Mind Games

The issue with anxiety and depression is you are usually deep in the throws of it by the time you realize that is what is going on. I'm having a high anxiety day. I am not usually a person with high anxiety/depression but I'm not ignorant to what happens to my mental state post partum either. Medical professional would label my condition most likely baby blues I think. I really have a hard time thinking it's more than that combined with normal feelings of being overwhelmed. There is a LOT going on and I'm trying to balance it all, some days better than others. Ugggh. Today was not one of the better ones.

Anyhow, Griffin is really trying our (my) patience. Lee is incredibly patient with him which amazes me. I need to learn from that. I find myself using one of my aunt's tricks these days and it works...I complain back to Griffin. I whine back at him. I fake cry back at him. He is obviously pressing my buttons so I just give it right back. That usually gets his attention and we can attempt to have a reasonable conversation. I'm beginning to wonder though if I will always somewhat dislike my child on the half year. When he was 18 months-20 months I was ready to ship him away, now again the same sort of thing. I am trying to give him and myself a break considering all the change that has occurred in his little world in the last few months but really I think it's unrelated and more just a fact of his age.

We'll get through it, won't we, just like everything else. At least Paisley greets us every morning with smiles and loads of patience...she is a doll at the moment! Griffin did try to make up with me after he whined by saying, "I love you mommy." Aw, how sweet :)