes is going to drop. It is weird to have both a good january and a good february but I will take it!

Lee continues job hunting. Lots of uncertainty there but we are moving ahead with our plan B so we are no longer as panicked about any of it. WE are in charge!!

Ok off to make some sort of egg/toast concoction. maybe egg in a hole or poached eggs on toast or french toast?

THe day was going well....

but now I feel like crappola. Ugh. My ear is killing me.

Earache

It has moved to my ear. I am doing all I can to kick this cold and hope and pray the kids don't get it. blech. I have not had a true earache in years but yesterday afternoon my ear started paining me. I got out the ear oil and it helped a lot. More cold socks last night which also helped me not only sleep but take away my chest congestion/cough. When I woke around 5 a.m. with hot feet the bottom of my left foot had a point on it that was on "fire". It was most certainly an accupuncture point and it was soooo tender, radiating energy. I want to look that up today as to the organ system it relates. Wow. This morning it is still tender. Not the kind you can't walk but to the touch, it wants to be touched though. wow. I am amazed by such things.

off to take more vitamins and some ibuprofen for aches. Ugh. go away cold.

Wet Socks

Everytime I am ill I whine inside my own head that I want my mommy or someone to take care of me. This time apparently that voice was heard by my husband as he was so sweet to me yesterday and very patient with my impatience. I also listened to my own mothering instinct and did a few things to help my illness out. Last night I wore wet socks to bed with wool ones over top. It is something I have heard about for a long time and have used on Paisley before with success. I could actually feel them dropping my body temp. and allowing me to drift into sleep. I woke at 4:30 a.m. after a very sound sleep BURNING up, not from fever but from the socks. They were dry and had risen my body temp. It was pretty crazy. Then I tossed and turned until the alarm went off but I did have a great night's sleep before then. Wet socks for me again tonight.

+/-

The pluses are outweighing the negatives still for the most part and for that I am happy. I will take it and go with it.

I am exhausted today. I stayed up too late two nights ago and then normal bedtime last night. It was not enough sleep. I should have gone to bed early last night but I wanted to hang with lee and watch a little t.v. after our visit to the gym.

We did back and abs last night. Those machines were hard. It proves to me yet again how weak my core muscle strength is. blah. I can do legs pretty much no big deal but arms and abs are way hard. Everything is getting better but childbirth really did a number on my body.

making bread

At what point do I just say I am ok with the size I am so I can keep eating what I want. Like my homemade bread. It just came out of the oven and I want to eat several slices. Ok, I already ate several slices and now I want to eat more. Ha ha. and drinking beer and wine. I want to do that too but now I find myself deciding if I want to waste the calories. This is so not my typical and yet my metabolism has been telling me since last summer that I best listen up.

mmmmmm bread.

A day with my girl

Paisley's sitter called this a.m. to say the heat was not working. She suspected it would be on by 10 a.m. I had some errands to run first thing so I figured I would just run them and then check in about the heat. I called her around 9:30 and she said it had just come back on. I wanted to take P to playgroup at that point so I just decided to keep her home all day. We had a blast overall.

She did a lot of running. We did some tidying. SHe did yoga with auntie Tamara. We watched a little t.v. She took a nice long nap. We read some books. We did a little laundry.

and now at 10:12 p.m. we are still hanging out. Such the momma's girl :)

prayers please

nothing life threatening but if you pray would you mind just a few sent our way. Lots of uncertainty and although I know in life this happens I am just needing some encouraging words to stay focused. I KNOW everything will be ok, work out, etc. I just want to keep my mind centered on THAT and not panic.

thanks.

Foot rub

Paisley gave me one tonight. I asked her if she would and first she crawled into my lap and stuck her feet in my hands. haha. I clarified that I wanted HER to give ME one. So she got down, pulled off my socks and basically tickled them. Then I gave her further instruction to squeeze and press certain spots. She actually did really great albeit short. I told her at one point to squeeze harder. Hysterical...she did squeeze harder but she also squished up her little face as she did it. I love her so much. I will have her pro by next year!

Headaches

I have been having them more and more. Right now it is because my chiropractor was out of town for the past 10 days. how dare he. haha. I seem to get them from lots of sources though recently and think I should start tracking to really figure it out. It has not been this bad since I was a teen or earlier. I hate it and just cannot keep taking ibuprofen for them.

