Oh sleep, where are you?

Paisley will not stop coming to our bed at night. This makes for some very disrupted and crowded sleeping. Ugh. I am so tired each and every morning. I know she is the cause because on the rare day she does not come in I wake refreshed. Sigh. I would try to stop her but I am sleeping so I don't realize until morning she is there sully. I don't know what to do. It is getting to be more than I want to handle and yet I know she is still little so I try to be patient. We discuss this with her and she knows our expectation. She is afraid at night...trains, dark, griffin making noises that sound like he is going to eat her, being alone. This too shall pass....for now I will drink a chai.

The big announcement

It's official! I am pregnant. 12w2d today! Went for my first visit and got to hear the heartbeat. Yay! Now read up as I am posting all my secret posts from the last 10 weeks.

Today is monday 29th

which means tomorrow is Tuesday 30th!! which means it is my mid-wife appointment!! yippee. I am sooooo excited and of course still nervous. I will be in touch tomorrow to let everyone know how it is going and then of course for the big announcement. I know you are so excited and don't even know it. hee hee.

Weight

I really try hard not to care too much about weight, pregnant or not. If my clothes fit and I feel good I am happy...of course typically if those things are happening I am around the same weight. So the last few days my clothes are not fitting and I am noticing a lot more roundness to my abdomen. I know this is nott "baby" yet but it is rather baby and fluid pushing everything else up and out...but I decided to step on the scale tonight. BIG mistake! I did jot like what I saw. Woh. Considering how sick I was and barely eating I am quite shocked. Oh well. All in the name of baby. There is not much I can do as I am active and eating well and my body the past two times gained the same even tho it was vastly different process. Ugh. My rant for the day.

one week...

one more week until my first appointment. I am sooooo excited and yet, still anxious. I just need to keep breathing and have faith all will be ok. I hope next week at this time I am shouting from the rooftops....."I'm pregnant." It will be an exciting day.

FIRST DAY FIRST GRADE

I walked Griffin to school today. I was not sad but it is so strange. The years pass and my little guy is turning into a big guy. He still "needs" me and I cherish that all the time. He blew a kiss to me too which just about made me well up but I held it together. He is a sweet soul (even through all his making his sister miserable). I do believe he is in first grade but it is the next year and the next and the next that have me a little concerned right now. I will just, for now, take one day at a time....

A better day

I did a LOT yesterday to make up for feeling so cruddy the few days before. I was expecting to pay for it today but sans a little food aversion, very mild nausea, and some mid day exhaustion I felt pretty good. Please let this be the norm....please.

Helping spread the news

A friend of mine found out she was pregnant and wanted to tell her hubby in a fun way. He just so happened to be coming to my office so she asked me to be involved. I agreed! What fun.

We made up one of my forms patients have to sign at times and part way down I included the line "baby 2.0 downloading in about nine months". She was hiding in the back with their son...I gave him the form, asked him to fill it out and excused myself. She knocked and went back in. It was quite fun and although I think he enjoyed it he was a little shocked. He also told me (jokingly) "I no longer can trust you as my doctor.". It was fun and probably the coolest thing I have gotten to partake in at the office!! At least along those ideas.

Tricky tricky baby

I have been feeling great. So much so that Tuesday I went hiking and worked all day Wednesday with little problem (minus some achey feet), and Thursday I weeded for an hour and then went to the beach that afternoon. This is when feeling good ended and I have felt awful since.....headache, exhaustion, and the return of nausea. The headache is gone but lasted a full evening and sleep. The nausea is awful...hungry and then everything makes me Ill. So, yeah, it was really stupid of me to slow cook pork today.....smelling it all day was this weird mix of "yum!" and "barf!"

Ugh....I hope tomorrow is better. I have just been taxkling small projects since that is what I can manage...paper de littering, organizing pens, getting prepped for the school paper onslaught. Griffin begins first grade on Tuesday! He is not psyched. I am though because he is driving me nits. I love the kid but my tolerance is low.

