New Year, Old Reflections

Here I am in 2011 and it has been 6 weeks since my lost blog post. wow. Guess it was a busy season of holidays! Just after thanksgiving I realized we had a LOT to do before christmas so I put us on a tight schedule. Lee agreed to this but only if I promised not to do it for subsequent months. lol. I was pretty proud of what we got done this past month in the house, with the kids, and with work. And mostly I feel pretty low stress with it! woo hoo. And just like he predicted I am planning our next month of schedule...haha.

So, christmas was great! we had my parents in town and also my aunt and her family in from England! It was busy but very relaxing too. I did a lot of cooking and eating and lounging, got to watch several chick flicks, and we even went sledding! We got to spend time with the Norris side of the family too and we were all together over at the in laws on christmas to celebrate one last all living in cleveland before BIL and SIL are off to Florida. I am promising to not quite get upset about that part of the story.

As typical for the beginning of a new year I am reflecting on the year just passed and where I was last year at this point. I must say so far I am enjoying the here and now. I spent the first two days of the year ill with the flu and the next two catching up, still recovering, and working. But even with that I am in such a great place for me this year. I feel like this past year was such an amazing growth year for me personally. I spent much of this past year concentrating on family, working (oh working), and putting effort toward Allison. This has left me a little bit on the outs with some people in my life and closer to others. I never really understand how or why this happens but I have stopped really worrying about it and just living. It has been great for me. This may sound ruthless or not compassionate but really I feel like it is just me growing up, learning the boundaries I need in my life, and me figuring out what helps me, Allison, be a better person.

A lot of this past year was positive even in some of the most trying times Lee and I have faced together, unemployment preceded by job uncertainty and followed up with job uncertainty. Regardless though I smiled so much more this year and I am happy to think that we must be doing something right if that is what I remember the most! Even though I smiled a lot I was barreling through some serious self discovery and often felt lonely. Normally I would equate lonely with being miserable and although I kept thinking I was miserable because I was lonely I really was not. I have had to come to realize that being lonely does not mean I am alone OR miserable. It has been odd to say the least but I am continuing to see the beauty in my new found strength in being alone in my thoughts, alone in my ideas at times, and alone in my actions. I of course always have the kids and Lee by my side but so much of what I am referring to is more on a personal level and less family related. Anyhow, maybe none of that makes sense and I am sorry if not, I am still working it out in my head I guess. lol.

I am happy that over this past year I reached new goals in my work (go me), survived Griffin starting Kindergarten, celebrated 7 years married to Lee, traveled with my immediate family several times, took a weekend alone with Lee (even if to a wedding), continued in therapy even when I wondered why?, finished some to dos on the house list and we are still working on it, stayed on a budget and still bought some nice things for ourselves, am talking to my sister more than I have in more recent years, did part of P90X (we will try again we promise), found my love of yoga (gotta get back to it), embraced what was natural and resisted what was not (make of that what you want), stuck to my mantra "don't wait", and listened to my doctor "less in the past, less in the future".

Gonna keep on living and see what this year has to offer.