So, here are a few triggers I know:
my knee socks
bottoms of my feet getting tight
working out (bummer)
dehydrated (working on this)
hair down too much
hair up too much
stress
sugar? maybe but not sure on this
not getting adjusted enough--his schedule is the same as mine and I admit I just don't always make it a priority. I need to though because this will likely be the best solution.

Griffin's homework

Griffin is learning his letters which will lead to reading. He is getting it and it is so cool to watch. I never really gave this process much thought before now because many of the moms I hang with are really relaxed about it all and I remember my own learning process and it was pretty relaxed. So here we are and I am in awe of watching him soak it up. He is incredibly awesome at the letter H. He also gets G pretty well along with the letter J. I keep trying to figure out why those letters are easier for him than say B, D, and of course the vowels (those make sense since they don't make sense). I will have to ask my friend Jessica who is a speech pathologist. The science behind all of this is fascinating to me.

Tonight he had to do a review worksheet and did great at it. At least the stuff is sticking!

The only part that worries me is he just gets so nervous with the one on one learning. If I work with him he gets flustered and then suddenly cannot do it or won't, I am not sure which. If you work along side him on something he works too and does it perfectly (well for him perfectly). what is that about? Lee noticed this at his school too...if a teacher is working with 4 of them he does fine but less fine when the teacher is working one on one with him. I am hoping this means he will be an incredibly wonderful team player :)

My running girl

Paisley loves to run. It cracks me up. She often asks permission to do this or will request that you come with her. It is her favorite pasttime at her daycare as well. Run run run in circles. She will be a marathon runner maybe?

If you ask her to do something or if she wants something often she will say "no. I want to run." and then off she goes. haha.

Tonight we were working on pottytraining so she was naked butt. and running. ha. nothing cuter really.

Working out

We are trying. So far we have had a good week of two work outs together and I had two others. My body is feeling it for sure but it is also feeling it which is great :) Hope we can keep it up without killing ourselves.

Being Selfish

Bedtime is just never very much fun. I wax and wane in my head about whether to force it or just wait until they drop like flies. lol. Neither is great so most times I try to strike a balance, hitting their tired point right before peak making them not crash but very ready for sleeping. Tonight I just wanted to watch the basketball game. I just did not want to put them to bed. I totally skirted my responsibility as a parent and then I paid for it big time. The tears, the not sleeping. Oh lordy. I just need to buck up and do it....stop being a selfish twit and put my kids to bed. Geez. I just really wanted to watch the game. lol.

Daddy is tall

Griffin reported last night that Lee was very tall and he could not wait to be tall like daddy. Lee then said to him: "I won't burst your bubble but really I am not considered tall."

Griffin then said "oh but yes you are. look at me and Paisley. We are very small. And you are very tall."

So cute. I love how he sees this world.

He then went on to talk about how he was going to grow up and be tall (adult) and we would live with him. Then he said since he would be tall that we the parents would become kids. Lee told him that was not how it worked and that he would have to get his own kids. He asked how he could do that. Lee told him "the birds and the bees" which I shook my head at and began to explain to him about how one day he could have a woman carry a baby for him if he wanted to have a baby. I hope that was ok. Griffin understands about babies in mom's tummies and then they come out and grow. I figured that was enough for now. I think this will all be a little easier to explain to P. lol.

plumbing and napping

Our basement drain has been overflowing. This happened in the past because the opening was not big enough. This time I had a feeling that "something" was in the way. I was right. It is a super ball down there but I cannot get it out. Will have to keep noodling on how to get it out since my hand is too big. I am seriously considering asking the boy....is that child endangerment?

The kids watched and helped me with this plumbing project at first. Then they decided that was boring so they made their way back upstairs to their room. I was checking on them here and there. Paisley asked to be up in the top bunk. When I came back after I was finished I found them both up in the top bunk. Griffin was sitting in his elmo chair up there reading to Paisley who was "napping". Hysterical. Grififn told me very exasperated that he was trying to get his sister to sleep but she was not cooperating. haha.

