I woke up this a.m. to an almost 2 y.o. at my bedside at 5 a.m. I did not get to sleep until nearly midnight so that was NOT enough sleep. Oh well. I was able to lie in bed for another couple hours until suddenly a task popped into my head that i was pretty sure I had not accomplished and it had a deadline. I LOST it. and apparently unnecessarily because the deadline is actually next monday.
I feel so out of control. I am worried about my sister. I am worried about my family. I am scared for the future. I am angry. I am sad. I am mostly just blah. I know this will be a process but I don't want to do it.
Today is a new day though and I am going to not try to control my emotions. Instead I am going to channel them. I am going to push through them to feel them. I am going to begin to process. I will live today because I am pretty sure my sister will feel like she is not today. Maybe I am wrong on that last one, maybe.
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Briar Kelly
What's Allison doing.....
Blog Archive
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2009
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November
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- A couple days off
- Happy Birthday Mom
- Following my intuition
- Regret
- Happy 2nd Birthday
- 2 is harder than 1
- Parenting class
- Morning or Evening Cleaner?
- Poop Jokes
- Yes and No
- paisley's words
- Future Channel 5 News Reporter?
- A new day
- Long nonproductive day
- Not a good night's rest
- Mattress Expiring
- Just when I think I enjoy an age....
- "I love you too Momma"
- My friend Andy
- Happy Birthday Isabelle
- Happy Anniversary
- On the mend....
- Sibling Games
- sick
- Art, Art, and more art.
- Not a great day politically....
- Halloween 2009
- Funny Griffin Story
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November
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About Me
- Allison
- Hello all...I am a 33 y.o. chiropractor/mom/wife living in Lakewood, OH with my husband Lee , 6+ y.o. Griffin, 3+ y.o Paisley, one on the way, and our dog Mazzy. Most moments these days I feel like I have it all but then there are those mommy moments and I want to cry. On this blog I'd like to share it all...hope you find it somewhat interesting.
2 comments:
I am proud of you that you are choosing to feel what is happening as painful as it is. I am sorry this is your family's story but I am glad your sister is making a choice to get better. That is the first step as you know and a very hard one at that.
Wow. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate. What's going on with your sister? If I'm being too nosy, just tell me to butt out:) Allison, please know that whatever is going on with you, you are in my thoughts. I know how it feels to be out of control, to have too much going on, to worry, to "not want to do it anymore." You are not alone in your struggles. It WILL get better. ((HUGS))
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