10 weeks

I started the day tired and am ending the day tired. Haha. I looked through a few old blog entries from the beginning of paisley's pregnancy and it really helped calm me....until I had a great day with no nausea, no headache, decent energy, and well very little "pregnancy" signs....then whammo right back at paranoia. Lol. Such is life. I look preggo though...ok, I look chubby, but it is there. And the fatigue..it is there for sure but today during the day it was in the background.

Griffin goes back to school in one week. My first appointment is in two weeks. I am excited about both but trying to just live life and not rush anything. So we went to the woods today with w,l, and e. It was so fun and after we went to goodwill! Also lots of fun. I began replacing my pots with stainless and my Teflon bakeware with glass. I still want some enamel coated cast iron but that is too heavy for all of it.

What else is new? Not much. I think that is enough...

Thursday off

Today is so far going very well. I slept really long and pretty well last night. Then a long funplaymatee this a.m. Including a bounce house!

Now I am lying in bed while the kids play wii. The wind is blowing the curtains and I can feel the sun's warmth too. Gorgeous. I will just rest here until I no longer want to puke...haha. Yeah right. But really today is going well. Looks like it will proceed like most days getting a little tougher to "stomach" as it progresses. Such is life.

I am heading towards 10 weeks! I am so excited and yet sooo nervous about my first appointment. I just want to hear a atrong heartbeat! I do not know why this time my faith is being challenged so much. My body knows how to do this and by all evidence IS doing this.

We have started talking names...such a fun part!

Off to sleepy.....

waiting to tell

This time around I had planned to tell everyone and anyone right away just like the last times....but then I had some significant spotting at weeks 5-6. It freaked me out...it still does in fact even though it has been gone for weeks. So I just wanted to wait to hear the heart beat before telling everyone....involving all, etc. Not sure why but it just felt right. So since I usually see a midwife for my pregnancy it is common to not see them until 12 weeks....so I wait....and wait. less than 3 weeks now and then hopefully i will feel better about telling people. So, please don't be mad...it is just my own paranoia this time that has prevented my openness. I promise, nothing else.

sleepy

apparently 10 hours of sleep on top of a nap is just not enough. This kid is taking the need for sleep seriously. haha. I slept in late yesterday and then napped a little and then went to bed at a decent hour. This morning...yawn city. oh well. Hope I can get some jazziness to my day.

On a food note, NOTHING but fruit. That is all I can stomach at any given moment so packing lunch is really difficult. Nothing sounds good at 8 a.m. and then I am hungry at lunch and nothingn sounds good. So today i packed a bunch of fruit and will eat that and then see if I can get a craving for something else.

I know this nausea could be worse but it is seriously getting old. I just hope it goes away quicker than with Paisley (lasted nearly 20 weeks). With Griffin it was magically gone around 10 weeks. i will take a compromise of 12-13 weeks :) So far there is a strange combination of the two pregnancies...I guess just to throw this mom into having no gut instinct for gender. haha. We are still undecided about finding out....such the debate. I mean, we have one of each already so it really does not matter but it is so fun finding out mid way through. Plus I think it could help the kids? or is that rationalization?

I guess I should get to work...I have an intern for just a few more days. man that has been perfect timing..she does a lot of the work for me and then I just come adjust. It has helped a lot. The irony is she is 9 months pregnant. We are like 1 doctor put together at this point ;)

Another lazy tuesday

Most of the time Tuesday's are my paperwork day at the office. In the beginning of summer I dragged griffin to work with me and tortured him ith sitting there while I worked. He was actually very good but it was hardly fair to him. Then there were several Tuesday's that he was not around so I worked by myself...long days and got a lot accomplished. The past few though have included a lot of lying around. I am just not up for much. Today I plan to rest and then do some chores and then a little running around and follow that up with a long afternoon nap. Luckily griffin is content playing super Mario brothers for hours...sadly this is not giving me mother of the year anytime soon. Haha. A few more weeks and he is backtoschool and I am back to work...altho I may still steal a nap after school.

Sick sick sick

Blah. The last two days I have not woken up wanting to puke but typically by the dinner hour I am miserable. I think it is waning or I just hope because this is the part I never want to think about or remember but I really should so I never have the desire to do this again.