Then you can be a Todd a Ler

Paisley is obsessed with Griffin's school. She is really happy at her place of care as well but all the little kids and the toys gets her revved up when we drop him off each morning. Griffin told her the other day that she could not come to his school because she was not big enough yet. He said she had to wait until she was a Todd-uh-ler. There is a blank cubby across from him that he said she could have. This is the conversation this morning to follow up.

Griffin: we are going to my school Paisley. You are still not quite big enough. you are not a Todd-uh-ler yet. When you are a Todd-uh-ler then you can come and be in that blank cubby. Ok?

paisley: No way Griffin

Griffin: why not? it will be fun. you can play with me and be in the Todd-uh-ler room.

paisley: No way Griffin

Griffin: I think you should.

Paisley: no way Griffin

ha. I think someone has learned a new phrase. lol.

Bunkbed Drama

Paisley is fascinated with Griffin's top bunk. She cannot get up there by herself nor does she try but she wants us to put her up there. Last night he invited her to sleep with him. Of course lee and I both thought this was a terrible idea but the kids seemed into so we gave it a go. Ha. It was cute but that was about it. No sleeping, just lots of talking ensued.

Griffin: It is great when we sleep together on the top bunk.
Paisley: Yeah
Griffin: we should do this more often
Paisley: yeah
Paisley: gjaopdghiajepujdpibuiopueh;
Griffin: yeah

Games

When I thought about having a family one thing I did not think about much was playing games together. I guess for me games have always been fun BUT also often a source of conflict. What I didn't think about though is playing games with a 4.5 and 2 y.o. and how much fun it can be (even if still filled with conflict-lol). Griffin got chutes n ladders this fall and two games for christmas (cooties and a cranium game). We have been playing games more often and it is really a comedy of errors but fun nonetheless! Paisley is learning to roll the die. Griffin is learning patience. They are both learning to lose sometimes :(

Any suggestions for some other games the whole family could partake in?

Griffin update

Griffin has been exhausting but wonderful all the same. He is sooo energetic and it has been cold and dreary out. This creates some long days with not much to vent steam for a little boy. His energy is endless but even when he is tired he doesn't just shut down, he revs up...he has always been like this. So, we have been actually having him sleep more and this has helped a little. Lee thinks this just energizes him for the next day ;) which is true but at least we have fewer crying spells.

He is very busy learning about his letters at school and identifying the letters from his name everywhere in the world. I see that he enjoys praise very much which I am happy about but it also worries me. I was like this and I think it led me to living up to a lot of expectation I "thought" people had over me. Anyhow, I hope he continues to have a blend of motivating factors for learning.

He has become quite the helper. Sometimes I think this is because his sister LOVES helping and he LOVES razzing her so if he helps she gets all upset....it is oh so much fun figuring this balance out. Neither of them is quite old enough to do days of the week like my mom did with us but I tell you what, 2 more years and we are there if needed. SO, for now, we are doing a lot of turn taking and they are both improving each day.

He has shown so much more affection for his sister, including her in his play and really identifying with her as his sibling. I love seeing this...even with the bad that comes with it: the teasing, taunting, punching, etc. all the lovely things a brother does to his sister, right? She gives him a run for his money though so mostly I can stay out of it.

Griffin continues to show his sense of humor and artistic side of himself in the classroom and at home. I love this!

Lastly, two conversations in the car over the last couple weeks:

#1 Paisley: me snow, me snow (I think she was saying I see snow)
Griffin: you are not snow. you are not white. If you were white like your boots all over then you could be snow.
Paisley: otay Griffin
Griffin: and if you were white all over we could make you into a snow ball. then we would throw you at mommy. then you would be gone. then we would be sad because you woudl be gone and we would not have a baby anymore.
Paisley: otay griffin

#2: Griffin: mommy when I get big and paisley gets big we can be a mommy and a daddy.
Me: yes, and when you guys become mommy and daddy then we (mommy and daddy) will become a grammie and papa.
Griffin: yes but then you could get a little bit smaller so we could all be adults together, ok?
Me: (laughing) ok

Paisley Update

Paisley is getting to be so big. She is just a few months over 2 but she has quite the personality. She really really loves her older brother but it is amazing how much more delicate and sensitive she is than he was at the same age. She will be rough and tumble with the big boys and then get "hurt" which really is just in need of a kiss to move on...this happens several times in a minute. lol.

She LOVES helping. cooking, cleaning, sorting, folding, making beds, anything. the girl loves to help. She is actually really good too at following directions so I don't mind most of the time. She just loves being close by and in the mix of whatever I am doing (or Lee if he is in the kitchen).

This leads to her stubborn nature though too because when I do not want her help or do not need her help she just does not care and will stomp off pouting, often coming back to inform me that she is mad. "I mad momma". It is difficult not to laugh but man, she is darn ridiculous. I guess this is more stereotypical of a 2 y.o. and proves to me that Griffin was not the typical 2 y.o. I think he hit his stubbornness more around 3 y.o. This also gives me hope that she will grow into a lovely, helpful 3 y.o. (one can hope, right?)

Paisley is sleeping better these days. We have discovered that she is no longer needing a nap everday. This is in one sense heartbreaking but the fact that she can get to bed easier makes it worth it, plus we can get out and about more. On no nap days bedtime is close to 7 p.m. and on nap days closer to 8:30 or 9 p.m. Like I said I will deal since we are sleeping better all around.

Some new words/phrases:

Griffin (sounds more and more like his name)
My dah-yee (daddy), My Griffin pick up me
My momma go work
I run (hahaha. her favorite pasttime)
me help, me help
peese (please)
tank ew (thank you)
doggy outside (usually because she hears mazzy barking to come back inside)
baff (bath)
me turn (I want a turn)
My momma (to anyone who looks at me funny or not...hahah. she is quite possessive)

Hello

Not much new here although life keeps changing. Kids are getting older, work is plugging along, Lee is surviving his work as well. We just keep moving through the days. This may sound monotonous and sometimes it feels that way but really we are doing well.

We had quite a bit of snow after the new year and now this week it has nearly all melted and we are having unusually warm days for January. I am nervous about what that means for february/march. I like when it just sort of gets cold and stays cold and then gets warm and stays warm. Alas, this is cleveland so no such luck. The kids enjoyed some time out in the snow on several occasions. Griffin really likes making snow balls....haha and of course then throwing them at people. Such pure joy on his devilish face!

Both kids are sleeping well recently. So much so that we are constantly over sleeping. I hate that part of it for sure but the sleeping is great. Now I am just hoping for getting Paislye back in her bed and Lee back in our bed but for now we will take sleep any which way we get it. One night last week Lee was even able to put the little miss to bed without too much fuss. Yay!

Food...we are almost recovered from the holidays post sugar let down. Still a bit of the gimmies and only wanting sugary things to eat from the big one (and following in suit the little one) but I am able to reason with him. I really really really want to start my menu goal though and get strict on what they eat, eating what we eat. Have been working on it with the adults in the family but not always easy to break old habits.

As for my mood/health/etc. I am hanging in there. I have somehow gotten another little cold over the weekend and am feeling the effects of that deep in my lungs. blah. I should drag out the humidifier too since Griffin woke with a bloody nose today. Dry winter days, oh so fun. I have good days and bad days, mostly I just need to keep taking better care of myself. I am trying hard to keep the office UP and it is harder some days than others. New worker still a great addition but keeping it all together is always more challenging than I think it will be. At least now I am becoming more aware of my non super woman abilities. lol.

Happy Birthday Lee

Wow, he is old! lol. jk. We had a nice gathering of friends on saturday night with ice cream cake, chocolate cake, snacks, and drinks. So good to see peeps we had not seen in awhile. Griffin had his first non family sleep over (auntie Tamara) and Paisley slept really well so I was able to enjoy the party too. yay!

Now to finish up the ice cream cake so we can start with our eating better and exercise. yahoo!

Happy Birthday....

to a fellow blogger Ashley, my godson Daniel, and my friend and Griffin's fairy godmother Katie!! What a special day in the people we know :)

I hope you all have a very happy birthday and a very special year...

2010 Goals

1. continue to find better work/play/home balance
2. meal plan
3. budget groceries better
4. help Lee or just support him in finding a happier work situation
5. play with my children
6. travel a little
7. relax, breathe deep everyday, realize I cannot save the world
8. exercise more
9. work on the house
10 declutter my life (going well so far)
11. not have a baby-I say this in jest, although it is true, because so many people i know have put have a baby as one of their goals. lol. NOT here, thank you.